


Feels Like Fiction

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Dan Howell, 2015 Dan Howell/Phil Lester, 69 (Sex Position), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Homophobic Language, Las Vegas, M/M, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Neko Dan Howell, Phanfiction, Pining, Reality, Seven Minutes In Heaven, Sexual Tension, Slavery, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, Truth or Dare, stuck in fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-01-05 16:02:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12193119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: One day Dan and Phil wake up in a very different world.It doesn't take long to realize that they're in one of the fanfictions commonly written about the two friends.What will they have to do to get out, and once they get out will things really be the same?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the fics referenced in this may be ones that I've written in the past. If one of them is, I'll put a link to it in the notes so if you'd like you can go over and read the original fic referenced in this story! (You certainly don't have to to understand this one, though, and some will be entirely made up just for the sake of this fic.)
> 
> *also warning for literally the most awkward fic you'll ever read*

The first mistake Dan made was making the decision that he wasn't valuing the creative talents of his viewers enough, promising to read more phanfiction. He'd just ignore the fact that it was supposed to be about him and his best friend - if he was part of what inspired this work, he should at least recognize it, right?

The second mistake he made was creating a private folder and saving the works he thought sounded interesting so he could read them at a later date. He intended to maybe some day shout out a few authors and tell them that their talents were appreciated. 

The third mistake is yet to come. 

* * *

"Daniel Howell, I'm not telling you again, get up for the love of our Lord, you have to walk to school!" 

Dan blinks awake in confusion at the yell combined with a knock on his door, pushing himself up in bed. 

He feels strange. 

Looking around, Dan immediately notices that he's not in his room. Sure, the checkered duvet is the same, but now he's in a twin bed. The room has dark walls with Muse posters littering them and an old record player in the corner. There's a piano and a desk covered in... is that homework? 

Standing up, Dan looks around in confusion, wondering why he feels shorter than he did yesterday. Dressing himself quickly in an all black outfit, he walks out of the room. He's in an unfamiliar house and he sees a strange woman ushering him into the kitchen and shoving a brown paper bag at him.

"Your lunch." she says in a distinctively American accent. 

"My lunch?" he asks, and his eyes widen as his own voice comes out in a similar tone, all traces of his normal British accent gone. 

"Now brush your teeth and get to school!" 

The woman shoves him towards a bathroom where his jaw drops. There is no more 'adult Dan'. No more shorter, curly hair. Now he looks seventeen again, and his hair is straightened in his old emo fringe, making him cringe into the mirror. He raises a hand to his face and feels it, and sure enough it's smoother, younger skin than he's used to now, a bit tanner than he was the day previous. He doesn't know what's going on, but it sure can't be good. 

Just at that moment Dan sees a slip of paper flutter to the ground beside him and scrambles it up, looking up to the sky from where it fell, but the only thing there is the ceiling. He frowns and unfolds the slip of paper, reading it carefully.

_Dan brushed his teeth and shot out the door, anxious to get away from the house before his Dad awoke, though he wasn't looking forward much to school. School was better than home, that's for sure, but it wasn't paradise, either, and no matter how much Dan appreciated any time away from his Christian mother and alcoholic father, the fact remained that not a day went by at school without him being shoved into lockers or beat to a pulp on the asphalt. He knew what he had to do, though, so he grit his teeth and shoved his earbuds in, turning up his favorite Muse album, Origin of Symmetry to full blast as he made the dead man's walk to school._

Dan frowns. This sounds like some sort of fanfiction... or rather  _phan_ fiction that he and Phil's viewers write about the two friends. A thought pops into Dan's mind and at first he brushes it off as ridiculous, but a moment later when he looks at himself in the mirror, he realizes just how real his situation is. 

Somehow Dan Howell has gotten himself stuck in a phanfic, and he doesn't know how to get out. 

"Daniel James Howell!" the American woman shouts through the door and Dan hurriedly shoves the paper into his pocket, leaving the bathroom and brushing past the woman who's supposed to be his mum, grateful that there's a bus stop just outside where teenagers his 'supposed' age are gathered, and he joins them. When he walks up a few of them step away and no one meets his eyes, resulting in Dan shifting his weight uncomfortably between his feet before finally sighing and reaching into his bag, pulling out a phone connected to some earbuds. He puts them in and goes to his music, groaning when the only things there are Muse, Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, and MCR. It's like he's returned to 2007. 

With a resigned sigh, Dan clicks on Origin of Symmetry, deciding he may as well go with what the slip of paper told him... maybe it'll lead him out of this place. 

The bus comes eventually and Dan makes his way to the back of the bus, plopping down and placing his bag at his feet. Students fill the bus and Dan rolls his eyes at the conversations he overhears - annoying teachers, One Direction, wondering if a boy named 'Quinn' is gonna ask the girl with a bow in her hair to homecoming. He closes his eyes and tries to tune it out. 

The bus goes another stop and since Dan's eyes are closed, he misses the people around him turning and staring in horror as he sits along the empty back row of seats when a group of four guys jaunts on. His eyes open, however, when one of them comes up and flicks him in the temple, shoving him against the window hard enough to be aggressive but not so hard as to alert the bus driver.

"What the hell?" Dan shouts, tugging out his earbuds. 

The four boys - clearly the jocks of the school - look at each other and laugh, turning back to look at him with malice clear in their eyes. The one in the front - the one who shoved him - raises an eyebrow. 

"Does Howell really think he can talk back? Does Gaylord have a death wish?" 

Dan looks up in horror before realizing that this isn't the normal world and he can't give the retort he'd really like to right now. Instead he scurries out of the seat and to a different part of the bus.

"Wise choice, Howell! We'll be seeing you at lunch!" the boy shouts after him, and Dan sinks in on himself, trying to make himself as small as possible. Though of course this isn't how he wants to deal with the situation, he's read enough of these fics to know that confronting on these guys would probably get him sent to hospital. 

Getting off the bus, Dan stops as he notices a falling piece of paper, snatching it out of the air, unfolding and reading it quickly.

_Dan went to his first class of the day, Art. He'd always liked starting the day with something creative, and he got to sit alone at his table, which was always nice. He made his way to room 305 and put his stuff down at his desk in the back, pulling out his supplies from the cubby with his name on it, and settling into his chair._

Dan folds the note away and follows the paper's instructions, miraculously finding room 305 fairly quickly and getting a sketchpad and some pencils out of a cubby labeled 'Dan', settling down at the desk farthest away from the front of the class. 

Students gather in the room and soon the bell rings. Dan looks up from his sketchpad where he'd been looking through the incredible art in there - he couldn't draw like that! to see a young Phil Lester standing awkwardly at the front of the class, a backpack slung over one shoulder, his long fringe covering one eye. 

Dan nearly runs up to him, relieved to see a familiar face, but he remembers the situation he's in and holds himself back. 

"Class, we have a new student joining us. His name is Phil, I hope you'll all help show him around." the teacher spoke warmly, and the class chorused, 'Hello, Phil.'

Dan smiles up at Phil who gives him a crooked and shy smile in return, but one that contains no recognition. 

The brunette looks down - almost disappointed. Of course he's glad that his best friend doesn't have to be stuck here too, but a tiny part of him had hoped that Phil would be  _Phil_ and he'd have someone here to help him through this. 

Even so, when the teacher brings Phil to the table Dan's at and tells him this'll be his new seat, Dan smiles and extends his hand, which Phil shakes a bit nervously. 

"Hi, I'm Dan." Dan says warmly, and it feels weird to be introducing himself to his best friend, but he has to.

"Phil." the black haired boy responds in a strangely American accent, and Dan's about to continue talking when he feels a piece of paper appear in his hand. He looks down and unfolds it, reading it carefully.

_When the new boy got sat next to Dan he wanted to be annoyed - who could blame him? He liked his space! But he wasn't. How could he be annoyed with such an awkwardly adorable boy, lanky with raven hair and striking blue eyes who looked up at him with a crooked smile that sent shivers down Dan's spine._

Dan nearly laughs aloud.

_The two got to talking, and Dan quickly found that he'd never had such an easy time conversing with someone ever. They enthused over their shared favorite bands and video game addiction, and for the first time Dan wasn't thinking nervously about the rest of the day, instead enjoying the easy back and forth he found with this new boy, Phil, whose gaze Dan swore could light the world better than the sun._

Now Dan  _does_ laugh aloud, and Phil looks over in confusion.

"What?" the boy asks, and Dan just shakes his head, folding the piece of paper back. 

"It's nothing. So... you like Muse?"

the class period passes easily and Dan makes sure to hit all the subjects mentioned in the note. It does feel easy - though it is a little weird how this Phil keeps blushing and biting his lip, looking up at Dan shyly instead of being the normal, comfortable and confident in his awkwardness Phil that Dan knows. Regardless, at the end of the class they compare schedules, and of course the author of this phanfiction wrote their whole day together.

The day passes smoothly, Dan following the little notes he finds and making sure to complete them, narrowly avoiding a beating and agreeing to go over to Phil's to hang out after the school day. 

They walk back and Dan can't help but feel a bit awkward with how nervously flirtatious Phil is being, but he narrows his eyes when his friend stops in his tracks in the middle of the pavement, or 'sidewalk' he supposes since they're in America, and Phil turns and stares at him in confusion for a moment before shaking his head quickly and beginning to walk again.

"Phil?" Dan questions, making sure his friend looks at him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah um... yeah sorry I just got confused for a second. This is my house." Phil responds, gesturing for Dan to come inside. They do and settle down on the couch - Dan knows they'll play Mario Kart and 'Dan' will begin to realize he's crushing on 'Phil', but after dinner he'll leave to go home and sneak in so he doesn't get beat by his dad. 

"Confused about what?" Dan asks and Phil begins to look confused again.

"I don't know. Nothing... I'm probably just tired after the first day at the new school."

"Right."

They sit in silence for a while as Dan tries to word exactly what he's about to ask Phil.

"Um... Phil... was what you were confused about related to us at all?"

"Huh?" Phil asks, looking up with wide eyes, but Dan can see that there's something there.

"Something about us... maybe like you feel like we already know each other..." Dan prompts and Phil seems like he's looking a million miles away as his brow furrows, thinking hard. 

"Yeah... something like that... what do you mean? Can you help me?" Phil asks, and Dan nods, beginning to feel hope rising at the possibility of having Phil... the  _real_ Phil here with him.

"Phil... look at me, okay?" Phil nods and follows Dan's instructions, looking Dan in the eyes. "Now just picture for a second... I have lighter skin and I'm a bit older... my hair is shorter and curly." Dan speaks, and he can see recognition flicker in Phil's eyes. They sit in silence for several moments before a wave of realization seems to rush over Phil and then the black haired boy is leaping into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"Dan!" Phil gasps, and Dan smiles, hugging his friend back. 

"Hey, it's me." he reassures, squeezing Phil and then pulling away, relieved to have his friend with him. "So. We're stuck in a fanfiction. I've been finding notes - pieces of the fic, and I think that maybe if we follow what it says we can get out."

"Okay..." Phil agrees with a nod, biting his lip. "Wait... Dan."

"Yeah?"

"If this is a fanfiction... Well... doesn't that mean that we'll have to..."

"Let's just not think about it too hard, okay? But we'll do what we have to - I'm not living in this hell hole forever, I want to get back and you're my best friend - if we have to bite the bullet, we will, okay?"

"Right." Phil agrees, blushing and looking at the floor.

"You're alright with that, right?" Dan questions, surprised at Phil's hesitancy. 

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." The boy stammers, eyes flickering up to meet Dan's, and why on earth does Phil seem so shy? Sure he looks younger which adds to it, but Dan knows Phil and Phil would never be so weirded out by a kiss that he'd hesitate to get them out of this situation. 

"Phil... what's going on?" Dan asks, making Phil meet his gaze, and when Phil blushes profusely and looks away, Dan's eyebrows furrow together. 

"It's nothing, okay?" Phil stammers, taking a deep breath. "Sorry - it's nothing. It's just... Dan... what have the notes been like? Who were they written for?"

"Well they were written about me..."

"Right. And you knew you were you right away. I think that maybe this one is written from your perspective, so I'm more of a character. You had to let me know I wasn't me, and... well I can still feel the things that the fake Phil is feeling right now. Which in this story... are slightly heightened... when it comes to... you know..." Phil blushes and then shakes his head, clearly frustrated with himself.

"Phil Lester! You have a crush on me!" Dan cackles at his revelation, shaking his head. "Oh my god, you do!" He chortles as Phil turns beet red, rolling his eyes.

"Dan, it's not my fault! They wrote me like this! Let's just get out of here and I can get these... things out of my head."

"And what would those be?" Dan teases. "How my eyes look like warm pools of coffee and how my dimples cave into my cheeks as if they were chiseled there by a master sculptor?" Dan giggles and Phil pushes him lightly.

"Shut up! It's the author making me!" he whines, and Dan's eyes go wide. 

"Wait you  _are_ thinking those things?"

"Well... your eyes are actually chocolatey and it's not your dimples, but the way you get that little rosy patch on your cheek over your freckle but... Oh god, just ignore me I'm sorry it's like there are two voices in my head and it's confusing." Phil whimpers, and Dan lets up on the teasing, sighing and nodding his head.

"Alright... well let's finish this fic up, I don't wanna be here any longer than we have to." 

The boys play Mario Kart and Dan meets Phil's parents - they're American and both boys whisper about how strange it is to be American in this universe, but his parents are sweet and Dan is welcomed immediately. He leaves after dinner, though, not missing the way Phil doesn't seem to want him to leave and blushes as they hug goodbye, Dan cocking an eyebrow at him and Phil coughs, shaking off the blush flooding his cheeks.

When Dan returns there's a piece of paper on his bed and he reads it, groaning before he falls into bed, picking up his phone and opening a new conversation with Phil, whose number he'd been sure to get earlier that day. 

**D: hey so we're supposed to text tonight**

**P: What about?**

**D: its disgustingly flirty but basically i tell you it was really nice to meet you and you say the same and then i sort of open up to you about my house being abusive and you tell me i could come stay with you. i say maybe but im scared and you ask if you could walk me to school the next day. i say yes and then we get ridiculously cheesy and send back and forth a bunch of hearts before saying goodnight.**

**P: ...Alright, Danny, be there at 7am sharp.**

**P: Goodnight <3 <3 <3 ;)**

**P: Bear ;)**

**D: i hate u**

**P: See you tomorrow morning**

**D: nite**

The next morning Dan is up and out by seven. (He hates it, but he knows that in this world staying in any later could result in getting beaten by an angry father he's yet to come into contact with, and he'd rather avoid that, thank you very much.) He gets outside and just a minute later Phil is walking up, and they begin strolling towards school. A tiny piece of paper floats from the sky and Phil doesn't seem to see it as Dan takes it and reads the short note. He folds it up and puts it in his pocket, sighing and reaching down to lace his fingers through Phil's.

"What are you doing?" Phil asks, looking over to Dan and Dan rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

"Part of the fic."

"Right."

They make their way to school and go through the day, Dan finding notes along the way. By the end of school he knows that he and Phil are supposed to go to a park and have their first kiss. Internally he's freaking out, and he can't for the life of him decide whether or not to tell Phil.

Both of them knew this would have to happen, so it's not as if Phil would say no, but something feels a bit wrong to just spring it on him. Still, with the way his friend is struggling with his feelings, it might just be easier to get it done and not deal with the lead up.

Dan's conflicting emotions stay with him all the way to the park until they're sitting on a bench under a tree and Phil's blushing profusely at the last thing Dan's said, and Dan finds himself putting his hand on Phil's knee. He looks him in the eye carefully and begins to lean in, watching as Phil's eyes grow wide.

"Dan." Phil whispers just before their lips connect, only inches apart.

"Yeah?"

"Is this..."

"What?"

"Is this part of the story?" Phil asks nervously and Dan pulls back, his face scrunched up in a frown.

"Of course it's part of the story, Phil, what do you think I'm going in to kiss you just because I feel like it?"

"I... no." Phil stammers and Dan sighs, shaking his head.

"Let's just get this over with."

"Right." Phil agrees and then their lips are together and it's soft and nice, and of fucking course it is because they're made to be perfect for each other in this strange universe. Dan allows the kiss to go on for a bit, but pulls back when he feels Phil begin to fall too deeply into it, trying to wrap his arms around Dan and work his tongue into the brunette's mouth, and that's when Dan pulls away and coughs, Phil turning bright red and averting his gaze.

"Uh... sorry." Phil stammers and Dan laughs at the pine chips on the ground with no trace of humor. 

"It's fine. Not your fault."

"Right."

The silence drags out for minutes and Phil finally sighs. "I'd kind of been hoping that that would be what we needed to get back."

"Yeah... me too."

"Guess we really do need to finish the fic. Suppose it doesn't end here."

"Yeah... I already got the next note already." Dan admits, Phil looking over at him quizzically.

"Well? What's it say?"

"Um..." Dan mumbles, because he  _really_ had been wishing a kiss was all it took, not wanting to touch this next piece of the story with a ten foot pole. "We get together. Like... become boyfriends. My dad finds our texts and he um... he beats me and throws me out. I go to your house and you call the cops and get him arrested, and your family takes me in. I don't know if that's the end or not, but that's all I've got so far."

"Dan... no..." Phil gasps, shaking his head. "No, you can't do that! Just come stay with me now, skip the beating part! You can't willingly go into that!"

"I _have to_ , Phil! It's in the story!

"No you don't! Just don't follow the story!"

"I have to! I... I can't explain it, Phil. I just have to follow the story. I can't not." Dan admits sadly and Phil looks on the verge of tears before he pulls Dan in for a tight hug. 

When he begins speaking, it's clear that the tears have spilled over and Phil is sobbing, choking out his words. "Okay... Jus - Just please be care - careful and come find me as soon - as you can." 

"I will." Dan promises, rubbing Phil's back in comfort. 

"Alright..." Phil agrees, pulling back and wiping his nose, looking at Dan sadly. 

They walk to Dan's house and he says goodbye, not oblivious to the fact that Phil nearly goes in to kiss him but pulls back, and then Dan's in his house. He decides to get this over with as quickly as possible and leaves his phone out on the counter, a fresh text from Phil calling him his boyfriend open on the screen. 

It doesn't take long for a potbellied unshaven man to come barreling into the room with a bottle in one hand, reeking of old pizza and alcohol and general dirtiness. He glares at Dan before stomping up to him. 

"What the hell have I told you about staring, son?"

"Sorry, dad." Dan apologizes, averting his gaze.  _What an asshole._ Not that he'd been expecting any different. 

"Leaving your stuff out, now are you?" His father asks incredulously, picking up the phone. Immediately his features darken and he glares at Dan who backs against a wall, bracing himself. "Are you trying to tell me..." the man walks up and grabs Dan by the shoulders after putting down the bottle and phone, his gaze cruel and angry. "That my son is a goddamn fucking faggot?"

"Dad, I-" 

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH, BOY! YOU'RE DISGUSTING, YOU'RE SICK!" he spits, and Dan winces as he's thrown against the wall, a vase falling off a shelf from the impact and shattering on the ground. 

Dan crumples to the floor and lays there, ready to be hit, but it never comes. Instead Dan hears a sharp, scared voice ring out through the room and he stiffens, yanking his head up. 

Sure enough, there stands Phil with phone in hand, clearly trying to look intimidating but shaking in his shoes. 

"I... I called the cops. Now let him go!" Phil demands, and Dan watches in horror as the man above him takes an aggressive step towards Phil before seeming to think better of it and grunting, turning around and retrieving his bottle. 

"Get out, fag! I don't want to see either of you under this roof ever again!" 

Dan scrambles to his feet and chases Phil out, panting once he's outside. 

"Are you alright?" Phil asks, concern wild on his features, and Dan rolls his eyes. 

"I'm fine - goddammit, Lester, you might have just ruined everything! We could be stuck here now for all we know!"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't just leave you there, I love you!" Phil stammers, clapping a hand over his mouth and turning a bright shade of pink. "Uh... sorry. Fake Phil speaking."

"Right." Dan sighs, shaking his head. "Let's just get back to your house."

They make their way halfway back before a note falls from the sky, and Dan nearly collapses in relief that the story hasn't ended here, leaving them stuck. 

"Um... alright. I think I found the end of the story."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Um... basically your parents say I can move in and we go up to your room and then make out and end up telling each other we love each other, and it ends with us saying goodnight and looking forward to our 'bright future together'." Dan makes a fake gagging sound, rolling his eyes at how cheesy this story has been. 

"Um... yeah, okay." Phil agrees, refusing to meet Dan's gaze.

"Oh, come on, Phil. Whatever you can just kiss me I won't be weird and soon we'll be back and you won't feel like this anymore. Just don't worry about it - I know it's not you, and we have to do it anyways, you can just stop holding yourself back it's giving  _me_ a headache."

"Oh... okay." Phil agrees, nodding awkwardly as they walk back, knocking on the door. 

There's an emotional conversation with Phil's parents, who, sure enough offer for Dan to stay in Phil's room. 

"Thank you so much, Mr. and Mrs. Lester!" Dan gushes, and the parents soothe him, apologizing for his previous situation. Dan shrugs and he and Phil escape to Phil's room within minutes, wanting to get this whole experience over with as quickly as possible. 

When they enter the room it's awkward for a moment before Dan sighs, closing the door and pulling Phil close to him. "Alright. We're just gonna forget it's us for a bit, okay? These versions of us are made to be together so let's just not think and it should be easy."

"Yeah... okay." Phil agrees, and then Dan's mouth is on Phil's, and he hates it because it feels so fucking  _right._

_It's just because these bodies were written for this, it's just because these bodies were written for this, it's just because - oh fuck this is amazing._

Dan's mind short circuits as Phil pushes him down on the bed and then there are hands sweetly cupping his face and his hands are on Phil's hips under his shirt, massaging the soft skin of Phil's hips, and are Phil's hips this soft in real life? Because they feel fucking amazing. Tongues are introduced, and it doesn't take Dan long to realize that this probably has been enough to suffice for the purpose of the story, but part of him wants to drag it out a little longer. Because this will never again. Because he's getting the chance to be with someone that the body he's in was literally made for. Because it feels goddamn amazing, and he wants to indulge a little longer, okay?

So Dan doesn't stop right away - he indulges for one, three, five more minutes of lips crashing, tongues melding, teeth nipping at lips, and mouths being pressed to jaws and necks before Dan finally presses Phil lightly away, slowing them to a stop. 

"Alright... we should probably..."

"Yeah..." Phil agrees, and Dan can't help but bite his lip as he looks up at the wrecked boy over him, cheeks flushed. And it's totally not weird that Dan leans up to press a soft peck to those plump, swollen lips before pulling Phil to his chest, whispering 'I love you.' to Phil, which is returned without hesitation.

Dan smiles and cards his fingers through Phil's hair, wishing him a good night and allowing himself to drift into sleep, trying desperately to ignore the tiny part of him that's a bit sad that he'll wake up alone when he's back in the real world. 

* * *

When Dan does wake up, it's immediately clear that this journey isn't going to be quite as simple as he'd thought, for he certainly isn't back to reality yet as he looks around at his old room in he and Phil's apartment that they'd left months ago, blacking out moments later.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic referenced in this: Happy Birthday... I'm Sorry?   
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11103966  
> (The fics I reference will not have direct quotes on the slips of paper (at least not for every one) simply because it would be way too complicated and tenses would be different and pieces that are important to this fic may not be mentioned in the original.)

Phil wakes up and rubs his eyes, relieved when he looks down to see his familiar blue and green checkered bedspread. Thank god they're out of that crazy world and back to reali- Wait.

Phil squints, reaching out to his end table and putting on his glasses, allowing the room to come into focus.

Crap.

Yes he's back in his room, but this is his room from months ago. He left this flat in the summer, he shouldn't be here. When he looks to the foot of the bed he sees his old much-hated wicker bedframe and groans, pressing his face into the pillow. As much as he doesn't want to accept it, it looks like he's stuck in another fic, and Phil isn't sure he has it in him to go through this again. 

Sighing, Phil gets up and gets dressed, turning on his phone to find the date and time. 6:00 PM, June 11th, 2016. Alright, that's not too bad, just over a year ago. It takes a moment for the date to register and then suddenly Phil's eyes are wide. June 11th. Dan's birthday! He breathes a sigh of relief - if someone chose to write a fanfic based specifically on this day, it was likely that it would only be a one day thing. Still, a lot could happen in one day, but at least they probably wouldn't be stuck here for too long. 

When a piece of paper floats down from the sky, Phil looks up in confusion but takes it, reading the fine print. 

_Phil went downstairs to retrieve and pay for the cake he'd ordered for Dan's birthday, thanking the delivery man and turning around to head back into the house when disaster struck._

Great. Unexplained disaster. Exactly what Phil was hoping for. 

With a sigh, Phil slips off his bed and down the stairs, wondering how on earth he and Dan survived before having to go up and down so many flights of stairs just to get to and from their flat. No wonder they never got out. 

Sure enough, when Phil opens the door, there's a man standing there with a large cake box. Phil takes it from him and thanks him, handing the man some bills from his pocket and turning back, preparing himself for whatever might happen.

In his nervousness of a potential thing falling on him from a higher flight of stairs or something to come tumbling down towards him, Phil fails to look at his feet and misjudges where the first step is, out of his view that is obscured by the box. Stubbing his toe on the first stair, Phil goes flying forward and plummets to the ground, the cake getting squashed underneath him and spilling out the sides of the box in a big sticky mess.

Phil takes a deep breath, trying to see the bright side. Hey, 'disaster' could have meant anything, at least this wasn't so bad. 

He cleans up and takes a shower, and that's when the flood off calls come in. Calls from all he and Dan's friends, apologizing for missing the party but saying they  _have_  to go to the Britney concert in London that night. Phil thanks them for their calls and sits down, exhausted, when another piece of paper falls from the sky.

_Deciding that he needed to do something to fix his best friend's birthday, Phil grabbed his things and made a trip out to the grocery store, returning with everything to make a homemade cake, a card he thought Dan would like that was all black and on the inside just had the words, ' **a card to represent your soul** ', a few balloons, and on a last minute whim, a bouquet of yellow tulips._

Phil sighs, folding the slip of paper away and making his way down the stairs, hailing a taxi. If the fic tells him he needs to bake a cake, he'll bake a goddamn cake, he just wants to go home. 

On the bright side, at least every time he thinks of Dan his face doesn't flush like it did in the last place, conflicted thoughts and emotions warring in his brain. Though he can't quite seem to forget how perfectly he and Dan had slotted together in that other universe - how good it'd felt to be with him. How Dan's lips had tasted warm and sweet, and how their lips had moved together so seamlessly... Phil shakes his head to rid the thoughts, looking out of the window of the taxi at the streets outside to distract his mind. It'd just been that way because it was a fanfiction. That was all.

Phil reaches the store and buys the things he needs, returning to the flat and sighing as he arranges the tulips, writes a sarcastic, disgustingly drippy and sweet love letter on the card, and gets to work baking the cake. 

Beginning to get frustrated with his entire situation - everything that's going on - not knowing why or how this is all happening, Phil begins stirring his mixture faster than he's aware of, and soon the wooden spoon flies over the rim of the bowl, him jolting backwards to try to correct his mistake and ending up knocking flour off the counter and collapsing on the floor, covered in a mixture of sticky batter and dry flour, matting together into sheets of chocolate sludge clinging to every part of him. 

Shit.

"Phil?" Phil hears Dan come into the room and sighs, sitting up and looking his friend in the eye.

"Dan... do you know where we are?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Phil? We're home, did you hit your head? Are you alright? What the fuck happened?"

Phil sighs, pushing himself up to a standing position and trying to wipe the chocolate batter off before giving up and turning his attention back to Dan. 

"Dan, we're in a fanfiction. We were already in one, it seems like this one's written from my point of view so you're not you right now, but I know you're in there. Just think. This is a year ago, we're living somewhere new now, we don't live here anymore."

Dan stares at Phil as if he's gone mad for a few moments before a flicker of recognition crosses his features. At this exact moment a piece of paper flutters down and Phil grabs it impatiently, knowing he's been grumpy and snappy, but deciding he has the right to be. 

_Dan helps Phil scrape and peel off the batter, and when it finally gets to his lips, Dan kisses the batter off. The boys stare into each other's eyes, and they both realize what's been right in front of them all along._

"Good. That sounds like an ending." Phil mumbles to himself, looking back up at Dan who seems lost in thought. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah... yeah, I think I remember. It's just...  _wow_ this brain is in love with you. He's been pining after you for years, holy shit!" Dan's eyes are wide as he makes the distinction between himself and the fake Dan. "He's feeling pretty brave now too, it being his birthday. I think he might actually have kissed you."

"Well... you're gonna have to."

"....What?" Dan asks, his tone suddenly low.

"It's how the story ends. You pick the batter off of me and then you kiss the last bit off my mouth. We've gotta finish it."

"Phil... I... I don't think I... this mind it's just..." Phil rolls his eyes as Dan stammers and flushes, taking a deep breath because he remembers what that was like and knows he should be helping Dan right now, not making it harder on him.

"It's alright. I know that's freaky to hear... especially because of all the feelings the other one has about all this. Just... try to remember you're you, and this is all just to get out of here. Or if that doesn't work, let him take over and it'll be easy. Okay?"

Dan looks down and takes a deep breath before nodding nervously. "Yeah... yeah, okay."

"Alright. Now help me get this off!" Phil requests, holding out his arms so Dan can begin to pick off the batter. 

He does, slowly moving along Phil's torso and neck, peeling bits of stuck flour and batter off. Phil notices him blushing several times, until finally Dan stops and looks him in the eye. 

"I'm just gonna let him take over. This.... it's too much."

"Okay." Phil agrees, his eyes soft to let Dan know it's okay and he understands. 

A moment later Dan's peeling batter from his ear, but now the brunette's moved closer, biting his lip as he looks up at Phil shyly. 

God, this is weird. 

Dan's close enough to his current age now to look nearly identical, although his hair is straightened. It's really strange to be looked at that way by your best friend, and... Oh god, he just needs to not think about any of this. Dan  _should_ be acting like this right now... it's what the fic wants, and the closer they get to the fic the more likely their chances are of getting out - Phil understands now what Dan had meant before about how he  _couldn't_ go against the fic. Something inside of him just  _needs_ to complete it - he knows it's the only way to move on. 

So Phil leans in towards Dan, returning his shy glances and stares, and soon Dan's peeling the last bit off his face and then he's leaning in, but he stops just before kissing Phil and moves away, biting his lip.

"What's wrong?" Phil asks, confused, and Dan shakes his head, scratching the back of his neck. 

"I... um... I think I'm gonna take over again. It just feels kinda wrong for it to be him... I dunno. I'm sorry." Dan apologizes and Phil shakes his head, pulling Dan in for a hug.

"There's no need to be sorry. Whatever's most comfortable for you."

"Okay." Dan nods, and then they're shifting their hug and it turns into a kiss and it's chocolatey and warm, and Phil can't help but shiver at the tingles that rush up his spine, making him pull Dan even closer and press their bodies together without second thought. He sighs into the kiss and then pulls back, smiling lightly as Dan drags Phil's lips away with his teeth slowly, letting them snap back into place. 

"Alright... was that it?" Dan whispers and Phil shrugs, still staring at the brunette before him, in awe of how good kissing him feels - how warm and safe he feels in Dan's arms, and how much his heart is yearning to return to them. 

Phil has never claimed to have strong willpower.

Because of this, it's under three seconds before he's back in Dan's arms, planting a soft peck to his lips and then hugging him, swaying back and forth gently. 

"I dunno. I think so." Phil whispers, hugging Dan close and shutting his eyes tight, drinking in the warmth. Until the warmth is gone.

* * *

Phil blinks awake in a foreign bedroom and nearly cries in desperation and dismay before his head hits the pillow and he blacks out.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dan wakes up and immediately knows that something's wrong. 

He's laying on a cold, damp concrete floor in a small room with bars over the exit, a grate over part of the floor, and the rest slants down to the small opening. 

The entire room smells nasty - the sharp scent of urine clear in the air and Dan scrambles off the floor backing into a wall, and - OW!

Turning in surprise, Dan barely catches the tip of something in his vision before it disappears behind him. He scrambles his hands behind him and grabs onto part of the reason he's feeling so off, eyes gaping in horror as he pulls the long fluffy  _tail_ around him and into vision, having to lean against a wall in shock. 

No. 

_God no._

Beginning to panic, Dan brings a hand up to his hair and his ear twitches away as his fingers tickle the sensitive fur there, and  _oh god he has furry ears on top of his head._

Dan knows what this is, he doesn't want to admit it to himself because that makes it real, but he's trapped in a Neko fic, and he's in a fucking kennel. 

Eyes going wide and breath quickening in panic, Dan reaches out quickly when a note begins falling, reading it quickly.

_The day passed as all others passed, slowly as Dan's stomach ached with hunger, miserable in his tiny cell. Why didn't people understand that Nekos had feelings too? At the very least they could give him a bed or some toys - something to keep him happy and feeling cared for, but no. He got nothing. The pet curled up and whimpered as he did every day, shying away from the few people who came to visit, looking for new pets and examining them hungrily, sometimes taking them into a 'meeting room' and cuddling them, which Dan always leaned away from. The workers told him he'd have to stop that if he ever wanted to get adopted. He knew they were right - but he didn't stop. Today was different, though. Today a man came in with bright and kind blue eyes, an emotion he rarely saw in the lustful and possessive humans that generally visited. This man took Dan to a meeting room, and for the first time in his life, Dan actually felt the desire to impress this human - this potential Master._

Dan nearly gags at the words, cursing his viewers for writing such awful situations that he now has to deal with. At least Phil will come in today, though. For the first few hours Dan breathes through his mouth, trying not to choke on the stench of the air in the kennel, avoiding the gazes of the people who come in as they rake him up and down, making Dan want to hide behind something, but there's no where to run. Only his tight, tattered white shirt and shorts that he'd appeared in, and he simply avoids eye contact as they pass him by, continuing down the line of kennels where Dan hears several purrs and a few hisses. 

What the actual fuck.

Sure enough, though, after a few hours Phil walks in and Dan perks up, slinking to the front of the cage and grabbing the bars, looking through hopefully. 

Phil looks back and smiles lightly, walking up and examining Dan's face. "Hello. My name's Phil." he speaks softly, and Dan sighs, hoping that his friend won't be too hard to break out of this 'character'. 

"I'm Dan." he responds, and he watches as Phil turns and asks one of the workers to talk to Dan in the meeting room. 

"As long as you'd like to?" he asks Dan before the worker moves the neko, and Dan nods graciously. He flinches as handcuffs are linked to his wrists and a collar is clasped around his throat as the worker leads him by a leash into a small room with a couch and a beanbag on the ground, uncuffing him and leaving the two men alone. 

"Hello, Dan. It's nice to meet you." Phil speaks gently, walking up and carefully undoing Dan's collar, hanging it up on a hook and moving to sit on the couch. 

"You too." Dan responds, taking a seat next to Phil but not touching him. "Um... Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you... remember me?"

The blue eyed man frowns, shaking his head. "Sorry... no."

"Come on, Phil..." Dan's already impatient as he groans, slumping his shoulders. "It's me, Dan. This isn't real life it's a fanfiction and I'm not really a cat we're best friends and we're stuck in a different universe, and-"

"Oh... okay." Phil speaks carefully, warily eyeing the brunette. "Um... Well it's been nice to meet you, Dan..." Phil goes up to a button that Dan can tell calls the workers and presses it before everything flashes bright white and Dan closes his eyes, shrinking away from the blinding light.

When he opens his eyes Dan is curled up on the couch, his head resting gently on Phil's leg as the black haired man pets his hair gently. 

"Wh-" Dan begins to question but then stops, deciding he should think before acting. 

What had just happened? It felt like time had been reversed - like he got shoved into the story the author had been trying to tell. But why? It'd been fine the other times when they'd tried to remind each other of real life... what's different now? Dan frowns, concentrating, and that's when his eyes shoot wide, discovering something that certainly hadn't been there before. 

He wants - no, he  _needs_  to purr, and suddenly the warmth of Phil's leg is radiating through him, making his heart flip around in his chest as his entire body begins to feel like he's floating. Unable to hold it in, Dan purrs loudly, earning him a soft chuckle and the hand that was petting his hair to move to his arm, stroking it softly, sending shivers through Dan's body.

_What the hell?_

It's like it was in the cake fic... when he'd been pulled out and he was aware of himself, but also had thoughts and feelings that the character was supposed to be feeling. But why? 

* * *

Phil gently strokes the sweet neko resting in his lap, his heart full. He hasn't even seen any others, but he already knows, this is the one he wants. He feels a little awkward at the adoption clinic, knowing he's not here for the reason most are. He's not here to get a sex toy, or to buy a pet for his child. He's here because deep down, Phil's lonely. He wants a companion in life - a friend, and he thinks that maybe this neko - Dan - could be that friend for him. 

Just as Phil's sighing, coming to a decision in his mind, a small slip of paper falls from the ceiling. He frowns and catches it, reading it over. 

_Phil stroked the neko on his lap, smiling gently to himself. Within minutes he'd gotten the worker back in the room and has filled out the adoption forms, purchasing a cat bed and a few toys as well, and leads the neko to his car. He couldn't wait for them to start their new life together, and when the neko looked up and blushed at him, thanking him politely but clearly terrified, Phil couldn't help but pull him into a warm hug, whispering in his ear that everything was going to be alright and Phil was going to take care of him._

Phil's eyes widen in surprise as memories come flooding back, but they're muddled. Yes, he's Phil, but he's also  _Phil_. While he has a general grasp of the concept of who he is in reality and the fact that this is an alternate world, he still is very much this man... or this 'character' he supposes, but it feels nothing but real to him. 

"Dan? Do you know who I am?" Phil asks and Dan's eyes shoot wide, nodding. 

"Yes! I mean... yes, Master. No - I mean - yes, I mean... yeah, Phil, I do." the neko stammers, looking embarrassed and worried as he wars with himself. 

"Right. And I know who I should be... who I am... I don't know. This is weird."

"Yeah... I know. Do you know why?"

"I dunno... I just got a slip of paper, but it didn't seem that odd."

"Wait...  _you_ got a slip of paper?" Dan questions, his eyes wide. "I got one too!"

"Wait... okay what does that mean?"

"Maybe... maybe this is a fic written from alternating perspectives... not just sticking to one." the minute Phil voices the idea Dan's eyes go wide and he nods. 

"Of course!" he exclaims. "Ugh god... this means I'm stuck like this this whole time, though?" Dan whines, but a moment later his ears go flat and he shrinks back, his tail coming up to cover his face. "I'm sorry, Master. I don't mean to complain." 

Phil raises his eyebrows in confusion, but his body moves without his control and he's hugging the neko, stroking his back as Dan purrs against him, and _what the actual hell is going on?_

* * *

 

Dan freezes after the purr escapes him, a blush covering his face. "Um... anyways... maybe you should get on with it and adopt me, you know?" he suggests, but immediately a wave of shame and terror rushes over him and he nearly panics at the realization that he's just sassed not only a human, but a potential owner who could soon own Dan and be able to do whatever he wants to him.

Dan shakes this off, though, reminding himself that this is  _Phil._ He has nothing to worry about. Goddamn this is confusing. Dan sighs, trying to quiet the opposing voices in his head, merely deciding that the warmth that rises in him at Phil's agreement that he'll adopt Dan, getting up to talk to the worker, is alright and he lets it gather, flowing through his body. 

He doesn't want to admit, however, how he hops down and circles on the beanbag a few times before curling in a ball, his tail over his head as he purrs gently, imagining Phil's warm and safe arms are over him again. 

Soon the two are in a car, legal documents signed, and Dan is in an all-out war in his mind. Not only is he jumping between wanting to tease Phil for his driving and being terrified - and yes, sometimes gently aroused by the man next to him, he's internally freaking out. 

He's freaking out because of what Phil had needed to buy for him when he'd adopted him. 

The thing that had made Phil flush a violent red he'd never seen before. 

The thing that was the sole reason they hadn't spoken a word since Phil had got it, both terrified of what it could mean.

Dan is internally panicking because of the plastic bottle of pills shaking about in the bag in the backseat labelled;  ** _'HEAT SUPPRESSANTS'_**.

He knows his fans too well to hope that it's just a coincidence. To hope that nothing's going to go wrong. To hope that he and Phil aren't going to have to do something that Dan doesn't even want to  _think_ of. 

And he's also freaking out because another side of him - the character 'Dan' - is arguing with his thoughts. Neko Dan is excited by the idea, aroused and anticipatory of the potential put in front of him, and it's confusing because if Dan doesn't really focus on it, it feels like those are his own thoughts. 

When they arrive at the house Dan is quick to grab the bottle of pills and hide it under the bed that Phil lays out for him in the corner of his bedroom, setting up the few things he has for him and promising that they'll go to the store soon to get Dan new clothes and some toys to help him through his heat. 

When Dan raises his eyebrows in confusion and then horror, Phil shakes his head and widens his eyes, gasping.

"Sorry! That wasn't me! I mean... we won't do - I mean - uh..." Phil is red and Dan would be laughing if the situation wasn't so serious right now. "I mean um... you don't have to sleep on the floor." Phil finally concludes and Dan sighs, nodding. 

"Alright." he agrees, looking up and snatching a piece of paper as it falls from the ceiling.

_Dan curled up next to Phil, amazed at how lucky he'd gotten with his owner. He still wasn't completely convinced, a part of him still scared that this could all go wrong, but as Phil pulled him in to his side and Dan curled around the man on the bed, he let his worries wash away, nuzzling into Phil's neck and purring, letting the vibrations shake his whole body._

Alright... that isn't so bad. Dan can do cuddling. After all he and Phil had done in the past few days, cuddling doesn't seem daunting at all now, and Dan informs Phil of the progression, changing in the bathroom into a pair of pyjamas Phil gives him after cutting a small hole for his tail, returning and curling up next to Phil in the bed, the way the fic told him to. His body purrs naturally, and he bites back his fear and discomfort at how his heart rate picks up and his body begins to heat up, resisting the urge to curl his neck and attach their lips. 

He knows it'll happen again. He knows they'll end up kissing again - god, probably much more, and Dan still isn't ready to think of that. But for now, he's gotten a break. The fic just said cuddles, so cuddles is all he has to do, and he slowly drifts to sleep, Phil's hand making slow lines up and down his side as he tries not to overthink what this will all be like when they get back to reality.

* * *

 

Phil wakes up to see a folded piece of paper resting on Dan's ear. His human ear - not his cat ear. God, has Phil's world turned upside down. 

Trying to ignore the ridiculousness of the situation as well as his other half's sudden desire to press his lips to the sleeping boy's forehead, Phil takes the note in his free hand and opens it, reading carefully. 

_Phil woke up slowly, pressing a soft kiss to Dan's temple to wake the neko boy from his slumber._

Oh, so Phil  _should_ give in to that urge to kiss Dan's forehead. Alright.

_The two giggled softly, wrapped in each other's arms, and then Phil got up, picking out outfits for the two to go shopping. They ate a quick breakfast of cereal and Phil was appalled when he learned that Dan had only ever been fed kibble. After a warm breakfast curled on the couch with Dan nuzzled into Phil's shoulder, the boys made their way to the shopping center to pick out some new clothes for Dan, as well as a few toys to help him through his heat._

Phil takes a deep breath, realizing that this seems like a longer and more in-depth fic than the others have been, mentally preparing himself for what it could bring. He's not sure he's ready for it, but he knows he just needs to give himself over to it and accept the situation, maybe finding solace in the other Phil residing in this body with him, since the things he needs to do all align with the wants of that Phil. Maybe it'll be easier to just step back and observe. He doesn't know... but he pushes the awkwardness to the side in his brain and leans down, softly pressing his lips to Dan's temple, the boy in his arms groaning and pulling him further against Phil, purring gently.

"Dan... it's morning."

"Hm?" the young boy asks sleepily, blinking open as his ears twitch towards Phil. Dan's eyes are only halfway open as he smiles, a purr rising from deep in his throat and coming out as a soft and squeaky mewl before he leans in shyly, pressing his lips gently against Phil's cheek and pulling back with smiley eyes and a giggle that makes Phil's heart flutter. 

No matter the strangeness of the situation, Dan being happy makes Phil happy so he smiles, kissing Dan's forehead once more. "It's time to get up, Dan. We have a big day ahead of us. I got a new note... we've got some errands to run."

The brunette looks confused for a moment before his eyes go wide in shock. "Oh! Phil - I.... sorry. I forgot for a moment, it... it wasn't me."

"That's alright." Phil promises, wondering if he should pull away and let go of the boy in his arms, but finally deciding to stay there, realizing that they need to work through their discomfort. If cuddling is awkward, then god knows how they'll get through the rest. "Dan..." Phil starts, wondering how to voice his thoughts to his friend. "I think... we're probably gonna have to do a lot more. From how slowly this one is moving... I think we might be stuck here a while. We should probably just get over it and accept it so we can help each other through this instead of being all weird around each other."

"Right." Dan agrees, biting his lip. "So... what exactly do you suggest?"

"I don't know..." Phil admits, leaning his head into the pillow. "Just... be more open to each other? Maybe act on the impulses our 'fic versions' have, since we're supposed to be following the story anyway? And just know that I won't be mad if you do something and I hope the same goes the other way, because we both know that it's just because we're stuck here? I dunno... I just don't want to have to fight the other Phil anymore - it's exhausting, and I don't want to have to keep tip toeing around you."

"Yeah... that sounds good." Dan agrees. "I won't be mad. Just... if it's something big, we'll talk first? But it doesn't have to be weird."

"Yeah. Not weird." Phil smiles, pulling Dan in for a hug and then letting go, sitting up and pushing himself off the bed. "Anyways! It's time for fic-Dan to get his first taste of real food!" 

The brunette's eyes go wide as neko Dan takes over, and soon they're set up exactly how they were in the note, Dan leaned against Phil as they scoop cereal from their bowls, purrs rolling consistently out of Dan's chest, sending vibrations through Phil where Dan's back connects with his chest. Phil catches his breath a few times when he's tempted to lean down and start kissing Dan's neck - deciding not to follow those impulses quite yet, but he does hold his friend close and stroke his hair and ears with one hand as Dan finishes his bowl, tilting it back and drinking the milk once he's eaten all the cereal. 

"You ready to go shopping?" Phil whispers, not knowing exactly why he's whispering, but it just feels right in their current situation.

"Mmmm five minutes?" Dan asks, putting his bowl down and flipping over so he's chest to chest with Phil, arms wrapped around him as they lay on the couch, Dan's face buried in Phil's shoulder and neck. 

"Sure." Phil chuckles, petting Dan's back. "Five minutes."

* * *

Dan can't believe how needy he's being. He supposes it's part of his neko self, but it's as if Phil's his only source of water and every moment he spends snuggled up with him the more parched he gets when he pulls away - needing the black haired boy to take care of him and remain nearby. 

They lay there for a minute before Dan is too overwhelmed by his other half's thoughts and gives in, nearly trying to jump back when he feels himself begin to kiss gently at Phil's neck, but deciding it's not worth it. Anyways, they're gonna have to do this at some point. Might as well just accept it. 

'He' mouths softly at the gentle skin there and feels Phil stiffen and then tighten his arms around him and he smiles into Phil's neck, lightly nipping and licking. "Is this okay?" he forces himself to whisper, biting at the spot where Phil's neck becomes his shoulder, scraping his teeth along the skin and feeling Phil shiver under him.

"God, yes!" Phil's response comes immediately and Dan feels himself smile, his tail flicking happily from side to side as he purrs into Phil's neck, the vibrations making Phil's skin flutter before the black haired man shifts his hips up gently and they both freeze, Dan pulling back so they can look at each other, eyes wide. 

They stay there frozen for a few moments before Dan scrambles off his best friend, brushing himself off and coughing, taking control back (as best he can) of his body and trying to calm the flush spreading up his neck and face. 

"Um... sorry." Phil mumbles, pushing up to a sitting position, looking awkwardly at his knees.

"It's okay. You're fine. It's my fault actually. Sorry I just kind of... let him take over."

"Yeah no... me too. Um... so we're okay?"

"Yeah."

"Right."

"We're really doing a great job at this not being awkward thing, aren't we?" Dan jokes and he's happy when Phil looks up at him and laughs, shaking his head.

"You're right. You know... it's probably good that we... um..."

"Yeah." Dan finishes, nodding so his friend doesn't have to name what it was they were just doing. 

"Um... okay. Let's go get you some clothes."

"Right."

The two men leave, getting into Phil's car which Dan is terrified of, but apparently this fic Phil knows how to drive so his friend lets the character take over and they make their way to a pet store with no trouble, Dan grumbling as the pull into the parking lot. 

"Can't believe I have to get my fucking clothes at a goddamn pet store..." he grumbles and Phil looks over, the eye contact scaring Dan as he's tempted to curl in on himself and submit to his Master, but he fights the urge. 

The two go inside, a little bell ringing on the door and a woman looking up with a smile, immediately switching to a surprised look, but containing her shock to not be rude. 

"Hello, Sir. How can I help you today?" she addresses Phil, her gaze flicking to Dan periodically in an almost concerned and hyper-attentive way, making Dan feel a bit awkward as he shifts from foot to foot. 

"I'm looking for some new clothes for him." Phil responds and she nods, leading them to a clothing section. 

"Wow... you really must have a loyal one to walk around with him not on a leash like that." she laughs awkwardly as she pulls out some items for Dan to try on, him nearly gagging at the bright obnoxious colors and patterns.

"Where's the black?" he mumbles and Phil clears his throat, getting the lady's attention. 

"Excuse me, Ma'am, do you have those in black?" he asks, and Dan silently thanks him as the woman returns to the rack and replaces the pieces she'd picked out with black versions, directing the two men to a changing room. 

"There you are, you can see how you like them on him." she indicates and Dan and Phil share a glance before entering the room together. 

"God, I hate her." Dan nearly spits when they get inside, his tail thrashing angrily and his ears pressing back against his hair. 

"She's just doing her job. It's the world, not just her."

"I know... still." Dan pouts, and Phil sighs as he turns his back. 

"I won't look. Go ahead." 

Dan nods appreciatively as he quickly tries on the pieces, and he has to admit; as much as he hates the sales lady, she definitely knows how to pick out clothes that will fit. It feels strange to have to work a tail through a hole in the back of his pants, but eventually he works it out and ends up with a small wardrobe, Phil ensuring him that he knows from Fic Phil's mind that he can easily afford it. 

They pay and are about to leave before Phil stops in mid-tracks, his eyes going wide.

"What?" Dan questions, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh... nothing. Just um... here let's go to the car." Phil goes outside with Dan and opens the door for him, making the brunette blush and then shake his head, trying to get the shy thoughts out of his brain. "Oh um... I forgot something inside. I'll be right back." Phil stammers and Dan knows he's up to something but doesn't have a chance to question the older man before he's ran back inside the store. Dan sits and twiddles his thumbs, reaching up and scratching one of his ears, and a few minutes later Phil returns, a small plastic bag hanging from his hands. 

"What's in the bag?" Dan asks immediately when Phil gets in the car and the boy flushes, carefully placing the bag in the backseat, folded over so you can't see the contents. 

"Nothing."

"Phil..."

"Fine. It's um... just something that was written that I had to get. To um... help you. When you uh... you know." Phil stutters and Dan frowns before the understanding washes over him and he flushes, looking down at his knees. 

"Right." 

Holy shit. He's gonna have to go through a heat. Obviously it's not something that even exists in the real world, so he has absolutely no idea what it'll really be like. He knows it's always described as excruciating; long and exhausting, overwhelming the body completely, and Dan begins to hyperventilate in the passenger's seat. 

"Phil. Phil I'm scared." Dan gasps and Phil looks over, concern washing his face. He quickly pulls to the side of the road and turns to Dan, unbuckling his seat belt. 

"Dan - what's wrong?" Phil asks, eyes wide, and Dan grips his gut as he tries to gasp for air, panic rising in his chest. 

"I - I... I don't think I can do it. I don't know what's happening I'm scared and I don't think I can... I can..." Dan gasps, tears forming and spilling over, and nearly immediately Phil's over the center console and scooping Dan up, shifting their positions so Phil is sitting on the seat and Dan's in his lap, reclining the chair so they're laying down.

Dan reaches around Phil and clings for dear life as Phil gently rubs his back with one arm and scratches softly at the back of his ear with the other. 

Dan's mewling helplessly at this point, tears spilling out and onto Phil's shirt as he tries to focus on Phil's hands on him, the warm body wrapped around him and under him, the gentle "Shhhh"s that are coming from where Phil's face is buried in his hair and Dan's heart rate begins to go down again, taking deep breaths as he calms himself down. 

"Sorry." he whispers finally, feeling Phil pull back to look at him. He feels embarrassed of his puffy, wet eyes but he looks back, smiling gently as Phil leans in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "Thank you." he breathes, gazing into the soothing blue eyes that meet his in a comforting smile before collapsing back down, allowing his need for comfort to take him over as he melts into the boy beneath him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this 'fic' within the fic is gonna need multiple parts/chapters, so that was part one of this fic, part two to come soon!


	4. Chapter 4

_The more time Phil spent with his Neko, the more he realized that he may have found more than just the friend he'd originally been looking for. Something about the shy, sweet neko was irresistible to Phil, and day by day he was finding himself more and more attracted to the boy. He'd never had an owner before and he was so starved for attention - so needy and desperate to be connected to Phil at all times, that the man couldn't help but think of him in a romantic way... and he was pretty sure Dan felt the same. Now it was time to find out for sure._

Phil sighs as he reads the note, shaking his head. Their fanbase is insane. He stirs the pasta that he started cooking for dinner, and just like the note said, Dan is right behind him, arms around Phil's waist with his chin resting on the older man's shoulder as he watches him cook.

It's been a day since they got Dan his clothes, and Phil still can't get over how weird it is to not only feel uncomfortable being romantic with your best friend - a friend who the world has constantly tried to shove romance on but with whom romance has never been there with -  _combined_ with the fact that every little touch from Dan sends a shiver up Phil's spine, and all his natural instincts... or rather all  _Fake Phil's_ natural instincts are telling him to woo the neko, to take care of him and protect him. 

"Mmm that smells so good." Dan literally purrs in Phil's ear, and before he knows it he's let the spoon rest against the pot and has turned around, hugging Dan back and pressing their foreheads together, staring into each other's eyes. Phil realizes the moment he's there and blinks hard, trying to regain control of this body. He's just barely won the battle, feeling himself take back over, when Dan leans in and closes the small gap between them, gently pressing their lips together. 

Phil freezes. Is this Dan, or is this the Neko Dan? He doesn't know, but when the brunette's hands come up to cup Phil's cheeks he lets his body take over, grasping at Dan's hips and kissing back, feeling warmth flood through him. Soon he feels himself moving and they've crossed the kitchen, Phil now having Dan backed up against a counter. He doesn't know where his own strength comes from as he feels his hands grip Dan's waist and hoist him up onto the counter, moving into the space between his legs. 

Dan is kissing him back hungrily and Phil can't help but smile as he feels a nervous lick on his lip, opening his mouth and letting Dan inside. Phil's entire body feels like it's lit up and when Dan pulls back, holding Phil's bottom lip between his teeth until it snaps back into place and then looking at him through wide brown eyes, Phil actually feels his heart melt. 

* * *

Dan doesn't even realize what's happening until he's on a counter with Phil between his legs, their bodies pressed flush together with his legs wrapped around Phil's back as they kiss hungrily. When he finally works himself out of the haze he's been in, taking control of his body, Dan blinks and pulls back slowly, biting Phil's lip as he pulls back. For several seconds they just stare at each other, and Dan can't believe how absolutely wrecked Phil looks, cheeks flushed and jaw dropped slightly, pupils wide in amazement and lust. 

Dan can feel his own arousal rising and he knows Phil can feel it too since they're pressed so tightly together, but by the way Phil licks and then bites his lower lip, shifting even farther forward and staring hungrily at Dan's mouth, the younger man knows he doesn't  _have_ to pull away.

He has two options. 

He can pull back and apologize and things will be fine - though slightly awkward for a bit - or he can keep going and see where this takes them. He'd be lying if he said that he didn't want to, his body is responding astoundingly to Phil's, and the brain that is sharing space with his certainly wants Phil more than anything.

Taking a deep breath, Dan makes a decision and darts in to the underside of Phil's jaw, nipping and licking there. It's not something he'd usually do but it feels natural in this catlike body, nuzzling into the skin there as Phil groans and shifts forward. Dan's eyes widen as Phil shifts just right and suddenly their erections are pressed together through their jeans and Phil's even harder than he is, but quickly Dan shuts his eyes and shuts his brain off as well, allowing himself to not overthink this and just enjoy the moment. It feels good and they have to do it anyways... once they get home everything will be normal. It will. It's okay to indulge in this now,  _it won't change anything._

Dan feels a mewl escape his throat as Phil quickly pulls his neck away to move down and reattach their lips, and Dan draws in a deep breath, wrapping his arms around Dan's back and shoulder blades, pulling them even tighter together - if that's even possible. He purrs into Phil's mouth, making the older man chuckle against his lips. 

"Is this weird?" Phil whispers, his lips brushing against Dan's as he holds him in place by his waist. 

"Only if we make it weird." Dan responds softly, and he can't believe the neediness in his voice.

"Okay... good." Phil affirms, and Dan opens his eyes in confusion when he feels Phil move away. He brings his hands down to steady himself on the counter, frowning as he sees Phil move back to the stove. 

He understands a moment later, however, when Phil turns the pot of pasta off and comes back to Dan, carefully gripping the hem of his shirt between Phil's long and pale fingers. He looks up, his blue eyes curious and hesitant, but when Dan bites his lip and nods, smiling shyly, Phil lifts the shirt up and over Dan's head, discarding it farther down on the counter. He moves back in to kiss Dan, but the brunette holds a finger up to Phil's lips, stopping them, making Phil look up at him questioningly.

"Uh uh uh, you don't get to go do that and then leave me high and dry." Dan scolds with a grin, gently gripping Phil's shirt in his hands and helping him out of it until they're both bare chested, staring at each other. It's not as if Dan hasn't seen this - and much  _more_ of this in the past, but now a large part of Dan's brain is short circuiting, realizing how beautiful every line and curve of Phil's chest is as he gawks at the other man. 

"Phil... you're..."

"Yeah." Phil breathes heavily, slowly moving his way back between Dan's legs, his hands slowly brushing up the brunette's thighs. "You too." Phil's staring at his chest also and Dan bites his lip as their foreheads press together and they both reach up to feel each other's chests, hands gliding along smooth skin. Dan's fingers find themselves tangling in Phil's chest hair and he laughs softly as a little purr comes out. 

"I hope we have to go to another one of these where you're the cat. It's really fucking weird." he giggles. 

"You really want to have to go to another fic?"

"Well obviously not. But you know."

"Right."

Dan's hands have found their way around Phil's back now, pulling and brushing at the line of Phil's spine, his sides, his shoulder blades, his neck. Finally Phil looks up and smiles, leaning in and closing his eyes as their lips gently connect, pulling once again so they're pressed together as much as they can be, Dan's feet locking together at the small of Phil's back. Dan hums as he feels their skin come into contact with each other, sparks of electricity flying between them. 

Soon Dan's eyes widen as he feels himself being lifted off the counter, wrapping his legs tighter to keep hold as Phil grabs his bum hard with both hands to keep Dan in the air as he walks them slowly to a room, kicking the door shut before he tilts his chin forward and they're kissing again, and then they're falling and they land on a soft, squishy bed and they're giggling as they kiss, hands roaming over one another as Dan lets his cat side take over completely, allowing himself to be taken for a ride. 

The first thing they do is reposition so they're laying lengthwise on the bed and Dan giggles as Phil kisses up and down his ticklish neck, squirming under the man who's gently grinding down on him, gasping and mewling when Phil sucks at a particularly sensitive spot. His hips are working themselves back up and into Phil's, and he's beginning to realize the difference between normal arousal and arousal for these Nekos. 

His eyebrows raise but he keeps his eyes shut as he feels a more intense tug and stiffening than he's ever felt in his life, and suddenly his eyes do pop open when something wet slides down his bum and begins to pool in his jeans. 

What the fuck is that?

Is he bleeding?

Suddenly Dan is panicking, but he remembers to tap into the neko side of his brain, and suddenly he realizes what it was.  _Of course._ Dan's read enough neko and omegaverse fics to know that this has to be slick, the substance that nekos produce as a self lubricant when they're aroused. 

Hell it's weird to be a different species.

Dan whimpers as he feels his jeans digging into him in all the wrong places, and soon he's fumbling with the buttons, unable to take the pain any longer. Tears are pricking his eyes as he finally gets them undone and shoves them down, Phil scrambling to help him get them off, then removing his own. 

Dan's eyes go wide and he curls in on himself as he feels a wave of arousal crash into him, slick pouring out of him as he suddenly feels harder than he's able to bear, tearing off his boxers and beginning to stroke himself, tail lashing as he loses all control. 

Phil's eyes are wide, but Dan sees the shift as Phil takes control back from this universe's version of him, and suddenly concern is clear in the blue pools staring at him. 

"Dan... Dan are you okay?"

Dan can't seem to make any sound other than high pitched whines as he thrashes his head, falling backwards against the mattress. Why does he feel like he's dying? He doesn't even notice as his second hand makes its way behind him and into his hole that's stretching, aching for something to fill it. He bites his lip as his fingers do next to nothing other than get covered in the slick that's now spilling out and directly onto Phil's mattress. 

He feels barely capable of anything, but when a note flutters down in front of him he strains and lets go of his erection to grab the note, unfolding it and reading it through tear-filled eyes as his back arches, looking for something -  _anything_ \- to relieve him. 

_Dan and Phil moved together like dancers, rolling their bodies together as one, and Dan didn't realize until too late that he'd forgotten to take his heat suppressants._

FUCK.

Of fucking COURSE Dan forgot to take his heat suppressants, he's not used to having to take anything like that! He groans, tossing the paper to the side even though he knows there's more he hasn't read. It doesn't matter. That was all the information he needed. He's a cat, and he's in fucking heat. 

* * *

"Dan? Dan are you alright?" Phil repeats, simultaneously feeling aroused and concerned by his friend's behavior. "What's happening?"

"It fucking... it... it STARTED, PHIL!" Dan shrieks, and Phil's eyes fly open. 

"Oh." Is all he can think to say, staring blankly at Dan, naked and writhing on the mattress, crying as he shoves himself down on his fingers. 

"I... Phil.... fucking... help... NOW!" Dan gasps out and Phil blinks hard, not allowing himself to overthink before he jumps into action. He tears his boxers off and pulls Dan towards him, moving them around so Dan's head is against a pillow and he's propped over him, blinking hard. 

"Um... do you need... what do you want me to..."

"JUST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY PHIL I DON'T NEED ANYTHING JUST HELP ME PLEASE!" Dan is sobbing now and Phil nods, eyes wide as he lines himself up. The moment he brushes against Dan, the brunette shoves himself against Phil and he bites his lip at how wet and open Dan already is, pushing in slowly at first before realizing that Dan doesn't need him to be gentle. His body has prepared itself. 

Phil bites his lip before thrusting in all the way, gasping as he bottoms out and Dan's grinding against him, crying and begging, mewling in a high pitched whine that sends shivers down Phil's spine.

He's inside of Dan.

He's having sex with his best friend.

Phil pushes these thoughts away, knowing that they'll do nothing to help him at this point, deciding instead to focus on his pleasure. It suffices as a distraction, because  _god_ Dan feels good. 

The black haired man leans down, pressing their lips together as he begins to move inside of Dan, thrusting in and out as he brings his hand down to wrap around Dan's erection, doing all he can to help relieve his friend. 

"Dan... Dan... tell me what you want." Phil gasps as he presses himself in as far as he can and then pulls out, kissing Dan when he can, but getting jostled out of place by his erratic thrusts. 

"Just... just don't stop... please." Dan begs, bringing his hands up to Phil's face and steadying it so they can kiss with more ease, Dan's tongue working its way inside immediately and Phil groans, his fingers digging deep into the soft flesh of one of Dan's love handles as his other hand works at his cock, thumbing over the tip as he picks up the pace, thrusting in and out of Dan as the brunette clenches around him. 

"Please... try to last." Dan begs and Phil nods, a small smirk coming to his face. That's one thing he's always been proud of. If he wants to he can work himself up quickly, but if necessary Phil has always been able to control himself and last as long as he needs to, and right now he's holding himself back, ensuring that he'll be able to work Dan through this for as long as the boy underneath him needs. 

"I will." he responds breathily, nipping at Dan's lip and earning a purr as the boy's tail comes up and caresses Phil's thigh. At first it makes him jump but then it sends tingles up him, the soft fur tickling over his skin. "What's it like?" he breathes and Dan groans, shoving himself down on Phil and then frowning, flipping them over in one smooth motion so he's riding Phil, bringing a hand up to tweak his own nipple as the other steadies himself on Phil's shoulder, picking up the pace dramatically as he rises and comes crashing down on Phil, making the older man bite his lip, holding back and making himself last. 

"It's so fucking good, Phil. It's so good, you have no idea." Dan gasps as he continues to bounce up and down, Phil's hand matching Dan's pace on his cock, staring up at his best friend through blurry eyes, wondering when and how fuzzy ears became so endearing. "It's a constant climax... like from the beginning I've been at the peak and it hasn't gone down. It's overwhelming but Phil... with you inside... it's so fucking good." 

"Good." Phil smiles, amazed at how much he's enjoying this. Normally he wouldn't expect to find himself in this position. He'd think of himself as more of a bottom generally and Dan as a top, but this universe seems to have different ideas and honestly he's not complaining. "Want to help you. Whatever you need." he gasps, groaning as Dan purrs, bending down to press their lips together before sitting back up and now using both hands to make circles over his nipples, his head thrown back in ecstasy. 

"Just... talk to me."

"What?"

"Just talk to me. Please?"

"Oh um.... okay." Phil agrees, eyes going wide because not once in his life has he tried to talk dirty to someone, and honestly he has no idea how. "Uh... do you like the way that feels?" he asks hesitantly, trying to add a growl to his voice that comes out more strained than anything. 

"God, Phil, not like that!" Dan almost laughs opening his eyes and shaking his head. "No... just talk to me." Dan slows his movements a bit, now raising and settling gently as he brings his hands down and strokes over Phil's chest, looking into his eyes warmly. "Just... don't try to be sexy. We both know you can't talk dirty. Just... nice things maybe?"

"Oh... right." Phil agrees, gulping as he can't seem to break eye contact with Dan as the boy above him bites his lip and widens his eyes expectantly. And there it is. That shyness. That desperate neediness that Dan's always had a hint of but that is magnified a million times over with him in this Neko body. That shyness that makes Phil want to do anything and everything to keep this boy safe and protected. 

"You're beautiful." he whispers, bringing his free hand up to cup Dan's cheek. "Really. You are." it feels a bit strange to be saying all this to  _Dan_ , but when Phil looks at the whole situation this is certainly not the weirdest thing they're doing. Still... it feels intimate, and almost...  _real_... in a way that just having sex doesn't. 

"I love your laugh. You have a lot of them but the quiet one when you're shaking your head at me but I know you're not really annoyed is my favorite."  _Where the hell is this coming from?_ "I know you always say you're insecure but you're honestly the most beautiful person I've ever met. Every inch of you." Phil speaks softly, allowing his eyes to graze down Dan's body and then come back up and meet his eyes, smiling nervously. He's a bit shocked when Dan has tears glossing his eyes and smiles, breathing out air he'd held in, stopping his movements for a moment to bend down and brush his lips against Phil's cheek. 

"Thank you." Dan whispers. 

"You're welcome."

Both men stare at each other for a few moments before Phil feels Dan begin to clench around him, his body trying to drag Phil in for more and he begins moving again, Dan purring and caving his chin to his chest, clearly exhausted but still aroused beyond belief, his new body needing  _more._  

"Dan... how close are you?"

"Think I'm nearly there." Dan whispers and Phil nods, picking up his pace. 

* * *

Dan feels like he's in a different realm. And he supposes he is - technically.

His body has lit up like a Christmas tree, and everything feels ten times more intense than normal. He's been leaking cum since even before Phil got inside of him, and his body shudders as he realizes he's currently in the middle of an orgasm that's already lasted nearly fifteen minutes. 

"Phil... Phil keep going. Please. Phil thank you. Thank you." Dan purrs as his energy drains. He's beyond grateful when Phil seems to notice this and flips them back over, taking over the work as he allows Dan to just lay on his back as Phil moves in and out of him, picking up the pace as he times his yanks on Dan's cock with his hand to match his thrusts, his other hand coming up to circle and tweak Dan's nipple. 

"This alright?" Phil grunts and Dan nods, barely able to make the motion at all, feeling as if he's left his body and is living in a state of euphoria, sweaty and shaking as he loses complete control of his body, eyes fluttering shut and head relaxing to the side as his hips gently move back against Phil's, slick covering both them and the entire mattress. 

"So close." Dan manages to whisper as he feels his entire body clench and then he's coming, spilling out waves after waves of white sticky substance on his chest and Phil collapses, allowing himself to come as well, filling Dan from the inside and making the younger man purr with contentment as he feels the warm liquid fill him to the brim. 

They lay there for several moments, breathing heavily, Phil flush with Dan's chest as their naked bodies press together, but finally Phil takes a deep breath and gets up, pulling out of Dan gently, eliciting a weak whine from deep in his throat as he clenches around nothing. 

When Phil begins to leave Dan suddenly panics, reaching out for him and whimpering, but Phil assures that he'll be back shortly and Dan collapses back. He knows Phil's returned when he feels a warm washcloth being rubbed gently over his stomach and legs and Dan purrs appreciatively, eyes fluttering open to meet Phil's. He watches his friend fondly as Phil cleans off his body and then scoops him in his arms, taking him to a guest room and plopping down with him there in a fresh bed with clean sheets. Phil gives him a pair of boxers with a hole for his tail and he puts them on with his tiny bits of energy, Phil putting some on as well and then they're curling up, hugging each other close in the bed as Dan purrs gently into Phil's shoulder.

"Thank you." he whispers, unable to imagine what it'd have been like if Phil hadn't have helped him through that. 

"Of course, Dan." Phil responds and his voice seems a bit strange but Dan just sighs, understanding why Phil might be feeling off right now. He probably would be too, if he weren't already beginning to get aroused again. Dan's eyes widen as he feels slick begin to build within him and feels his cock begin to harden.  _What the hell? That fast? What are these heats like?_ Dan delves into Neko Dan's brain for this information and his eyes widen as he comes back with the knowledge that heats last three days and he'll only get up to twenty minutes between each wave. 

_How the hell is he supposed to do that?_

Dan grasps out as he sees a piece of paper begin to fall and he reads it, breathing a sigh of relief.

_Dan curls farther into Phil's arms and presses a soft kiss to his lips, staring warmly into the brown eyes of his owner - the man he trusts and knows he'll be with forever. He purrs as he curls deeper into his chest, and when the three words escape his lips he doesn't even notice at first. But when Phil leans down and whispers, "I love you too." in Dan's ear, he's certain he'll never experience a better feeling._

That sounds like an ending! Dan quickly kisses Phil and then curls up, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible before he falls into another wave of heat.

"I love you." he whispers, and his eyes go wide when he feels Phil stiffen. Fuck! He forgot to tell him it was part of the story. 

Before Dan can explain himself, though, Phil leans down and presses a kiss to his hair. "I love you too." Phil whispers and Dan smiles, thankful that they know each other well enough for Phil to understand why he said that and what he needed in return. 

Dan closes his eyes and smiles as everything goes cold.

* * *

When the boys awake, they know immediately where they are. Vegas.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Dan blinks slowly as he wakes up, his eyes adjusting to the dark and realizing that he's in a large bed in a hotel room with a sleeping Phil beside him. Out the widow is a skyline and... oh. 

Dan knows where he is. And it's certainly not back to reality yet for him... It's Vegas. 

Groaning, Dan falls back against the pillow, bringing his hands up to his face and rubbing it roughly, shaking his head. Really? Vegas? If he knows anything about his fanbase this fic is going to be very party-heavy and  _very_ sexual. He's not sure he can handle it after that last fic... but he supposes he doesn't have much of a choice.

With a sigh Dan removes his hands from his face and looks over to Phil. His eyes soften as he looks at his sleeping friend, lips parted gently and fringe messily pushed into a half-quiff by his pillow. Phil looks positively adorable, his features soft and gentle, his lips pale pink and plump, and...

Shit. This must be another one of those 'dual perspective' fics, because invasive thoughts are creeping into Dan's mind.  _He_ doesn't look at Phil like that. It must be his 'fic self' in whatever perverted fic they're going to have to work through this time. 

Just as Dan is leaning over to bump Phil's shoulder and wake him up, his eyes go wide and he freezes. Phil's still asleep... but he's not so still anymore. No, Phil is  _definitely_ moving as he slowly pushes his lower half into the mattress and curls his lip up a bit, whimpering quietly as his eyebrows pull together. 

Shit.

Dan knows exactly what kind of fic this is gonna be. He's read too much phanfiction to not know the general trope of 'sleep humping' the bed while moaning the other's name, resulting in feelings being revealed and more often than not leading to hookups. He honestly can't believe that this style is so popular... he's certainly never sleep-humped a mattress to the point of climax ever before. 

Sighing, Dan just decides to wait it out, resting on his side and watching as Phil slowly begins to pick up his pace, small whines and groans escaping from deep in his chest. Dan doesn't even think enough to question _why_ he's watching, just biting his lip at the sweat starting to soften the ends of Phil's hair, making them stick to his forehead as the bed begins to shift a bit with each thrust. Dan can't help but get slightly aroused, and he shakes his head, reminding himself that that's just the fake Dan in him... not actually him.

When a note begins to flutter down Dan snatches it, tearing his gaze away from Phil to read the small lettering.

_Dan watched as Phil reached his climax, moaning Dan's name into the pillow. He slipped off the bed and headed to the shower to take care of himself before curling back up in bed. While Phil was still sleeping, ever so carefully, Dan leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his hair, drinking in the musky scent of his long-time secret love. He didn't know what this all meant, but he was determined to get an answer tomorrow... and he knew he'd need alcohol to get Phil to tell him what he needed to hear. Making a mental note to convince Phil to drink the next night, Dan fell asleep intentionally a few inches closer to Phil than before, hoping the man would smell him in his dreams and wake up wanting him... with any luck tomorrow could be the start of a new era for the two men, and Dan couldn't help but feel dangerous hope flutter in his chest._

Okay. At least he doesn't have to fuck Phil _tonight_. He's still exhausted from being a cat in heat.

God, that's a thought Dan never expected to have.

He quickly gets up and makes his way to the shower, undressing and blushing even though there's no one to watch as his already half-hard cock springs free. Embarrassed, Dan runs the water and quickly works himself up and over the edge, but when he comes all he can think of is how caring Phil was with him and how their lips felt, pressed together and salty with sweat as Phil moved in and out of him...  _FUCK._

 _It's just the fake Dan talking, it's just the fake Dan talking._ Dan thinks over and over again as he quickly washes off and pulls on pyjamas, making his way back to the bed and laying down close to Phil, but with his back turned.  _I'm not pining after Phil, that's just the fic version of me._ Dan assures himself, and after half an hour of trying to quiet his brain he finally falls asleep, breathing softly.

When Dan wakes, Phil's gone and he can hear the shower running.  _Good. No awkward conversations about why he's crusty and what I saw or heard._ Dan thinks, standing up and stretching before changing into his clothes for the day - black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt littered with white stars. Sighing, he walks over to the phone and calls room service, ordering waffles and fruit for both he and Phil, as well as a pot of coffee. Soon the food is arriving and then Phil is walking out of the bathroom in jeans identical to Dan's as well as a turquoise t-shirt with a dinosaur on the front, and  _damn that shirt really makes his eyes pop. They're so bright and pretty and his eyelashes... NO._ Dan blinks hard, trying to shake out the invasive thoughts as he pushes a plate towards the other seat at their hotel room table and Phil smiles appreciatively, those bright blue eyes widening in excitement as he takes a seat. 

"You got my favorite!" Phil exclaims before happily digging into his stack, moaning happily around the syrupy waffles in his mouth. 

"What kind of best friend do you think I am?" Dan asks rhetorically, taking his own bite. His eyes widen a fraction as he sees Phil blush and look down, and suddenly he remembers that Phil hasn't been shaken out of this yet. "Phil. Phil, you remember who I am?"

"Um... what?" Phil asks in sudden concern, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I mean in real life. This is all fake, Phil. The real us... we're different. We're in a fanfic right now, Phil. Just think for a second." Dan prompts and Phil's eyebrows pull even closer together, suddenly looking extremely worried about Dan. "Please just think." Dan prompts, but Phil looks near calling a mental ward so he sighs and decides to give up, not wanting to ruin all this as Phil clearly isn't about to remember. He laughs without much trace of humor and reaches out to awkwardly punch Phil's shoulder, something he's never done un-ironically before. "Gotcha." he says in a slightly lacking tone, trying to pull it all off as a prank.

"Oh... right. Um... good one." Phil lets out a breathy laugh, a twinge of concern still in his eyes as he returns to his breakfast.

Why isn't he remembering? In all the other fics it hasn't been too difficult... and especially in this one it should be easy, since this one is from two perspectives. Dan woke up immediately knowing who he is and getting slips so obviously it's partially written in his perspective, but he's having all these thoughts about Phil which means that Phil's perspective must be in here too. So why isn't Phil remembering?

"So um... speaking of fanfiction... have you read any of those weird ones where I'm a cat?" Dan asks as subtly as he can, trying to jog Phil's memory. 

"Dan... I don't really read that stuff..." Phil responds with an eyebrow raise. "You know that."

"Right. Well um... it's really weird. I'm all needy and I have a tail and ears... they're pretty pornographic too." 

Dan watches as Phil nearly chokes on his waffle, his eyes going wide.

"You read that stuff? About us?" Phil nearly squeaks and Dan blushes, though he doesn't know why.

"Um... yeah. Sometimes I mean. It's just... it's made by our viewers, it feels like we should at least try to appreciate some of it since it's a bunch of work they do that's inspired by us."

"I mean... I guess so, but Dan... those can be  _really_ weird. And isn't it strange... you know... to read about that? With you and me?"

"Oh um... yeah I mean I guess, but if I just try to think of 'us' as characters, it's not too bad."

"Oh... okay." Phil responds hesitantly, and Dan curses to himself. Why the hell can't he get Phil to remember?

Suddenly a thought pops into his head. 

Could it be that Phil's character maybe isn't so developed in this? Maybe he's a smaller character so there's not as much room for real Phil to make it through? 

No, but that's impossible. Because of the way that Dan can't stop staring and keeps having these romantic thoughts about Phil it has to be from both of their perspectives... Right?

Shaking the thought off since the possible conclusions that could draw terrify him, Dan stands up quickly and dusts himself off. 

"Um... I think we should go into the city today. Go around... try to have some fun."

"Yeah... that sounds good." Phil agrees, still seeming a bit confused and Dan bites his lip, shaking his head. 

Fuck.

Shaking off his confusion, Dan gets his things together and walks to the door, holding it open for Phil. "After you." Phil smiles and nods, walking through with a small flush and Dan can't help the way his heartbeat picks up and  _dammit this HAS to be from Phil's perspective too! Why else would I be having these thoughts? It's just taking longer than normal... that's all._

Dan grabs the piece of paper out of the air as he shuts the door, reading it as he walks behind Phil towards the elevator. 

_Dan and Phil spend their day in the city. They go to a casino and Phil miraculously wins a good sum of money, and Dan can't help but feel his heart swell at the excitement on his best friend's face. Dan makes sure to grab a bottle of vodka on their way back to the hotel, and soon they're sat on the bed passing the bottle back and forth as Dan tries to work out how he'll get the information out of Phil that he needs._

"Dan? I know what you're gonna say, but I swear I have a good feeling about this! Can we pleaaaase go to the casino?" Phil begs with wide puppy eyes that Dan can't resist - not that he'd want to, knowing that this is what they need to do for the story anyways. 

"Fine. Don't blame me when you lose all your money, though." Dan grumbles, but he knows that won't happen so there's a small smile behind his words that makes Phil lean in and rest his ear on Dan's shoulder, batting his eyelashes. 

"Thanks, Dan! You're the bestest!" 

"You're a child."

They make their way to the Casino a few blocks down and Dan can't help but feel a slight tingle whenever their arms brush or Phil looks at him in just the right way and  _Goddammit when is Phil gonna fucking wake up I need him with me!_

Soon Phil is playing a slot machine and Dan rolls his eyes, but he's inwardly smiling at his friend who is so adorably concentrated on the game, frowning intently at the three spinning wheels as if he can control them with his mind if he tries hard enough. 

"You're an idiot."

"I'm gonna win!" 

"Uh huh..." Dan muses, walking up and putting his hands on the back of Phil's chair. His knuckles touch Phil's shoulders and his friend freezes for a moment before subtly shifting back against them.

 _Oh my god Phil you're so fucking whipped! You have such a huge crush on me!_ Dan giggles internally, rolling his eyes once again at this false universe's version of his best friend. 

"Alright, this is gonna be the one!" 

"You've been saying that for fifteen spins now."

"This one's different!"

"Sure, Phil."

Dan watches as Phil concentrates and pulls the lever and then soon enough three cherries are popping up and the machine is blaring noise and Phil is jumping up out of his chair and into Dan's arms and his smile is so huge that Dan can't help but grin back, hugging Phil tightly. 

"I told you that was the one." Phil squeaks in a soft but excited voice and Dan's heart melts as he hugs his friend even tighter, inhaling Phil's musky raspberry scent and relaxing into the warm and familiar sensation in such an overwhelming environment. 

"You really are a psychic, Phil." Dan responds but there's no teasing in his tone, just fondness, and when Phil hugs him tightly and then quickly brushes his lips against Dan's cheek, the brunette's eyes widen. Phil pulls back quickly and suddenly his eyes are wide and afraid as he puts space between them. 

Dan is quick to close the gap, though, pulling Phil back in for a reassuring hug. "It's okay." he whispers in Phil's ear, and just to prove it he softly presses his lips to Phil's hair. Who cares that they're out in public? It's not as if this is real, and anyways it's unlikely that any of their fanbase is  _here._

When Phil pulls back, still connected by the arms but far enough to look at each other, his eyes are wide and questioning. He looks over Dan's features slowly before his eyes shoot open and then he collapses back into Dan's embrace, resting his forehead against the younger man's shoulder. 

"Oh god. Dan. Hi." Phil whispers and Dan's heart leaps.

"Phil?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's me. I'm here."

"Oh thank god." Dan breathes in relief and tightens his grip around his best friend. "I thought I was never gonna get you out of there."

"Yeah I feel... far away."

"So you're um... you're not a main character in this one? You haven't gotten any notes?"

"No... why?"

"Oh um... no reason."

_Fuck._

If Phil hasn't gotten any notes... and he's not a main character... then  _why in the hell is Dan's heart fluttering every time Phil looks at him?_  

Deep down Dan has a theory, but it's too scary to mention. Scratch that, it's impossible. And even if it  _is_ possible, it's just a product of circumstance, an effect of the situations they've been forced into that will go away the second they're back to reality. He doesn't like Phil. He  _doesn't._

"So um... what do we have to do?"

"Oh uh... well on our way back I pick up vodka and then we drink and I find a way to get you to confess your feelings. That's all I know so far." 

"Alright. Well let's go, then." Phil decides, pulling away from Dan and  _dammit I don't feel cold. I don't miss holding him. I don't miss that musky raspberry smell and I CERTAINLY don't want to reach out and grab his hand right now. Fuck._

The boys pick up some vodka at a corner store and are soon back in their hotel room. Dan can't help but notice the constant shy glances Phil is giving him whenever they brush by each other, and he keeps having to remind himself,  _it's because he has another character in his head. It's because there's someone else in there. But there isn't one in mine, so what the fuck is wrong with me?_

They flop on the bed and uncap the bottle, each downing a few shots as they pass it back and forth before Dan finally clears his throat and puts the bottle aside, feeling sufficiently tipsy without being too drunk.

"Alright, Phil, truth or dare?"

"Really Dan?"

"Hey it's the easiest way to get a 'confession' out of you." Dan makes air quotes with his hands and Phil rolls his eyes.

"Alright, well, 'truth'." Phil makes air quotes back with another eye roll and Dan can't help but break down into laughter.

"Phil!" his voice comes out high pitched. "That's not how you do air quotes! Just two fingers, not your whole hands, you look like you're trying to aggressively grope someone at a club!" Dan shakes his head as he giggles at his friend who's blushing now. "And that's not even a place to use air quotes! What the hell are you doing you absolute living flop?"

"Actually shut up!" Phil complains but Dan can hear the embarrassed smile in his voice and he smiles softly back, calming his laughter. 

"Alright. Truth you said? Alright Philly I bet you never saw this one coming... prepare yourself for seventh grade flashbacks... Who do you like? As in  _like_ like." Dan raises his eyebrows in mock seriousness, then breaks down laughing as Phil shakes his head. 

"Well,  _Dan..."_ Phil starts contemplatively, seeming to size up the situation. His eyes take in all of Dan before he gets an evil smirk on his face that Dan recognizes all too well. He knows Phil's about to do  _something_ but he only has a moment to draw in a breath before he's being tackled to the bed, Phil on top of him as he smiles down and leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to Dan's lips.

 _Fuck his lips are soft. And they taste amazing. I mean... they taste like vodka... but also like Phil and holy shit I can't get enough of that._ Before Dan can even recognize what he's doing he's leaned back up, searching for Phil's lips to get a second kiss before falling back against the pillow and smiling shyly back up, a tint of a flush to his cheeks.

"Does that answer your question?" Phil asks and Dan nods, then suddenly reaches out as a piece of paper falls next to them. He unfolds it and reads quickly.

_Dan couldn't believe what was happening. Phil was leaning over him and telling him he loved him, and when the hell had that happened? He couldn't complain, though, as Phil leaned down and began sucking softly at Dan's neck, making the younger man writhe in pleasure. Soon Phil was sitting up and removing Dan's shirt and then his lips were back. The raven haired man trailed hickeys down Dan's chest, and when his lips pressed gently against Dan's belly, the brunette's eyes popped open wide, realizing what was about to happen._

"Alright, Philly..." Dan sighs, tossing the note aside as it disappears. "We've got ourselves a task."

"Yeah?" Phil asks, and Dan amounts the excited gleam in his bright blue eyes to the vodka he's had and the fact that he's sharing a brain with someone who's supposed to be in love with Dan. 

"Um... well there's no non-crass way to put it, so... uh... you ready to give some head?" Dan asks, blushing at how blunt it sounds.

"Wow, Dan, your pillow talk is top-notch tonight."

"Shut up!" 

"Well..." Phil starts, biting his lip and reaching up to brush a lock of Dan's hair out of his face.  _Since when did Phil get so flirty? It's just because he's sharing a brain. But I'm not. So why the hell am I loving this?_ Phil leans down and presses his lips lightly to the corner of Dan's mouth. "I would be ready to give..." Phil moves to the other side and presses his lips there and suddenly Dan feels his abdomen tightening and he almost tries to hold himself back before realizing that'd be completely counter-productive towards finishing this story so he sighs and lets his arousal take over, mumbling a soft 'Mhmm?' "So long as I receive as well..." Phil concludes, smiling up at Dan with dangerous eyes before leaning down and kissing him fully. 

Dan can't help but arch up into Phil, kissing him back hungrily, letting his primal wants take over. But this time it's not another mind. It's not another  _person._ It's just him... and that terrifies the living hell out of him. 

"Alright..." Dan agrees, raising his hips to grind gently into Phil, grunting softly as his movements are returned. "How do you want to do this?"

Dan nearly whimpers as Phil pulls away, but when he sees his dark and dangerous gaze studying him he can't help but feel aroused, waiting hungrily for what Phil will say. His eyes shoot open as he feels fingers dig into his sides and then he's being yanked over and he's on top of Phil now, staring down at those wide blue eyes, licking his lips in anticipation. 

"I was on top last time. It's your turn. Let's get out of these clothes and then turn around." Phil instructs and Dan nods desperately, tearing his shirt off and smiling as he watches Phil eat him up with his eyes, raising his long pale fingers to glide over Dan's chest, thumbing gentle circles over his nipples that make Dan's cock twitch excitedly. Soon he's shifting backwards so he can pull Phil up to a sitting position, pulling his shirt off and then he's rolling off quickly as they both take off their pants and boxers, throwing them to the side and Dan's back on top of Phil, grinding down, skin touching skin as he reconnects their lips.

"You know..." Phil breathes into his mouth, heat radiating through Dan as he feels all of them pressed together. "This is the first time we've been together like this... in our normal bodies."

Dan nods at this, smiling because for whatever reason he likes that. He likes that they're doing something now and it's really  _them._ Their bodies at least... it feels more...  _real_ somehow. 

Dan decides not to question why that makes him happy as a tiny voice screams at him that this is all dangerous but he throws the voice out of his head and out the window, across all of Vegas so he doesn't have to think about it. 

"You ready?" Dan whispers and Phil nods. He smiles, pressing one last peck to Phil's lips before he turns around on hands and knees until he's face to face with Phil's cock, bouncing up into his face, red and swollen. He contemplates it for a few moments, wondering exactly how to start, then groans and drops his head as he suddenly feels warm lips encase his own throbbing dick, a tongue coming up to press against the side, taking him nearly all the way, warm and wet. As his head drops Phil's dick presses against his cheek and it doesn't take much effort for him to just shift to the side and open his mouth before suddenly he has Phil between his lips and he lowers down, licking the side as he coats Phil in saliva, making him as slick as possible. 

Dan groans, moaning around Phil's cock as Phil takes him particularly deep, and he feels the walls of Phil's throat close around him, working him even deeper. In response to his moan Phil moans as well and Dan shudders, the vibrations from the noise in Phil's mouth making his arousal grow tighter in his balls, holding himself back from thrusting into Phil's throat. He lowers himself farther down on Phil and thanks god for his lack of a gag reflex as he begins to deepthroat him, pushing and swallowing until his nose is buried in springy and coarse dark hairs. He works his tongue against Phil's shaft and moves up and down, feeling Phil leave his throat and then plunge back in, and feeling Phil do the same to him.

A thought pops into Dan's head and he smiles slightly, taking Phil all the way and then humming a note. Phil groans and then hums too, and soon they're both humming, the vibrations sending each of them wild. Dan nearly giggles as a thought pops into his head and he begins humming 'Toxic', getting the feel of the growl deep in his throat to add to the sensation for Phil, smiling as best he can with a dick down his throat as he feels it twitch. Soon Phil's joined in and Dan has to hold back laughter and the thought that he and Phil are currently 69ing while humming Toxic together and  _what the hell is this world?_

Neither man lasts long and soon Dan is tapping at Phil's leg and he feels Phil pull back so he's not down his throat anymore but Phil keeps his mouth around him. He's quickly feeling a tap and decides to do the same, and when Phil licks teasingly over his tip and then plunges down Dan can't help it as he shudders, coming directly into Phil's mouth. It's not long until he hears and feels a moan and suddenly the warm, bitter, almost metallic tasting substance is pouring into his own mouth and he works Phil through it, licking over the tip a few times to make sure all is gone before swallowing hard and pulling off, waiting until Phil's done the same and then turning around and collapsing, wrapping one leg over his friend and pulling him close, nuzzling into his neck as they cuddle on the bed. 

"Wow." Phil laughs breathily and Dan nods, smiling into Phil's neck. 

"Yeah... wow."

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"We've got a pretty great friendship."

Dan giggles at Phil, shaking his head as he kisses his soft neck gently. "Yeah. Yeah, we do."

"It's gonna be weird when we go back."

"Yeah... I know."

"But I mean... it wouldn't be the same there."

"No... probably not." Dan agrees, deciding to ignore the pang of sadness that shoots through him at Phil's words.

"I'm kinda enjoying it now, though. I mean... if we've gotta do it... might as well have fun, right?"

Dan's eyes widen at Phil's statement, pulling back enough to prop himself up and look Phil in the eyes. 

"...Right." he agrees after a moment, and when Phil shakes his head and chuckles, leaning in to kiss Dan, the brunette finds himself needy as he kisses back. Their tongues swirl and he can taste both of them and it's bitter and strange and conceptually disgusting, but something about it also makes Dan feel satisfied and completely, smiling and humming appreciatively into Phil's lips. When Phil starts humming 'Toxic' back, though, Dan pulls away and shoves him, returning to rest his head in the crook of Phil's neck.

"Dork."

"You love it."

"I know..." Dan whispers, deciding to hit the voice that's trying to return from the other side of the city back across the city and halfway around the world back to England with an imaginary tennis racket, allowing himself to not overthink his thoughts or feelings right now, and just enjoy this time pressed together with Phil, content in the fluffy sheets with the lingering buzz of the vodka making his heart beat strong in his chest as he falls asleep.

* * *

When Dan wakes up he looks down in horror at the shackles around his wrists before he immediately passes out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is against the 'feel' of this chapter, but posting this in light of the tragedy in Vegas today I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with all the families and those affected. I don't try to get political on here, but I really hope you all are careful out there and really think... this is OUR world that we're inheriting. Do we really want anybody to be able to go out and purchase something with so much capacity for destruction and killing? There's so much violence in the world right now, and if we want to make this a world we can be proud to live in, we need to be part of what changes it. Gun control is practically non existent (in the US) at the moment, and it's becoming clearer and clearer by the (more than once per day on average) shootings in this country that this is something that needs to be changed. I'm sorry to get political but I felt like I had to write something, especially writing a Vegas chapter on today of all days. Also, if any of you are wanting to find a way to help but can't donate money, donating blood is always so helpful to hospitals and can save lives.
> 
> ANYWAY sorry for the kinda depressing note, hope you're all safe and having a wonderful day, and I hope you liked the chapter/are liking this fic. <3 Every comment truly means the world to me and I'm so grateful to have you all supporting me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fic this segment is based off of is one of my own :)  
> It's called I Don't Own You  
> If you'd like to go read it..... http://archiveofourown.org/works/11194923/chapters/24999210 
> 
> This is also going to be a several-part segment of the story, so strap in, it's gonna be a long one! :D

Phil blinks awake slowly, eyes adjusting to the bright light beaming in through the window. He frowns as he takes in the room he's in. How long are he and Dan going to be stuck in these fics? Will they ever get back to reality?

He's certainly not back yet... the place around him looks... victorian. And royal. He's on a huge king sized bed with a thick embroidered duvet, a frame that reaches up to the ceiling and has bars raising from the bedposts, carved intricately with floral and animal designs. 

Looking around all of his furniture seems to be made of deep and dark reddish wood, carved carefully, with thick extravagant velvet cushions, a nice carpet, and more space than anyone could ever possibly need in a bedroom. 

Phil slowly gets out of bed, and his eyebrows raise as a woman, probably in her late forties, walks in and bows her head slightly, dressed in a simple beige outfit. 

"Master Phillip, are you ready to be dressed? Your ceremony starts in just under two hours, Sir."

Phil's eyes widen at the formality in the way the woman speaks to him, frowning and nodding eventually. He supposes it'll just be best to go with what people suggest until he gets a note or finds Dan. 

The woman moves once he's nodded his approval, going to his dresser and picking him out an outfit. When she walks up and quickly begins to undress him he has no time to protest, and is soon standing naked in front of this unknown woman, eyes wide in horror. She doesn't seem to mind at all, though, as she quickly gets him to step into a new pair of underwear and then slacks, a ruffled button up shirt and a suit jacket. She pulls out a pair of dress shoes that he slips into and frowns as she looks him over once, fixing his hair quickly.

"Alright, Master Phillip, your family is waiting in the dining room. Go meet them."

Phil nods and leaves the room carefully, finding himself in a hallway. Miraculously he doesn't get lost in this mansion, wandering through room after room, each looking like they belong in some sort of fairytale land. He finds the dining room after passing through a library, a lounge, a study, what seems like it could be a meeting room of sorts, and another hallway. 

"Good morning, Phillip. Take your seat, you're late. We'll have to eat quickly to get to the ceremony on time." a woman instructs, indicating a seat across from her. He sits and doesn't make eye contact with her or the man next to her, assuming that they're meant to be his parents. He digs into a plate of eggs and sausages that a man wearing a similar beige outfit to the woman before serves him, thanking him graciously.

"Phillip. You do not thank a blank." Phil's supposed mum scolds and Phil looks up, confused.

"What?"

"You do not thank a blank! You need to learn, Phillip. You'll have one of your own soon, if you're soft then they'll misbehave. You must teach blanks their place and never falter."

"Your mother is right, Phillip." Phil's 'father' chimes in. "Now finish your food, the ceremony starts soon." 

Phil looks down at his plate in confusion and his eyes widen as he sees a blue circle on the back of his hand. It's a light blue perfect circle creating a ring around the back of his hand and he furrows his brow before his 'dad' coughs and he gets back to eating quickly. Where the hell is he?

Once he's done eating they all go out to a carriage and Phil gets in, biting back his fear of the horses at the front of it. The woman and man dressed in beige get in with them, looking down at the ground, and Phil's eyebrows furrow when he sees that the woman has a circle on the back of her hand - a similar size to Phil's, but hers is pitch black and filled in. 

Phil sits back, confused, as the cart rolls down the dirt road and into a city. They approach a large building and walk in, guards allowing them passage as they step up wide marble steps to a huge open room with a podium. A man in a suit stands at the podium with a scroll in front of him as well as a bowl of blueish water. Behind him stands a large man holding a long cloth that is tied around the wrists of... Dan!

Phil almost doesn't recognize him at first. Dan is looking at the ground and his hair is long - curls cascading down his shoulders and back. Phil nearly giggles for a moment - thinking of years ago when Dan wore a curly brown wig and tricked strangers on omegle into thinking he was a girl for a video. He's quickly jerked back to the reality of the present, though, when the suit-man clears his throat and begins to speak, reading from the scroll.

"Phillip Michael Lester." Phil watches and then notices a cough from his mum and steps forward in surprise. "Today you are eighteen years old, and that means that today is the start of your new life. You will be reassigned to a new home to live with your blank. Until now you've been under the care of your parents and their blanks, but you are an adult now, and it is time for you to begin your own journey. Your blank has been pre-chosen by your family, and if there are any issues with it, you may file to be reassigned. This blank has gone through years of training since birth, and should serve you well." The man clears his throat and brings forward the bowl, wringing out a cloth in the blue liquid. "Phillip Michael Lester, please step forward." Phil does as he's told, stepping up the few stairs to the podium, and the man takes his hand with the blue circle and scrubs it vigorously. It doesn't smudge a bit and after a few moments he dries Phil's hand with another cloth and clears his throat once more.

"Phillip Michael Lester, I now present your blank. Someone to aid you at all times, help you in times of need, someone to do your every bidding." Phil's eyes widen as he sees Dan shuffle forward - dressed in ratty beige clothing - and suddenly everything makes sense. Dan has a black circle on the back of his hand. The man in the suit called him a blank. That's what Phil's parents were talking about this morning. Somehow - some way, he's in a fic where there's some sort of hierarchy and Dan is supposed to be his slave. A slave that, in this world, must be called a blank. 

Dan hasn't met his eyes, his young and soft features intently trained on the marble floor, feet shuffling nervously. 

"The cord of command." the man at the podium states, handing Phil an object that makes him shiver. 

It's a whip.

Phil cringes back at the sight, immediately terrified of what he might be forced to do in this universe, but he shoves it to the side. It's no use to worry about the future... so Phil takes the whip in shaking hands, coughing nervously. 

"The blank is now yours. Your family has moved your things, you may now go to your new residence. There is a carriage waiting out front." the man speaks and Phil nods numbly, the whip heavy in his hands. He's Phil. He can't hurt a fly. What's he supposed to do if...  _stop thinking about it, Phil. Just stop._

Phil nods and stands there for a moment before he sees the suit-man's eyes flick down to the cloth around Dan's wrists and back up to Phil. He jumps, realizing what he's supposed to be doing, and reaches down awkwardly to take hold of the cloth. Dan doesn't meet his eyes as he awkwardly leads the brunette out and to a carriage, sitting down and letting go of it, shoving the whip to the other side of the bench he's on. 

Just as Phil's opening his mouth to say something he stops, noticing a piece of paper fluttering down from the sky and snatching it, unfolding it quickly. 

_Phil brought his blank back to his new house. He made himself comfortable, reading a book and settling in. The boy stayed standing where Phil had left him. Eventually Phil asked for dinner to be made and the blank obliged, serving Phil a piping hot meal. Inside, Phil was terrified. He had no idea what he was doing. He was an adult now - an adult with no job and far too much money, a blank to do anything he needed for him, and absolutely no idea of what his purpose was._

Phil shudders, and when they pull up outside a new house he gets out, taking the whip back in his hand and the cloth attached to Dan in his other, leading his friend into the new house. 

When they get inside Phil immediately shuts the door and turns, quickly untying Dan's wrists. 

"Are you okay?" Phil asks and Dan looks up, fear and surprise clear in his features.

"Yes, Master. Of course I'm okay. What would you have me do?"

"I... um... Dan... do you remember anything? How this isn't real? How we're actually best friends and you have short hair and we live in London and..." Phil watches as Dan's eyes grow wider and wider and then everything flashes bright white and he's standing where he was fifteen seconds ago. Dan's ties are back on and he feels as if he's been shot back in time. Confusion spreading over him, Phil goes to re-untie the cloth, dropping it to the ground carefully. 

Dan immediately bends over and picks it up, walking briskly to a cabinet and opening it to find a small basket, putting the cloth in. He shuts the cabinet and returns to Phil's side, looking at the ground. 

"Master, what would you have me do?"

"Sorry?"

"What do you need, Master?"

"I... Um..." Phil blinks, suddenly realizing what must have just happened. The fic rejected him. He went against what it needed him to do - he tried to push it too far, and it brought him back. Dan must not be ready to realize who he is yet....

Phil realizes after a moment that he's staring and coughs, shaking his head. "Um... what should I call you?" he asks carefully, realizing that Dan hasn't introduced himself yet and knowing his name might be throwing something off.

"Master... blanks don't have names." Dan speaks slowly, as if he's confused but doesn't want to offend Phil by correcting him. 

"Sorry?"

"Blanks... we don't have names."

"Well how should I get your attention then?"

"I'll always be listening. And you can call me blank. I've also been called boy... or slave."

"I'm... I'm not gonna call you that. We'll find a name for you... okay?"

"If that's what you would like, Master." Dan agrees cautiously and Phil shakes his head, baffled by this universe.

"It is." Phil states carefully. "How about Dan?"

"You may call me whatever you wish, Master."

"I'll call you Dan."

"Alright."

"And please... don't call me Master." Phil adds, cringing internally at the sudden fear that this could take a BDSM turn at any moment now.

"Alright... Sir." Dan agrees carefully and Phil goes to correct him but then sighs, noticing the discomfort clear in Dan's posture and features even though he's clearly trying to mask it. 

"You may call me Phil... if you'd like."

"Okay... Phil... Sir." Dan speaks carefully, not making eye contact and twitching away every now and again as if he's expecting a slap. 

It makes Phil want to cry. 

"Alright... well... Dan... let's sit down." Phil decides, making his way to the sofa and patting the spot next to him. Dan looks at it hesitantly but eventually obliges, sitting beside Phil, carefully seated at the very edge of the cushion, as if he's ready to spring off at any moment. "You can relax, Dan. I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" Phil assures, and when Dan's eyes flit over to the table with the whip, Phil's own eyes go wide. 

Immediately he shoots off the couch and walks quickly to the whip, picking it up. When he looks around for a place to hide it out of sight, though, his eyes lock with Dan's and he can't help but shiver at the utter terror in the boy's wide eyes. 

"Master I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have been scared! I shouldn't have looked over. I'll take my punishment." 

Dan quickly stands up and gets down on all fours, pulling his shirt over his head and yanking his pants down to reveal his bum. 

Phil freezes. 

Dan's entire back and bum are covered in scars from lashes, lines littering the soft skin there, and Phil immediately feels tears well and begin to spill over onto his cheeks. He doesn't even realize he's dropped the whip until the sound of it hitting the ground shakes him out of his stupor and he's rushing to Dan, wanting to hug him, comfort him, do  _something._

Instead, he realizes immediately that what he's done was wrong. Dan's eyes go wide as Phil drops the whip and rushes to him and he squeezes them shut and then draws in a long, shaky breath. 

"Master, would you prefer to do this in the bedroom?" Dan asks in a voice that's clearly strained, and Phil's jaw drops.

"No! No, I-"

"Okay. Whatever you prefer, Master." Dan speaks quickly, shoving two fingers in his mouth and then thrusting them behind him, quickly making their way to his bum and pressing inside in one fluid motion, and Phil is left horrified and speechless.

"DAN! DAN, STOP!" he yelps out once he finds his voice and Dan freezes, terror clear in his expression as he slowly pulls his fingers out and wipes them on the shorts under his beige trousers, slowly resting back on his heels as he sits and looks at Phil, waiting in fear. 

"Dan..." Phil speaks slowly, trying to regain a calm and comforting voice, appalled by what he's just seen. "Dan... please put your clothes back on. I'm not going to hurt you... okay? I promise. I was only getting the... whip... to put it somewhere you don't have to see it. I promise... Dan I'll never use it."

Dan looks as if he's about to question Phil and doubt is clear all over his face but he seems to change his mind and pulls his pants back up, yanks his shirt back on, and stands awkwardly. 

"I'm sorry I didn't do what you wished, Master."

"That's alright... I'm going to get the whip now... okay? But I won't touch you with it. I'm just going to put it away."

"Whatever you desire, Master." 

Phil bites back tears as he grabs the whip and walks around Dan, leaving him a wide birth, and to the bedroom. He finds a clothing drawer and shoves it down and under all the clothes, hiding it away to hopefully never be seen nor touched again. 

Where is he? What god awful world is this and what on earth is he going to have to do?

Walking back out, Phil remembers that Dan is supposed to cook him dinner and mumbles something about being hungry. Dan rushes to the kitchen and Phil falls onto the couch, sobs immediately wracking his body. He can't get that image out of his mind. The utter fear Dan had in his eyes. And he wasn't afraid of just anything. He was afraid of  _Phil._

Now more than ever, Phil just wants to be back in the real world. He'd thought... for a few moments he'd actually thought he was enjoying these alternate realities. He's beginning to realize that he enjoys being with Dan a bit more than he should, possibly, but in these scenarios he has a full pass to act on those feelings to the extent of his desires... he'd actually found himself hoping that they'd go to another fic after the last one. Now Phil wants to take that wish back... he never wants to see that expression on Dan's face again. 

After about half an hour Dan comes from the kitchen with a plate of chicken, broccoli, and rice. Phil takes it and then looks at Dan, who's standing there with his hands clasped behind his back, eyes on the ground, and he frowns. "Dan... you can eat too. Make yourself a plate and come eat with me... please." 

Dan looks hesitant for a moment but then walks into the kitchen, returning with another plate. He sits awkwardly on the edge of the couch with the plate on the coffee table in front of them and begins to eat. Phil watches him and smiles as Dan's eyes go wide at the taste of the food, beginning to eat more hungrily. Dan looks scrawny and underfed, and Phil is determined that for however long they're in this world, he's going to help his friend. He doesn't care how long it takes for Dan to remember - Phil will take care of him. 

The two boys eat in silence and when they're done, Dan takes their dishes to the kitchen. Phil sighs and leans back against the couch, closing his eyes. What the hell is he supposed to do except just follow the story until Dan remembers and they get out of here? 

Eventually Dan returns and Phil gets up. "I think it's time for bed, alright?" he suggests and the brunette nods, his long locks bobbing. Phil walks into the bedroom with Dan following, and he raises his eyebrows when he sees the boy go to the dresser and pull out pyjamas for Phil. 

Phil's about to take them from him when Dan lays them out on the bed and walks up, taking the hem of Phil's shirt in his hands. Phil's eyes widen but he puts his hands over his head as Dan strips the shirt off him. He continues to undress Phil down to his boxers and then re-dresses him in his pyjamas, Phil silent and wondering the whole time. 

Not once did Dan's skin touch Phil's. That must be some sort of magic... how did he do that?

Phil thanks Dan softly and walks to the bathroom, brushing his teeth. He returns to the bedroom and lays down, and Dan clicks off the light. He can still see a bit, the window is open and moonlight is streaming into the huge, lavish bedroom, and his eyebrows furrow as he sees Dan walk over to a small and obviously hard mattress on the floor, laying down on his back and staring up at the ceiling. 

"Dan?" Phil's voice cuts through the silent air like a knife.

"Yes, Master?"

"You can sleep in my bed."

"...Yes, Master." Dan agrees, slowly climbing into the bed. Phil turns to look at him and frowns when he sees Dan's face stony cold, devoid of any emotion. He's about to speak when Dan scoots closer under the duvet and pulls Phil against him, connecting his lips to Phil's neck, kissing and licking but not sucking at all... no marks would be left. Dan's hand comes up and cups at Phil through his thin pyjama bottoms and Phil pulls away quickly, putting a hand between them to keep Dan off of him.

"Dan... Dan what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry... you invited me to your bed, Master. Did I do something wrong?"

Phil's heart aches as Dan's meaning sinks in, realizing just how damaged this boy is. "Dan... I just meant you could sleep here. You don't... you don't have to... do anything else." he speaks carefully and Dan looks confused but nods, moving a bit away and laying his head on the pillow carefully. 

"Goodnight, Master."

"Night, Dan." Phil breathes, and it's all he can do not to pull Dan close and whisper all the things about their friendship to try to remind him, but he stays strong and bites back his tears as he slowly drifts into sleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 'I Don't Own You' section - Read original fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11194923/chapters/24999210

Phil wakes up to the sound of the door creaking and looks up to where light is flooding the room, a frightened Dan frozen with wide eyes as he stares back at Phil. 

"Good morning." Phil mumbles, his voice coming out thick with sleep and Dan quickly shuts the door behind him, standing up straight and looking past Phil at the wall.

"Good morning, Master. Would you like some coffee as you wake up?"

Phil's heart drops at Dan's use of the word 'Master', but he sighs and allows himself to smile at the thought of coffee. 

"Sure, Dan. That'd be wonderful." Dan nods and turns, about to leave, before Phil stops him. "And Dan?" the boy turns around and looks at him with wide eyes. "Please stop calling me Master."

"Right... Sir. I'm sorry I forgot."

"That's alright."

Dan nods a bit awkwardly and stalls in the doorway as if he's waiting to see if Phil has anything else to say before he slinks off into the kitchen to get the coffee started. 

Phil sighs before he gathers his energy and sits up, making his way to his dresser. He gets dressed in simple dark pants and a shirt, putting on some slippers as a last minute thought before padding to the kitchen. 

"Sir!" Dan gasps as he sees Phil walk in, horror clear in his expression. "You didn't have to dress yourself! I am so sorry, please forgive me I should have asked if you wanted to be changed before I made you your coffee. I apologize." Dan looks down ashamedly at the mug in his hand and Phil walks up. His instinct is to put his hand on Dan's shoulder to comfort him but decides at the last moment that action like that might scare the boy so he stops himself, just giving Dan a small reassuring smile instead. 

"It's alright, Dan. I don't mind."

"...Okay." Dan agrees reluctantly, though he still looks guilty. "Do you take cream and sugar?"

"Yes! Lots of it." Phil smiles and Dan nods, going to grab the pitcher of creamer in their stocked kitchen. Phil frowns when he notices only one mug - being used to Dan putting cream and sugar for both of them in each mug just the way they like it. "Dan... where's yours?"

"Mine?" Dan asks in confusion, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Your coffee."

"Sir... I don't get such luxuries. I don't drink coffee."

"Yes you do!" Phil nearly laughs at the statement before coughing, remembering where he is. "I mean. Um... you can here. Make yourself a cup, alright?" he asks and Dan nods hesitantly before getting out a second mug. 

"If that's what will make you happy."

"It is." Phil confirms and Dan nods hesitantly before pouring himself a cup and putting the cream and sugar in both. Phil knows that Dan likes a tad more creamer in his coffee than the boy put in his but decides not to comment on it - not yet at least. 

Just as they're walking to the sofa Phil snatches a note out of the air, reading it quickly.

_Phil got out a book and began reading. Dan sat there and Phil looked up, suddenly realizing the boy had nothing to do. He offered for Dan to read any of his books but Dan refused shyly. When Phil asked why, he learned that Dan didn't know how to read. Saddened by this thought, Phil got out a book and began to read to Dan, smiling at the wonder he saw spread across the boy's face. They sat like that all day - only taking short breaks for meals. Phil began to teach Dan how to learn and Dan was such an attentive and excited student - though he did his best to mask his emotions. Phil couldn't stop staring at the boy as he tried to make out words from the pages - his features were so soft and when he focused the mask he always had on stripped away. He was beautiful, and Phil just wanted to reach up and brush his long hair behind his ear, admiring the gentle curve of his jawline as Dan bit his lip, trying to make out a word in the fairytale Phil was teaching him how to read._

Phil smiles as he reads the note, sitting down and taking a sip of his coffee. 

"Dan, you can come sit on the couch."

"Are you sure, Master?" Dan asks, awkwardly standing next to the couch with his coffee and Phil nods, scooting over a bit to make sure there's room for the boy. At this Dan makes his way to the couch and sits down - a bit formally, but at least he's off his feet. Phil smiles and reaches over to a nearby bookshelf, pulling down a collection of fairytales. 

"Hey, Dan... if you get bored you're always welcome to any of my books." Phil offers with a smile, trying to stick to what the fic is telling him to do.

"Oh... Sir, I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I... I'm not allowed to do things for my own pleasure. I'm here to serve you, Sir."

"But Dan... it'd make me happy if you were happy."

"I... I just can't, Sir. I..." Dan bites his lip, looking away in shame. "I cannot read, Sir."

"Oh!" Phil exclaims, trying his best to act like he didn't already know that. "Well then I'll teach you!" 

"Sir?" Dan looks up, shock apparent in his features.

"I'll teach you. Come over here so you can see." Phil gestures for Dan to sit closer and the brunette hesitates before setting down his coffee and scooting close. 

As Dan gets closer Phil smiles, warmth flooding through him. Somehow, even in this crazy universe, Dan still smells like Dan, and it helps Phil feel a little more connected to reality - a little closer to home when he's all alone in this foreign world. 

"Alright... do you know the alphabet?" Phil asks, and when Dan says 'Only a bit', Phil smiles as he settles in for his task for the day.

They make their way through the alphabet and Dan begins to work on sounding out words. He's a fast learner and Phil finds himself getting lost in staring at him, admiring the concentration on his friend's young face. Suddenly he remembers he's supposed to be doing something for the fic... but then he realizes. He's already there. Blushing softly Phil bites his lip, looking at the way Dan's hair is falling in his face, and he doesn't care that the fic didn't tell him to do it. He reaches up gently and just before he's about to move the hair he clears his throat, pulling his hand back a few inches. 

Dan looks up in confusion and Phil blushes harder, his heart beginning to race with nerves that he has no way of explaining. "Um... Dan... could I touch your hair?" he asks gently and Dan frowns before nodding. 

"Of course, Sir... I am yours. You can do whatever you'd like to me."

"Dan... I mean... would you dislike it if I touched your hair?" Phil tries to rephrase and Dan frowns, looking down and thinking for a bit.

"Sir... what I like or don't like shouldn't matter to you."

"Well it does. I don't like doing things if they make other people feel bad." Phil insists and Dan bites his lip, seeming to think this over.

"Well... I've never heard of that before... but you touching my hair won't bother me. You do not need to ask, Sir." Dan says, still clearly confused.

"I'll continue to ask." Phil promises as he gingerly reaches up and tucks Dan's hair behind his ear, moving his hand down to rest it on Dan's shoulder for a second. They stare at each other for a few moments before Dan looks down shyly, coughing gently. Phil brings his hand back and looks down too - embarrassed for some reason. 

Dan continues to read and eventually Phil looks back up, smiling as he sees the little rosy patch right over the freckle on Dan's cheek. It only appears when Dan's nervous or embarrassed... and Phil can't help but think that it's adorable. 

The boys eventually wash up and make their way to Phil's room, Dan dressing Phil despite Phil's weak attempts to argue. Truly he kind of enjoys this... he doesn't allow himself to think too hard about what enjoying Dan undressing him might mean... but he lets himself soak up the moment without thinking too hard. 

Phil slips into bed and when Dan makes his way to the tiny mattress on the floor he sits up immediately. 

"Dan."

"Yes, Sir?"

"When I invited you to sleep in my bed last night... that wasn't just for last night. You can sleep here every night... as long as you'd like."

"Are you sure, Sir?" Dan asks hesitantly, raising his eyebrows at Phil. 

"Of course. And... I'm not asking you to do anything for me either. Just like last night. You can just sleep here... alright?"

"Okay..." Dan agrees slowly, crawling into the bed. Phil smiles as he settles down, looking across at Dan's face, admiring the shadows the moonlight casts over his soft features. 

Dan falls asleep quickly, and when a note flutters down and Phil snatches it he sighs, realizing that tomorrow's going to be a long and hard day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the slightly shorter chapter - I'm super busy and it was either not being able to upload for a few days or upload a shorter chapter and continue this fic later. And you know I don't like to go long without uploading. So here's this, and look forward to part 3 of this segment as soon as I can write it! :D Thank you all for reading <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation based off of my fic, I Don't Own You, link here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11194923/chapters/24999210
> 
> So sorry I'm so busy lately and can't upload as often :( Thank you guys for sticking with me <3

"Alright, Dan, my family is coming for dinner tonight." Phil informs the boy as they wake, morning light streaming in through the window. His lip is raw, worried between his teeth from the nervous biting he keeps finding himself doing whenever he thinks about the family's visit written in the note he'd plucked from the air.

"Yes, Sir." Dan responds, getting out of bed and straightening his clothing, standing up straight. Phil looks at him and frowns, observing the drab clothing and long, tangled hair.

"Dan... we're going to cut your hair today." Phil decides and Dan's eyes go wide, then return to normal.

"Yes, Sir."

Phil gets out of bed and immediately Dan is undressing him until he is bare, then redressing him in simple house clothes. Phil thanks him, and directs them into the bathroom. Soon he's stood behind the brunette with a pair of scissors, contemplating how on earth he could make this look presentable in any way. With a sigh, he decides to just go for it and starts snipping. Soon there are long, tangled locks scattering the floor and Dan's beginning to look almost back to normal. Phil takes his time carefully clipping away, until finally Dan's hair is somewhat resembling his usual style again, and Phil sighs in relief. He feels one step closer to having his friend back, and one step out of this hellish world. 

Finally, once he's satisfied, he turns Dan towards the mirror and smiles hopefully over the boy's shoulder. Dan's eyes go wide and he raises his hand to his face, lips parting in surprise as he looks in shock at the transformed boy in front of him.

"How do you like it?" Phil prompts, and Dan smiles, letting out a breath.

"I like it. A lot. Thank you, Sir."

"Really... Dan you can call me Phil."

"Alright... thank you... Phil." 

Phil smiles at Dan in the mirror and Dan smiles back, and for just a moment it's as if they're back to normal. That changes, though, when Dan shoos Phil from the room so he can clean up the hair, and then races to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Phil insists that Dan makes his own serving, and soon they're sitting down to eat, and Phil's gotten his next note. All he knows is that he has to ask Dan about his past, and suddenly Phil's heart is pounding, terror bubbling up in his stomach. 

"So... Dan... tell me about yourself." he requests lamely, biting his lip in nervous anticipation.

"About myself?"

"You know... your life..." Phil cringes at the awkwardness in his own tone.

"Oh. Um... I grew up in the system. I was trained by an elderly woman. She taught me household duties, etiquette, and speech. Then I was assigned to you." Dan speaks carefully, and Phil frowns.

"What was she like?"

"She... was a good trainer." It doesn't pass Phil by that Dan's eyes have suddenly gone dark and he's no longer eating, staring down at the table and intentionally not meeting Phil's worried gaze. "She was strict, and made sure I learned. She taught me... everything. Everything I might have to do to serve... and to  _please_ my Master."

Phil's mouth goes dry at the implications of Dan's words and suddenly he wants to cry and wrap his friend in his arms and go back to real life. He doesn't want to be here anymore. Why the hell do they have to be here? What sick, twisted thing is happening that is making them go through this torture? Suddenly Phil is crying and Dan's head jerks up in surprise at the sobs that Phil can't seem to hold in, barking out of him as he puts his plate down and hugs his stomach, his body shaking with the force of the sudden breakdown.

"Sir... Sir, are you alright?" Dan asks, clearly unsure of how to deal with this situation.

"I... Dan... Dan I'm so sorry." Phil gasps out, choking between his words. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I..." he wants to be honest. He wants to talk to his  _friend_ , but he knows he can't. He knows that right now this timid, broken boy is all he has, and he draws in a deep breath as he tries to think of how to help this boy begin to heal. "You know I'd never do that, right? Dan... you're safe here. I want to be your friend. I want you to trust me, and trust that that will never,  _ever_ happen to you again." Phil promises and Dan looks up with wide eyes, fear shining through his expression clear as day.

"I... I'll try, Sir. Thank you." Dan stammers eventually, clearly unequipped to deal with such an honest and friendly announcement from a 'Master'. 

Phil nods, and he can't hold himself back as he breaks and practically launches at Dan, wrapping the boy in his arms and hugging tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. Dan jumps a bit and then freezes, then ever so slowly wraps his arms back around Phil hesitantly, rubbing gentle lines up and down the crying boy's back. Phil inhales sharply, comforted by Dan's warm and familiar smell, pressing his nose into Dan's shoulder as deep as it'll go, relishing in the moment while he's allowed to be close to him again. 

Eventually, once the sobs are subsiding and Phil finally works up the energy and willpower to gently pull away from Dan's grasp, he sees a small slip of paper fluttering down.

_Phil announced that he needed to take a bath, and soon Dan had him in the tub and was slowly massaging soap into Phil's skin, traveling his body and making sure every bit of him got clean. Phil relaxed against the cool porcelain and soaked up the sensation of hands gently rubbing and grazing over his skin._

Phil draws in a deep breath, eyes going a bit wide. Sure, in the other worlds they've been in they've done a lot, but it still never feels normal. The idea of Dan running his hands all over Phil's naked body - bathing him and sudsing him up with slippery soap... something about it feels almost overwhelming, and Phil gulps before he lets go of the note and clears his throat, Dan's head popping up to listen to whatever Phil's about to say.

"Dan... I need to take a bath before my family arrives."

"Yes, Sir. I'll go draw one straight away."

Phil relaxes back against the couch, trying to keep his breathing and heart rate steady at what he knows is coming, watching as Dan disappears into the bathroom and water begins to run, and then he moves to Phil's room, a few minutes later carrying a nice, clean outfit into the bathroom that Phil will change into for the dinner with his parents. 

Phil's not successful at all at trying to calm himself - instead, thinking about what's to come, Phil's only worked himself up more. Something inside him is tingling and twitching with excitement... but why is he excited? This should be a chore - something awkward that they  _have_ to do to get out of here. Why is he looking forward to it? 

When Dan comes to get him and leads him to the bathroom, Phil clasps his hands together and feels just how sweaty his palms are. He rubs them off on his trousers, but soon those same trousers are gone when Dan closes the door behind them and then undresses Phil. He's careful not to touch a single part of his skin - and Phil almost laughs, because he knows that in just a few moments Dan's hands will be all over him. 

Dan holds out a hand and Phil takes it, hoping that Dan can't feel how sweaty his palms are, using the connection as support as he climbs into the deep porcelain tub and then lays down, stretching out and sighing at the feeling of the warm water surrounding him. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to relax, and when he opens them he nearly jumps as he sees Dan propped and bent over the tub, gesturing down towards the water. Phil is confused for a moment before he realizes what Dan wants and lifts a leg into the air, Dan's hands quickly grasping his ankle and holding his calf and foot above the water line. 

Dan's hands are full of soap and soon he's massaging the slippery soap all over Phil's calf. His hands work over the rough and curly hair on his legs, and they're slow and gentle, working at the muscles to relax Phil as well as working the soap into his skin. Eventually he moves to Phil's foot, and he instinctively jerks his leg back when Dan's thumbs find the bottom of his foot, yelping. 

"I'm sorry, Sir, did I do something wrong?" Dan asks, fear in his eyes. 

"No!" Phil is quick to reassure. "No, I'm just ticklish! Sorry. I'll be ready this time." Phil extends his leg back out and Dan nods after a moment, this time extremely careful with the bottom of Phil's foot. He gets over the ticklish sensation quickly, though, and soon Dan's giving him the best foot massage of his life and he surprises both of them when he lets his head drop back against the tub and moans. He snaps his head back up to look at Dan, but the boy's gaze is intently trained on his foot. Phil thinks that maybe - just maybe - he might see a hint of a smile on those lips, though, and that tiny expression gives him more hope than he's had in days, finally seeing a piece of  _his_ Dan coming through.

Soon Dan has finished with that side and moves to the other, then to Phil's shoulders and arms. Phil sits up in the tub and watches Dan's face as he massages over Phil's shoulders and down his arms to his hands and fingers, working at each of them separately and gently rolling the digits between the pads of his fingers. Phil never knew you could massage someone's fingers, but Dan's hands worked magic and he was melting. His skin is also collecting goosebumps even though he was mostly submerged in warm water - the feeling of Dan's hands all over him making him shiver for a reason he isn't quite ready to deal with yet. 

Dan shifts to Phil's chest and neck, rubbing tiny circles of soap into his skin as he covers Phil in the slippery substance, tiny bubbles forming all over him wherever Dan's hands go. _It's like Dan's hands are a huge snail_ , he thinks.  _But instead of leaving behind a trail of slime, they leave behind beautiful bubbles._

Dan works into the divots of Phil's collarbone, over the sharp protrusion of his adam's apple, and then down to his chest, and Phil jumps a bit when Dan's fingers circle lightly over his nipples, but he quickly relaxes, ignoring the shudder that ran through him at the touch. Dan moves to his back, and then stands up and clears his throat, gesturing for Phil to stand to. 

He does, nervously, but quickly Dan's hands are back on him, massaging his belly, his sides, his hips, his lower back. The circles being rubbed into his body are making him relax and tense all at once, and suddenly Phil feels himself holding back a dull heat that's rising in him, because if he lets that show right now, there'll be no way to hide it. 

Once Dan's covered Phil's torso, he moves down to his thighs. He wraps his hands around them above the knee and moves his hands in circles, as if he's wringing out Phil's thigh. At first it's fine - nice, even, but then Dan's hands begin traveling up, and it's getting a bit  _too_ nice. Phil bites his lip and holds himself still to try to keep from shivering as Dan's hands tease up and down his thighs, rubbing slippery soap into them and massaging at just the right spots on the inner thighs, so high up that it's taking everything Phil has to keep himself from showing his growing arousal. 

He nearly squeals, but manages to catch it in his throat when Dan's hands move up from his thighs and cup his bum, rubbing circles into it and then squeezing, massaging the planes of muscle there, and Phil is staring straight forward because this is all  _too much_ , and why on earth is he enjoying this? He nearly sighs with relief when Dan's hands leave him, and he lowers back into the tub, allowing the soap to run off of him. Dan's hands are soon full of shampoo, though, and suddenly Phil's scalp is getting a moan-worthy massage, and he's not able to hold this one back. Dan's hands work through his hair and then use a cup to wash over his hair and rinse the shampoo out. Conditioner soon follows, and Phil's eyelids and lips are relaxed, feeling as if he's drifting into a realm of ecstasy where Dan's hands are all over him and relax him but wake him at the same time, and it's all he's ever desired without even knowing it. 

Soon, though, Dan's helping Phil out of the bath and drying him off, and then helping him into his clothes. Phil's just glad he was somehow able to hide his arousal from Dan - at least in the obvious sense. He's sure Dan couldn't have missed the constant blush staining his cheeks, neck, and chest throughout the entire process. Maybe he'd think it was due to the heat, though. One can only hope. 

The family visit is awful.

Dan cooks a huge meal for all of them and not once do his parents say 'thank you'. Dan insists that he stands with Phil's parents' blanks, looking straight forward, ready for instruction. Phil has been told he can't call Dan by his name and must call him 'blank' in front of his parents, and he does so, but it makes him wince each time. His parents ask him about marriage and when he says he has no prospects yet, they ask to ensure that he's getting pleasure out of his blank. When he says no, they lecture him on why he's wrong and he should be taking advantage of the opportunity he has, that his 'blank' is here to please, and he should use that. Phil tries his best to get out of the conversation, but only lands himself in a worse one.

His mum asks about the 'cord of command', and it takes him a second to remember the whip. He says it's in another room, and both his parents' eyes widen in shock. They make him fetch it, telling him he must have it with him at all times. They nearly make him beat Dan then and there, and Phil can feel tears behind his eyes as he tries to get out of it, seeing the blank and emotionless expression on Dan's stony features. Thankfully in the end he's able to get out of it. His parents accuse him of being soft - of not asserting his power, and making too gentle a connection with his blank. When they leave, Phil feels his entire body relax and he nearly throws the whip out of his hands and onto the floor. 

"Dan... I'm so sorry. They were awful, I'm-"

"They were right."

Phil's gaze shoots up to Dan, eyes wide as he takes in the boy, jaw clenched, features still stone cold as he looks straight forward into the distance, at a ready position.

"What?"

"They were right. You don't treat me as you should. I should never have allowed you to be so lenient with me. I'll take my punishment now." Dan speaks carefully, before lowering onto his hands and knees and pulling up his shirt, revealing his scars. 

"Dan! No!" Phil yelps, but Dan shakes his head.

"Do not call me that. I'm a blank. A nobody. A slave. You should not have given me a name. I have been bad - I have allowed you to be soft on me - I will accept my punishment. Please, Master." Phil can hear the waver in Dan's voice, and it breaks his heart. 

"Dan... no! I'm not going to hurt you! You've done nothing wrong, you've only done what I've asked you to! I want you to be my friend!"

"I'm not here to be a friend. I'm here to be your slave. I've allowed you to treat me as a friend, and I shouldn't have. I'll take my punishment."

"Dan... I can't!"

"Hurt me!"

"No! Get up!"

"I can't. You must punish me."

"I can't!" 

"Then use me!" Dan tugs his pants down and Phil recoils, terrified of the boy on the ground. "Use me for what I'm here for! Treat me as what I am, it's what you  _should_ be doing!"

Phil takes a deep breath, collecting himself, before he speaks, his voice ringing out clear.

"Dan, this is an order from your Master. Get up and put your clothes on. I will call you Dan, because it is your name and in this house people have names. In this house, everyone is treated as a  _person._ You are no longer going to call me 'Master' or 'Sir', you'll call me 'Phil'. You will listen to me when I say I am not going to use you. You will think individually, and speak up if you disagree with me. You will do things for your own pleasure, and take care of yourself. And if you  _want_ , you will be my friend." Phil gazes at Dan intently, and slowly Dan gets up off the floor, redressing himself.

"I'm sorry, Ma.... Phil. I've just.... I've never been treated this way." Dan admits, looking down.

"Dan..." Phil whispers, and with one step he's reached Dan and has him in his arms, squeezing tightly. After a moment he pulls away and takes Dan's hand - the one with the black circle on it, and holds it up. "Dan, you see this? This is just a circle. It doesn't make you any less than me. Any less  _human._ It's just a circle."

"I... I don't know how to be what you want me to be." Dan admits, and Phil's heart breaks when he hears the tremor in the boy's voice.

"That's okay. You'll learn. We both will... okay?"

Dan begins to nod, but soon there are tears falling and Phil pulls him back into his arms as sobs begin to rack Dan's body.

"I'm... I'm... sorry... I.... shouldn't... cry." Dan chokes out and Phil shakes his head, shushing Dan as he rubs the back of his head.

"No, no no... it's okay. It's alright to cry. I'm here, okay?"

Dan sobs for a few more moments before nodding hard into Phil's shoulder, hugging him tighter.

"Okay."

* * *

 

The next few days are a transition. It takes Dan some time to get used to it, but slowly he is, and Phil couldn't be more relieved. Now Dan calls him 'Phil' on the first try. He talks just for the sake of talking, and even expresses a few opinions and makes two jokes, which he immediately blushes at, but Phil reassures him that they were good, and Dan smiles. 

The best part? Dan begins to call him his friend.

This does have to stop, though, when they go to the market together and have to act 'normal', Phil having to call Dan 'blank' again, and act haughty and obnoxious. Soon they're home, though, and giggling when Phil suggests having a salad with dinner, and Dan says "Sure! I don't carrot all!" It's an awful pun, but it's a piece of Dan back, and Phil couldn't be happier. 

This continues for a few days, Dan beginning to 'teach' Phil how to cook. Obviously Phil already knows the basics, but it was in the fic, so they have to do it anyways. Phil smiles when Dan comes up behind him and wraps his arms around Phil to grab his hands and lead them where they're supposed to go. Dan's getting better at reading, too, and each night they read to each other before collapsing down in bed and sighing, staring at the ceiling. 

The day things fall apart is the day Phil gets the note that terrifies and excites him all at once. But mostly it gives him hope -  _finally_ the romance is starting, so hopefully that means the fic will be drawing to a close soon and they can leave. Because today they're going to kiss while Phil's in the tub, and it's gonna end in a way that certainly won't leave him unsatisfied.

The bath is nice - Dan sudsing him up and working the soap into his skin. Phil relaxes and hums when Dan gets just the right spot and works out a knot in his neck or back. When Dan moves to his hand, Phil hasn't even thought before he laces his fingers with Dan's. He glances up once he realizes, shocked when he sees Dan only a few inches away.  _Now's the time._ He looks up at Dan and licks his lips, feeling Dan's breath on his face. He pulls a bit on Dan's hand, inching him closer until they're nose to nose, and he glances down at the brunette's lips, admiring the soft curves. 

"Can I?" he whispers, and when Dan nods it's all he needs before their lips are connected, moving gently against each other, but with all the heat in the world. Their tongues lap at each other and Phil moans as Dan's hand comes to his neck, pulling him into the kiss. When the hand on his neck starts moving down his chest and towards his crotch Phil kisses harder, moaning into Dan's lips as he feels a hand wrap around him, beginning to pump hard. The water is splashing everywhere and Phil feels droplets landing on his face as he squeezes his eyes shut and melts into the sensation of Dan's lips, his hand, his everything. 

It doesn't take long before Phil's coming, the white liquid spurting out of him as he relaxes into the tub, a few more drops landing on his face. When he opens his eyes, though, his heart drops out of his body. 

The drops... they hadn't been from the bath. 

Dan's eyes are wet and dripping with tears, and when Phil sees them Dan pulls away quickly, apologizing as he runs from the room, leaving Phil to scramble out of the bath and redress, horrified at himself. 

_What has he done?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of my own fic, I Don't Own You, link here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11194923/chapters/24999210

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INTENSE spoilers at the end... if you're interested in reading the original fic I'd go do that now so the ending isn't ruined for you!

Running from the room, his clothes messily pulled up around him, Phil stops in his tracks when he finds Dan in the corner of the study, curled in a ball as he rocks back and forth, sobs making his whole body shake. 

"Dan..." Phil whispers, the word leaving him in a pained breath. Dan looks up slowly, tears streaming down his face, and wipes them dry, shaking his head and standing up. He straightens his clothes and looks at the ground, lips trembling.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I shouldn't cry."

"Dan... no..." Phil breathes, taking a step closer, but stopping when he sees the brunette flinch. "I... I am so sorry, Dan. I didn't mean to... I wasn't thinking. I'm so, so sorry." When the piece of paper flutters from the ceiling Phil nearly hits it aside, not wanting to deal with anything but apologizing for what he'd done, but he thinks better and snatches it, reading quickly.

Soon Phil knows that he has to apologize (as he's already been doing), and confess to Dan that he has feelings for him and that's why he tried something, not because he wanted to use him. Sighing, Phil drops the note and takes a deep breath. 

"Dan... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to use you."

"You should not apologize. I am here for you to use however you'd like. You did nothing wrong."

"But I did! We agreed - you're not my slave - you're my friend! And I promised I'd never use you like that, and I'm so, so sorry... I didn't mean to."

Dan takes a deep breath, raising a hand to wipe some tears, and Phil stares forward, wide eyed and helpless as Dan bites his lip and finally looks up, meeting his gaze. 

"Well then why did you?"

The question nearly breaks Phil. 

Suddenly his own sobs are breaking through his lips and tears are streaming and all he wants is to hug Dan - the real Dan -  _his_ Dan - but he can't. So he wraps his arms around his stomach and cries, shaking his head. 

"Dan... Dan I didn't mean to use you. When I asked you if I could kiss you... I realize now how stupid that was. Of course you wouldn't say no. But I meant it... I meant to ask if that was what you wanted too. Because I wanted it... not because I wanted to use you. Not because I wanted you to make me feel good or satisfy any perverted fantasy. I wanted to kiss you... because I like you, Dan. But I like you in the way that will only be fulfilled if you like me too." Dan's eyes are confused and conflicted now, tears still welling as he stares at Phil, head cocked a bit to the side. 

"You... like me?" Dan asks, his voice wavering. 

"Yes. Yes, I do. But I know that I made a mistake, and I'm so,  _so_ sorry." 

Dan pauses for a while, looking over Phil, before he finally draws in a breath. "You're forgiven."

Phil feels like he could melt from the relief that floods over him, and then he nearly does when Dan moves forward and wraps his arms around him and they're hugging and Phil feels all his muscles let go as they sob into each other's shoulders, hugging tight. Finally they break apart and go to the bedroom in silence, slipping under the covers.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Phil asks in a whisper as they lay next to each other, looking up at the ceiling. After his question has hung in the air for a few seconds, he looks over to see Dan frowning, seeming to mull over something in his thoughts. Phil nearly freezes when Dan suddenly shoots to his side and wraps around Phil, holding onto him like a koala to a tree.

"Not tonight... thank you."

"Alright. Goodnight, Dan."

"Night, Phil."

The next morning is slow and difficult. Phil can't stop berating himself in his mind for what he did to Dan, and Dan is quiet as he cooks them breakfast. They sit down to eat their pancakes, and nothing is  _wrong_ , but it certainly isn't right. 

They move on to cleaning and reading, and eventually lunch is served and Phil needs to break the deafening silence. 

"Dan?"

"Yeah?" the boy asks as they sit down with their sandwiches on the sofa. 

"I think we should talk about yesterday." Phil watches as conflicting emotions cross Dan's face before he finally straightens his spine and takes a breath, collecting himself.

"Phil... you're different. I've never been trained to work for someone like you, and sometimes I feel lost. You want me to be my own person... be myself... but I don't even know who that is. I've never been allowed to be my own person, and I appreciate so much that you want me to be, but I need some time and patience. It's hard for me. About... yesterday... I've been used by many people. My old trainer saw my weakness in pleasing masters, so she would invite over groups of people and I would have to service all of them. She thought eventually I'd lose that fear that they could see when they asked of me what they wanted... but it never worked. I tried... I tried so hard not to feel... or if I did, at least not to show it... but I couldn't. Not always. I suppose... I suppose when I was assigned to you I was confused. I expected you to be like the people I'd worked for before. I'd expected you to treat me like a slave, to use me. When you didn't... I guess I almost wanted you to... just so I wouldn't have to live in fear of when it'd happen. I was so sure that you were just waiting - that it was all just an act to get me to trust you until my guard was at its lowest. But Phil... yesterday... I really thought that was that moment." Phil can feel his heartstrings ripping and tearing at Dan's confession, hating himself for doing this to this boy. 

"But then what you said yesterday... was it true? That you wanted me... not just for physical pleasure?" Phil nods his head, not trusting his voice. "You see... I never thought that anyone could think of me that way. That anyone would ever feel those feelings for me. Blanks... we don't get romance. We don't get happy endings, we don't get love. We're conditioned from a young age to view romance as dangerous. Feelings in general are dangerous - so we never pursue any sort of romantic relationship. With anyone. Ever. I'm sorry that when you told me how you felt I didn't know how to react... I suppose... that part of me just doesn't exist yet. It's just not there... I don't know if it ever can be. And I want... I want  _so badly_ to be able to be what you want - to be my own person, to think my own thoughts and feel my own feelings, but I'm terrified. I'm terrified that one day you'll change your mind and everything I never thought I'd get to do will be given to me only to be ripped away and I'll be left even more broken than I already am. Or if not you, then your family. That they'll come and we won't be able to keep up appearances, and suddenly I'll be... I'll be... Taken." 

Phil didn't know what 'Taken' meant, but it certainly didn't sound good. 

"Dan... I understand. And I don't expect anything of you. You can take all the time you need, I'll just be here to help you along the way. And so far as romance goes... once again, I have no expectations. I just want you to be happy, okay? All I could ask is for you to just try to do things for yourself, and if that's ever hard for you and you feel you're being too selfish, just remember that it's making me happy. Do you think you can do that?"

Both boys stare each other in the eyes for a long time before the smallest of smiles tugs up on one corner of Dan's lips and he nods. 

"Yeah... Yeah, I think I can."

* * *

The next day almost feels normal. 

They wake up together in bed and sit there talking for nearly an hour before they finally get up. They make breakfast together, and it only takes Phil a  _tiny_ bit of convincing to let him help. They eat and joke about Phil's lack of skill in the kitchen, and then Phil helps clean up. They read to each other and Phil keeps finding himself getting lost staring at Dan. He gets caught a few times, but it's almost worth it when he sees the shy smile and tiny blush that creeps up Dan's cheeks. 

Near the end of the day Phil feels like he is floating - though in the back of his mind he's getting more and more worried as to why the real Dan isn't 'waking up' in this fic. 

He receives a note as it began getting dark that they'd be going on a nighttime picnic. The idea sounds silly to him, but when he finds himself lying on his back staring at the stars next to Dan, suddenly he feels he understands. 

Dan tells him a story of how he used to stare at the stars through a hole in the roof of the barn he'd sleep in. How the knowledge that the universe is so vast actually helped him through his training - somehow knowing that he's insignificant in the grand scheme of things helping him to ignore his pain. Phil thinks it's dark... but it's also very Dan. 

They joke and eat and talk about stars and the universe, and before Phil knows it he's on his side, staring at Dan who's mirrored his position, just inches away. Dan's hand comes up and cups his cheek and he begins to lean in, and everything in Phil is telling him to kiss the brunette in front of him, but at the last minute he pulls away.

"Dan... no... I'm sorry... I just..."

"I thought this was what you wanted?" Dan asks, confusion clear in his eyes.

"It is... just... not now. I don't want to take advantage of you, Dan. And what you said yesterday... I think you need to take some time to figure out how you feel. If and when this happens... I want you to be sure. I want you to want it." Phil whispers, and Dan stares at him for a few seconds before nodding. 

Phil smiles, and soon Dan's scooted in and is curling around him, wrapping his arms around Phil's neck, nuzzling his face into his shoulder.

"Thank you, Phil." Dan whispers, and Phil smiles, burying his face in Dan's hair and pressing a soft kiss there.

They make their way inside eventually, and Dan resumes his earlier position, falling asleep quickly. Phil can't shut his brain off so easily, though.

What the hell is this world? Why do these marks dictate everything about a person? Where did they come from? Who decided what they meant?

Eventually he can't take the thoughts racing through his brain unanswered, and he slips out of the bed, moving to the library in the house (yes, he's so rich he has a library, this is ridiculous), and begins combing through books. By the time the sun has risen, his eyes are exhausted from reading, and he's found nothing. Well... that's not quite true. Because at that very moment a slip of paper falls from the sky and he nearly laughs as he reads the text. Apparently he's right on track.

Story Phil is apparently supposed to be beginning to question the marks, and today they're supposed to go to the town library to find out where the marks came from. Phil nearly laughs out loud at this, and once Dan is up and they've eaten, they're taking a carriage into town and Phil finds himself combing through shelves upon shelves of books. 

He learned quickly that Dan doesn't know either - it's just something that's accepted, and when he asks the librarian she says the same thing, and can't find any books about it either. 

He spends hours combing through history books, and finds nothing. Finally the library is closing and they head home, Dan seeming unsurprised, but Phil is reeling. How could this not be recorded? How could no one have an explanation for the thing that rules this society?

When they finally get home and into bed, Phil frowns and turns to Dan, sitting up.

"Can I see your mark?" he asks, and Dan sits up too, holding his hand out. The slip of paper that falls nearly lands in Dan's hand, but Phil grabs it before it can.

He learns that tonight Dan will kiss him, and afterwards he should tell him he loves him. He sighs, letting the paper fall. Now it's just a waiting game. 

He returns to Dan's hand, looking at the mark and comparing it to his.

"Yours is smaller." he observes. "Just barely... but it is." they both examine their hands a while before Dan nods, shrugging. 

"Yeah, I suppose it is."

"That's strange. I'd have thought they'd be the same size."

"Yeah, I suppose I thought that too." Dan agrees, and Phil can't decide why this is so strange to him, but it is. 

They sit for a while, and eventually Dan asks Phil to read to him. He does - a romantic fairy tale, and soon they're drifting off and he flicks the light off, illuminated now only by the moonlight through their window as he sets the book down on the nightstand. 

"Thank you, Phil." Dan whispers, scooting in close and wrapping his arms around Phil's neck. 

"Of course. Anything for you." Phil whispers, and he realizes he means it. He loves Dan so much. Even if he doesn't remember who he is... he'd do anything for him. 

"Phil..." Dan starts, opening his eyes, and Phil's struck suddenly by how close they are - but he supposes that's to be expected if there's a kiss coming soon. 

"Yeah?" he breathes, and he doesn't know who does it but suddenly they're holding hands, thumbs brushing each other as they stare into the eyes across from them.

"I think... I think I feel something." Dan whispers and Phil smiles, pulling him closer. 

"What do you feel?" he asks, and Dan smiles softly.

"I feel..." Dan begins, but he cuts himself off as he leans in and their lips are pressed together - soft and gentle, but with all the emotions in the world. Phil feels his heart swelling, and even though he knows that this boy in front of him isn't real, he's still so proud of him, and he's so happy for his growth, and Phil can't help but smile into the kiss. 

It doesn't last long, but it's perfect and when they break apart they're both smiling. Phil nearly forgets his task, but when he does, he leans in for another quick peck. 

"Dan... I love you." he whispers, and Dan's face lights up. 

"I love you too." Dan breathes, and there's a moment of happiness. A moment of calm before the pain starts.

Phil gasps in shock as a searing, white hot pain builds in his hand and he tries to yank it away from Dan's, but it won't budge. White light erupts from the connection between their hands and Phil has to look away it's so bright, screaming in pain, tears beginning to prick his eyes. 

The light keeps growing and growing and growing, and with it so does the pain, and it all feels unbearable, until suddenly it stops and the room falls back into darkness, the boys' hands falling apart. 

"What was that?" Dan gasps, and Phil shakes his head, stunned. 

"I don't know." 

Both boys look down at their hands, and there's a collective intake of breath as they see what's there. 

Where Phil's circle had been before - a thin blue ring - there's now a large black circle like Dan had, with blue light shining out around it, moving and pulsing, almost like an eclipse. 

"Is yours-" he starts.

"Yeah." Dan confirms, holding his hand up, and they compare. Yes... they both have the same mark now. 

"It's like..." Phil whispers.

"An eclipse." Dan finishes, and something about his tone of voice makes Phil's head jerk up in surprise. When he looks up and sees Dan's smile, though, it all makes sense. He doesn't even have to ask - he just knows. Dan's back. 

"Dan!" he breathes out in relief, falling into his best friend's arms. "I missed you!" 

"I missed you too." Dan whispers, hugging Phil tight. "I was here the whole time. I just couldn't get through."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'm back. Thank you... for everything, Phil. You did it for both of us. I love you." Dan's voice rings out honestly, and Phil can't keep the smile off his face.

"I love you too." he responds without thought, but the smile does leave his face, replaced by wonder as both boys look down, their hands pulsing from their marks. 

"I love you?" Phil almost asks, and Dan responds in the like, and once again, their hands pulse.

"Well that's a plot twist!" Dan giggles and Phil nods, falling into Dan's arms, relishing in the sense of home his best friend always brings.

* * *

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and when Phil closes his eyes in Dan's arms, he opens them, and nearly cries in frustration.

He can't go through another one of these... he wants to be home. But the universe isn't on his side, and Phil almost screams before he blacks out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A week without uploading, she comes back with two chapters...


	10. Chapter 10

Dan wakes up slowly, and for one torturous, tantalizing, horrible second, he thinks that he's back.

That is, until he realizes he's in their flat from a year ago and nearly cries, falling back against his old checkered duvet, squeezing his eyes shut in despair. Well... at least this seems to be one set in reality and not some hellish alternate dimension... that must be a plus... right?

Getting out of bed, Dan pulls on a sweatshirt and pants, traveling out into the kitchen. He finds Phil there, sipping coffee, and sits down across from him.

"Phil. Do you know who you are?" he decides to go straight for the point, but realizes it may not have been the smartest move when Phil's eyes widen and he looks at Dan as if he grew a horn out of his forehead. 

"Um... yeah? Is this supposed to be some weird philosophical question? Did you have a weird dream last night? Did you get up early and spend hours on some existential article stream about 'who you really are'?" Phil asks, and Dan shakes his head, chuckling a bit.

"Yeah uh... weird dream I guess." he responds and Phil nods, shoving his coffee across the table towards Dan.

"Here. You probably need this more than me."

"Phillip Michael Lester! Giving away your coffee? Has the world turned upside down?" Dan gasps, putting a shocked hand up to his chest.

"It's my third cup this morning." Phil admits and Dan sighs, shaking his head and chuckling at his friend as he takes a sip. Even if Phil isn't aware of where they are... at least this is his Phil. 

Dan settles down with his coffee and starts scrolling through his phone. Apparently it's 2015. That'd explain the way Phil just looked up at his hair and raised his eyebrows, seemingly surprised at the curls. 

"Hey, you know it's the anniversary of the day we met? Like at the station I mean... not online." Phil observes as he looks at his own phone and Dan looks down at the date, nodding and raising his eyebrows. October 19th. Phil's right.

"Happy friendiversary." Dan mumbles as he continues to scroll.

"I mean... I think it's a bit more than that..." Phil starts, getting up and walking around the table. 

"Huh?" Dan questions, and his eyebrows shoot straight up when Phil bends down with a hand on Dan's shoulder, leaning in to peck him on the lips. 

"Happy anniversary." Phil whispers with a smile, and Dan smiles back, but inside his mind he's terrified.

So.

This is the first fanfic where they're already in a relationship. And apparently they got together the day he went to first meet Phil? Really? Could you get more cliche?

"Happy anniversary!" Dan responds quickly when he realizes Phil was waiting for a response. The black haired man chuckles and shakes his head, ruffling Dan's hair. 

"I like it like this, babe. You should wear it like this more often."

Ew. Babe? Seriously?

"I think I will. Finally embrace the hobbit hair."

"It's cute, and it makes me sad that I'm the only one who usually gets to see it. Though... I do like getting to keep some things just for myself..." Phil smirks and Dan blushes, his imagination running wild with what Phil could mean by that. His blush only intensifies when Phil moves and pulls Dan's chair out with him on it, coming in close and lifting a leg over Dan's lap to straddle him, sitting on his lap. He leans in and Dan tilts his head away, intimidated by how quickly this is all moving and how he might have to act if Phil truly believes they're in a long, committed relationship. 

"Uh... morning breath." Dan warns and Phil chuckles, shaking his head.

"I don't care." Phil whispers and then he's kissing Dan and Dan can't help but kiss back, tingles rushing through his whole body at the sensation of their lips connecting, of Phil's hands making soft circles on his hips. This Phil obviously knows how to kiss him, and Dan is falling to pieces underneath the blue eyed man, any and all reservations forgotten in the sensation of their lips moving together like dancers. 

Phil pulls away after a few moments and Dan doesn't dwell on why he wants to move back in for another kiss, feeling empty at the loss of Phil's lips against his own. 

Phil gets up, though, and Dan sighs, downing the rest of his mug of coffee. 

"Alright, Danny, time for the mandatory nostalgia fest!" Phil announces and Dan sighs, following him into the lounge where Phil has the 'phan' tag pulled up on tumblr. 

"Really?" Dan asks and Phil shrugs.

"It's the best place to find stuff of us through the years. Everyone's posting about it today!" Well... he supposes that's true. 

They look through the tag together, and sure enough it's full of 'phan through the years' collections. They stop at one that's the first picture they took together, and Phil straightens up suddenly.

"Dan! We're going to recreate this picture!" Phil exclaims excitedly and Dan's eyes widen. 

"Really?"

"Yes! Okay I'm gonna print this out and then we take one and print it out and we can frame them and it'll be so sweet!" 

"Phil you're an idiot."

"But I'm  _your_ idiot!" Phil swoons, batting his eyelashes. Dan can't help but break down laughing and Phil leans in for a quick kiss before bouncing off to print the photo. Dan sighs and brushes his teeth, rummaging through drawers to find shirts that somewhat resemble the ones they had in the picture. It's not until he goes into Phil's room and finds it completely different and empty, that he returns to his and notices the second dresser and tons of Phil's belongings scattered around the room. Oh. Of course. 

He finds similar enough shirts and soon they're recreating the photo, Dan standing behind Phil with his hand in his hair, and  _oh god he was so cringe back then_. Phil leans in close and looks up and to the side, and they click the photo. Phil prints it off and they put them side by side, smiling down at the pictures. 

"Talk about a glo-up." Dan chuckles and Phil smiles, leaning into his side and snaking his arm around Dan's waist. Dan can't help but think how easily they slot together - how normal this all feels. God, these phanfictions are fucking with his mind. 

And wow... something  _really_ must be fucking with his mind, because is he suddenly glowing in both the pictures? What's happening? No... he can't be imagining it because now Phil's backing up and staring at the paper in wonder. 

"What's... what's happening?" Phil stammers and Dan shakes his head, not knowing. Suddenly the whole room flashes white and both men squeeze their eyes shut, opening them carefully after a few moments. Everything's the same. Everything's normal. 

Well... almost.

There's one very,  _very_ clear difference and it's staring at Dan and Phil as if they were aliens. Dan's honestly not so convinced that it isn't. 

"Who are you?" the brunette with the long emo fringe asks, shock clear in his eyes. 

"I'm..." Dan starts.

"Me." the brunette finishes and Dan nods, amazement and horror mixing in his mind, because sitting before him on the floor is... him. Well... him from years ago. From the looks of it, it's him from the same day that photo was taken, wearing the same shirt, the same hairstyle, the same soft features he'd had back in 2009. "God... I wear hobbit hair in the future?" 

Dan almost laughs at the boy's disgust, shaking his head. 

"Dan..." Phil whispers, and both the boy on the ground and the man standing look over. "Oh uh... my Dan." Phil clarifies and the boy nods as Dan continues to look towards Phil.

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" Phil asks, coming up to Dan's side and wrapping an arm around him. Dan shakes his head, clearly confused, and turns back to the boy who's blushing profusely now. 

"So you're... we're... in the future..." the boy stammers and luckily Phil picks up on what he means before Dan does, nodding his head.

"Yes, we're together. Engaged, in fact, we just don't wear the rings since we haven't told the internet yet."

Well... that's news to Dan. 

"Wow..." The boy whispers, and Dan's eyes widen as he sees an all-too-known flush on his cheeks as the boy not-so-subtly looks Phil up and down and then bites his lip. Wow. He'd forgotten how thirsty he was back then. 

What takes him even more by surprise is when he looks over to Phil and sees his adam's apple bob up and down as he gulps, blinking quickly. 

_What the hell is going on?_

The worst part is, that just then is when a note flutters down and Dan sees that it's exactly what he was hoping it wouldn't be. 

Sighing and crumpling the note up to drop it, Dan turns to Phil, putting no energy into the words he in no way wishes to speak.

"I can tell you want to. If you want... I'd be okay with it." 

Phil turns his head quicker than Dan thought possible, eyes wide as he gulps once more. 

"I... you... really?" Phil nearly squeaks and Dan nods, inwardly shaking his head and hoping that it doesn't last too long. 

"Dan..." Phil starts, moving towards the young boy on the ground.

"Yeah?" both Dan's respond and Phil frowns, looking between them. 

"Alright... you." he looks towards young Dan. "I'm going to call you Bear, okay?" Young Dan nods furiously, gulping hard, and man was he whipped for Phil, jesus fucking christ. 

"So... Bear... would you like to join us? It's our anniversary today... I was just about to take Dan to the room and celebrate... but if you'd like, you could join us." Phil offers, and Dan cringes as he sees how quickly the boy nods, eagerness written all over his features. God, he was an open book. 

Dan can't believe what's happening as they walk back to what's apparently 'their' room. He enters first and yelps quietly at the unexpected push from behind as he's shoved against a wall and hot lips are on his neck. They know right where to connect and immediately Dan is putty under Phil's grasp as the older man grinds on him from behind, grasping his wrists to pin them to the wall. Well, if he'd been cynical thirty seconds ago, those thoughts are long gone now. 

Dan moans softly as he grinds back against Phil, sucking in a sharp breath as he feels Phil bite down on his neck and suck a mark there, and then he's being whipped around, his wrists still pinned to the wall as Phil connects their lips now, grinding against him front-on, and _holy hell_ Phil knows how to make him feel good in this universe. Dan's eyes are squeezed shut as he moans against Phil, but then his eyes open and widen a bit. He'd forgotten they have an audience. He doesn't stop though, watching as 'Bear' stands there, slack jawed with a hand gently rubbing the front of his jeans unashamedly. Dan closes his eyes again and decides what the hell? He has to do this anyways, might as well give the kid a show. 

The grinding lasts another minute or so and Dan goes all out, moaning and whining against Phil as he eats up every second, his whole body electrified. Finally Phil pulls away and turns around, both men facing the boy who's now leaning against the closed door, lip between his teeth as he palms himself through his jeans. 

"Like what you see?" Phil asks, and Bear nods quickly. Dan doesn't even know how it happens but the next minute he's shirtless, Phil's shirtless, and Bear is buck naked on the bed. His mind is whirling, trying to catch up, when Phil comes up close to him and wraps his arms around Dan's waist, putting their foreheads together as he begins to sway. Dan puts his hands on Phil's shoulders and they slow dance to the silence as Phil begins to whisper.

"What should we do to him? What are you okay with? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Phil breathes, and Dan smiles. Even in this weird fictional world where Phil's far more dominant than he is in real life, he's still sweet and caring Phil, and that's why Dan loves him.

The thought draws Dan up short.

Platonic love, he means. Of course. They love each other, that's nothing new.

The only problem is, he's not entirely sure that's the context he'd been thinking in. 

Either way, Dan has to shake it off fast to give Phil an answer and he shrugs, because what about this  _won't_ be weird for him?

"I'm fine with anything. Whatever you want to do." Dan promises and Phil licks his lips, smiling. 

"Alright, then." Phil agrees, leaning in to kiss Dan, hard. He works his tongue into Dan's mouth and the brunette barely notices until his pants are being yanked down. He steps out of them carefully and then helps Phil out of his. Boxers come next, and soon they're grinding together, buck naked, and Dan can't help but moan and curl into Phil at the sensation. He flutters his eyes open to see Bear, flushed and slack-jawed on the bed, hand around his dick but not moving, seemingly stunned into stillness. 

Dan smiles softly at him before his eyes flutter back shut and he groans, rutting into Phil. The older man's hands come down to the tops of his thighs and somehow Dan just knows what this means as he jumps up and Phil catches him. He wraps his legs around Phil's waist and they continue to kiss as he's carried to the bed and then laid down gently, Phil climbing over him until they're lined up on the bed and jerking down, making Dan see stars. 

Honestly... he doesn't know how he's ever going to be able to look at Phil the same way once they get back. 

Phil moves off him after a bit and it's embarrassing how much Dan wants to whine and pull him back, but he knows that's not the point right now. He looks over, eyes widening as he watches Phil reach into the bedside drawer and pull out a bottle of lube. 

"Alright Bear, are you ready? I think I remember just how you like it." Phil says with a smile and Bear gulps, nodding. He seems to have lost the ability to speak. 

Dan's eyes widen even farther as he sees Phil quickly lube up his fingers and work the boy open, a motion clearly done thousands of time before, and Phil's obviously perfected it by the way that Bear bucks up into him and moans right from the first push. Honestly... it's embarrassing. 

Dan feels captivated as he watches this unfold, but he's shaken out of his stupor when Phil looks over and raises an eyebrow at him, then glances behind himself. "What? Are you not gonna get started? Leave me high and dry?" Phil smirks and his words register after a moment. Dan jumps into action, grabbing the bottle of lube and pouring some on his fingers, moving behind Phil. Well. At least for once in a fanfiction Dan gets to top. Though he supposes he's also bottoming at the same time... oh god, this is weird.

Phil doesn't take long to open up, and Dan finds his prostate quickly. He waits until Phil has Bear ready, and then pushes in, releasing a mortifyingly loud moan from Dan's younger self. Dan uses that moan to push himself into Phil, smiling when he hears a rumble in Phil's chest. He pulls back and pushes back in, bringing his hands up and massaging the wide planes of Phil's back and hips, eyelids fluttering at the sensation of being surrounded by him. 

Oh, shit. This is the first time he's done this with Phil! 

He doesn't know how he hadn't realized that sooner, but here he is, balls deep inside his best friend, realizing that it's their first time doing this. 

The revelation doesn't last long as Phil pulls out of bear, therefore rutting into Dan who moans loudly, thrusting with Phil as he shoves back into Bear. This continues for several minutes and Dan's breathing is getting heavy when he hears Bear let out a strangled whine, and he knows he's coming. Slowly, Dan pulls out of Phil so Phil can pull out of Bear, and they move Bear to the edge of the bed to rest and recover. Meanwhile, Phil flips Dan over on the bed and crawls over him, hungrily coming down and sucking on his lower lip, biting it and pulling away. 

Phil smiles down at Dan and reaches to the edge of the bed, grabbing his discarded boxers and running them over his dick, cleaning it off. Once it's clean, he applies more lube and returns to Dan, grinning. 

It doesn't take Phil long to open Dan up, and the brunette is amazed by how well this man knows his body, every touch making him unravel further, until he didn't even know he could be so wrecked. Dan's eyes pop open when he feels Phil enter him, but they shut almost immediately, squeezing tight as he moans, rolling his hips into Phil's, biting his lip and nodding. 

"God, yes. Yes, right there." Dan whispers and Phil chuckles, continuing to hit that spot that makes Dan weak in the knees, his entire legs shaking like jello as Phil works in and out of him. It doesn't take long for Dan to finish, and Phil is right behind, thrusting a few more times into Dan until he's filling him up and then pulling out, kissing him gently. 

Dan raises a hand and wipes the sweat from his forehead, exhausted and in shock from everything that's just happened, but then he looks up to see Phil smiling and he can't help but smile back. 

_This dork._

"Happy Anniversary." Phil whispers, and this time it's Dan who leans up to press their lips together. 

"Happy Anniversary."

* * *

And by now I believe we all know what happens next, and no, it's not that Dan makes his way home. No... he closes his eyes and opens them, and he's certainly not home, that's for sure. The scent of alcohol is thick in the air before he blacks out.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Phil's eyes blink open slowly, the room spinning as it comes into focus. 

To his right sit PJ and Chris, leaning on each other as they giggle, eyes squeezed shut as they both grip a bottle of whiskey, each trying to get it away from the other. Across the circle is Tyler, snorting as he covers his laughter with the back of his hand, then bringing it away to throw back a shot of vodka, scrunching up his face and then laughing again, reaching for a bottle of raspberry lemonade to remove the taste.

And finally, to Phil's left, swaying a bit into his personal space, sits Dan. Dan has a bottle of red wine in his hands and his face is flushed, a small smile on his lips, with glassed over eyes that give away the fact that he's not entirely _there_.

None of this is to mention the fact that they all seem significantly younger - probably high school age. 

Phil raises his eyebrows as he notices for the first time the bottle of gin within his own hands. He gazes at it a moment before setting it down gingerly in front of him, deciding that getting drunk probably won't help his situation.

It doesn't take him long to realize that there's some sort of game going on in the circle. It keeps getting forgotten, but then someone will bring the conversation back and questions will be prodded and poked, while people are pressured into doing embarrassing and ridiculous things. Phil observes until finally a note flutters down and he catches it, reading the writing carefully. 

After a quick skim of the note, it's clear what kind of fic this will be. It's a seven minutes in heaven fic. At least they don't seem to fuck in this one - just kiss for a while and admit their feelings. Phil could do that.

He watches, only participating when forced, answering vaguely to each question thrown his way. 

Finally Chris sits up with a serious frown on his face, asking Dan truth or a dare. Dan snaps out of his trance long enough to shake his head quickly and mumble 'dare', before Chris is practically shoving both Phil and Dan into the closet together, telling them the timer starts... NOW!

Phil looks up and can barely make out Dan's nervous and shy form in the darkness, his hands twining in front of him while his head hangs a bit awkwardly. Phil doesn't know the exact context of this universe, but it seems Dan has a major crush on him and is nearly exploding with nerves.

"Hey... it's okay." Phil reassures, walking a bit closer and reaching his hands out to pry Dan's apart and lightly take ahold of them. He rubs gentle circles on Dan's skin with his thumbs, slowly and gently pulling the boy towards him. Dan takes a few nervous steps forward, and then they're just inches apart. Dan gulps audibly and then blushes. It must have been an intense blush for Phil to be able to see in the near blackness, and his heart twists a little.

"It's alright, Dan. You don't have to worry, it's just me."

At this Dan laughs sharply and Phil frowns, squinting in the darkness to try to read Dan's expression.

"You don't have to be nice. I know you know I've liked you for ages, and I know you're not into me. Or guys at all." Dan huffs and Phil frowns once more, this time deciding to pull Dan into a hug, rubbing a hand up and down his spine slowly as he tries to formulate the correct response. 

"Well... first off, Dan, I'm not straight." He starts, and it doesn't escape him when Dan stiffens in his arms, but he holds tight.

"You're not?" The waver in the younger boy's voice is obvious, and Phil bites his lip. He pulls his chin back so his cheek now rests on Dan's shoulder, his lips just a hair away from brushing Dan's neck as he breathes across the expanse of skin.

"Definitely not." he responds carefully. He's amazed at how fast his own heart is beating. Dan... this young, nervous Dan reminds him of the Dan he met at the train station all those years ago. That Dan who shuffled his feet and twisted his fingers as he looked up at Phil through his fringe, his cheeks painted a beautiful shade of red. That Dan who he'd had countless silent moments with, both with wide eyes as they stared at each other, wondering if something was going to happen before he would cough and turn away, reminding himself that Dan was too young and it was too dangerous. They couldn't - not with Dan still idolizing him from his YouTube persona. Not with the distance. Not with the age gap. Not with how out of control Phil felt when they got too close - his own beating heart and tightening throat terrifying him into stopping anything before it could ever happen.

Now he had that Dan within his arms once more, and he could _feel_  the boy shiver within his arms. 

"And as for who I'm into..." Phil started, really wanting something more right now, but knowing he had to complete this fic if he were to ever get back home. He pulled Dan tight against him as he finally let his lips touch the thin and soft skin in front of them, mouthing and nipping at the skin there. He reveled in how quickly Dan's whole body went from shivering and tense to soft and pliant with a loud sigh. He smiled into the skin, and then he was pulling back and moving up, and then their lips were moving together.

Phil's eyes widened behind his closed lips as they kissed. He could have sworn he'd seen sparks in the blackness. He moved his lips with Dan's, his fingers finding the soft and cool sides of Dan's jaw as he breathed in the scent of _Dan_.

They kissed and Phil found himself getting lost in it, so when Dan suddenly pulled back to hold him a few inches away, he stumbled slightly, shocked by the sudden change. 

"Wait." Dan stammered, his palm flat on Phil's chest. Phil brought his own hands up to hold that hand, rubbing it gently with his thumb.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, concern overwhelming him for his best friend.

"I... are you sure you want this?" Dan asked, and Phil smiled softly, biting his lip. In the darkness he could just barely make out the whites of Dan's eyes, wide as he blinked up at Phil, and Phil brought his hands back to Dan's waist, continuing his thumb's soft circles there. 

"More than anything." he promised. The little squeak along with the intake of breath from Dan was enough to send him forward, and Dan's soft, pillowy lips were between his again. He couldn't keep the grin off his face as they kissed, and then Dan was grinning too. They giggled into each others' mouths, and when the closet door was yanked open and light flooded in, Phil blinked hard. Dan was still in his arms, though, and he felt safe as the light grew and grew around the three figures standing in the doorway, until everything went bright white and all feeling disappeared.

* * *

When Phil woke up he was in his bed. His new bed. There was no wicker frame - it was a smaller room. He wasn't about ready to actually let himself believe that this was reality... that he'd really made it out... but when blackness didn't overwhelm him a sliver of hope snuck in, and he scrambled out from under his covers to go find Dan.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Dan wakes up to his shoulders being shaken. He blinks confusedly, his vision blurry before it finally focuses on Phil's wide eyes above him, his hands tight as they dig into Dan's shoulders.

"Dan! Dan? Hey... Hey, you're awake. Dan... is it you?" Phil asks, and Dan frowns. What does he mean? Of course it's him. 

At first Dan wants to roll his eyes and huff, annoyed since all he wants right now is just to break out of this and get back to normal... until he realizes. 

He's in his bed.

"Phil?" Dan asks, his voice coming out an octave higher than he'd anticipated, breaking in his sleepy tone.

"Oh my god. Dan... Dan! We're back!" Phil exclaims, a gigantic grin taking over his face, and Dan barely has time to suck in a breath and prepare himself before Phil's launching himself into Dan's arms, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"We're back." Dan laughs, relief flooding through his body as he hugs Phil back. 

They sit there hugging for a few moments, and then Phil slowly pulls himself away and gets off Dan's bed a little awkwardly, coughing. 

"Um... so... do you want to have some breakfast? I guess we should probably see how long has passed... run damage control on Twitter..."

Dan flushes immediately. Wow... this is awkward. Phil's not looking at him as he shuffles his feet next to Dan's bed, and suddenly Dan is very aware of all that's transpired between them - all that's changed since they were last in their world. 

"Yeah, uh... that sounds good." Dan agrees, and just like that, Phil is gone. The brunette sighs, slipping out of bed and throwing on a tshirt over his bare chest, and shoving the phone from his nightstand into his sweats' pockets. When he reaches the kitchen, Phil has two bowls of cereal out for them, and coffee brewing. His phone is in his hand, and Phil's frowning.

"What is it?" Dan asks, eyebrows pulling together, as he pulls his own phone out from his pocket. At first he's surprised by the lack of notifications. He'd been expecting them to be blown up in their absence... that's when he notices.

"Phil... it's the same day."

"No time passed." Phil agrees, and Dan's eyes go wide. 

"Holy shit. I wasn't just imagining that, though. You were there too, right? When we - and I - and uh..."

"Yeah. Yeah, I was there." Phil mumbles and Dan flushes, looking down at his feet.

"We're okay, though... right?"

"Yeah, of course we're okay." 

Dan sighs with relief, smiling slightly as he takes the hot water off the stove and pours them coffee, making them up and bringing it to the lounge.

"So uh... do you have any idea why that happened?" Phil finally asks, and Dan shrugs.

"Honestly... no. I've never believed in anything supernatural before... I have no idea how that happened... or why."

"Yeah... so um... should we just try to forget it? Go about life... like normal?" 

"I suppose." Dan heaves a sigh. "I dunno, Phil. That was all really..." Phil looks at him with raised eyebrows and Dan flushes, trying not to let his mind wander back to that place. "It was a lot." he decides on and Phil lets out a breathy laugh, nodding in agreement. "Maybe we should just... take a bit to get settled back into real life. We could maybe film something tomorrow for the gaming channel... just to keep things going. But I think I might need some time to... recover." 

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'll make sure everything's okay online, and get some ideas together for the video." Phil stands, and Dan feels a small pang in his chest. "I'll uh.... if you need anything... let me know?" Phil asks, and there's a strain to his voice. Dan can't quite explain why it's there, but Dan feels the same strain threatening his own throat and he swallows hard, nodding, and looking down at his hands.

"Yeah... yeah, I'll let you know." Phil nods and gives him a small smile, turning to go. Just when Phil's almost out of the room, Dan clears his throat. "And Phil?" The black haired man turns, his expression twisted up almost painfully. "You too. If you need anything, I mean."

"Right. Thanks, Dan." Phil smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and then he's gone and Dan doesn't know why, but he feels so, _so_ cold.

* * *

It's been a week since Dan and Phil got back to real life. The apartment has been strangely silent. They film videos, but aside from that, they don't do much. In fact, everything else Dan and Phil used to be interested in (playing video games, watching movies and TV shows, scrolling through memes online) suddenly hold no entertainment. When they aren't filming, Dan and Phil just sit there. Sometimes they sit in different rooms, sometimes on either side of the same couch. They never talk much, though. Time is spent thinking in silence, and it's slowly eating away at Dan.

This actually leads to a wonderful amount of content. Since nothing else feels interesting, Dan and Phil find themselves filming much more than ever before. They're making videos left and right. It's the only time Dan feels alive... and maybe that's because he doesn't have to be him anymore. He doesn't have to be Dan, who just went through countless scenarios that not only put him in several intimate settings with his best friend, but also through entire body transformations and mental exhaustion. While he films, he can be Daniel Howell, and it's a breath of fresh air. 

They film, they edit, they get content out, and no one has noticed. Daniel Howell and AmazingPhil seem happier and more productive than ever. Dan and Phil, however, feel like they're trying to wade through honey, moving slowly with glassed over eyes as they try to readjust to _normal_.

Sleeping is hard. Dan feels cold and alone... Since their hug when they realized they were back, he hasn't touched Phil. Part of him longs for that touch, and part of him is terrified of it. Maybe he's just terrified of how much he longs for it. 

They hadn't talked about it much in those worlds, but over time they'd just gotten used to being physically close. They'd become okay with being physically intimate... but things are different now that they're back. They aren't supposed to do those things. They're Dan and Phil, and yes, their fans think that they're together, but they're really just best friends.

So Dan shouldn't feel that pang in his chest each time Phil gets up to leave the room and looks back at Dan, a twisted expression on his face as he bites his lip, seeming to want to say or do something more, before shaking his head and turning, walking out of the room. 

Dan shouldn't feel a tug in his gut whenever he walks into a room to find Phil curled up with his arms around his knees, staring into space, and want to walk up and wrap his arms around his friend and bury his nose into Phil's hair. 

Dan shouldn't be dreaming about Phil every night - about his lips, his neck, his skin, his breath. 

But he is... and he does... and he doesn't know what to do about it.

 


	13. Chapter 13

"Dan?" Phil finally asks one day as they sitt on either end of the couch. 

Dan's legs are pulled up to his chin and his hands wrap around a mug of tea that has long since gone cold, not a sip taken. The sound of Phil's voice jolts his head up, snapping his mind out of the memories of fighting against the glass wall that held him back from being able to control his own body, stripping his clothes off and begging Phil to beat him. That memory in particular likes to swirl in his mind quite often, and it always leaves Dan staring wide-eyed into space as he relives the moment. 

"Yeah?" Dan asks, leaning to the side to place the tea carefully on the coffee table. 

"Do you want to... I don't know... go do something?" Phil suggests quietly, his posture mirroring Dan's as he looks at him with those wide bluey-grey eyes.

Dan's eyes widen and he's immediately struck by a wave of fear and discomfort, his instincts telling him that outside is bad. Activity is bad. Before he says no, though, he makes himself take a moment to consider Phil's words. Would it be so awful to go out and do something? It's been a month since they got back, and Dan's slowly feeling like he's forgetting who he is. He certainly has forgotten how to interact with his best friend. 

Their whole friendship they've been able to interact easily. It's the thing that drew Dan to Phil - he'd never had an easy time talking to someone. He always would find himself getting stuck not knowing what to say, but not quite being comfortable with silence. Then he met Phil, and everything was different. Somehow he never got lost for words, but the silence was alright too. Now the silence is okay... it isn't necessarily _awkward_... it just feels like something is being left unsaid. It felt like they're both putting something off, and they can't proceed with their lives until they address it. 

Dan's sick of this feeling. He's sick of the silence. So he heaves a sigh and nods his head, slowly extending and stretching his limbs.

"What do you want to do?" he asks, and he can't help the way his heart pangs a little when Phil's lip twitches up - clearly not having expected him to say yes. 

"I dunno. I was thinking just something simple... maybe get some food, or go see a friend?"

"Yeah... maybe just some food." Dan agrees. He and Phil's relationship has been so tense that he knows any friend of their would pick up on it instantly, and he's not in the mood for faking.

"Okay yeah... any ideas or just..."

"You can choose a place." Dan responds immediately.

"Right. Alright, let's go." Phil mumbles, getting up. 

They go to their rooms and get dressed to go out - something Dan hasn't done since getting back. The few times they'd been in desperate need for groceries, Phil made the runs. 

Dan pulls on his fuzzy black jumper and ripped black jeans, running a hand through his hair. The bags under his eyes are obvious, and he hopes that they won't run into any fans, but he isn't going to let that hold him back from taking a step that could possibly get he and Phil out of this rut.

He misses Phil. He _really_ misses him... which sounds ridiculous to say about someone you see every day, but it's true. In that... place... they were close. They leaned on each other - relied on each other and supported each other even more than they've ever done in real life. They'd had to - it was as simple as that. Dan supposes that part of the reason he feels like he doesn't know how to act around Phil now, is that it got so easy to just be _together_ in those worlds. To be close, not just emotionally, but physically. How do you go back to normal banter-filled friendship when you've been forced to have sex with the other? When you've been trapped in your own body, being made to do mortifying and traumatizing things? Dan just doesn't know how to go back... but he wants to. He misses Phil.

The brunette walks out of his room slowly, plastering a forced smile in the form of a tight line across his face as he sees Phil waiting by the doorway. He's wearing a blue shirt that matches his eyes, and Dan winces because he wore that exact same shirt in one of the fic-worlds they'd been trapped in. 

"You ready?" Phil asks and Dan nods, walking up to Phil's side. He leaves space between them - more space than they'd usually leave, and Phil smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Alright then, I'm thinking sushi. We can pretend we're back in Japan."

"Yeah... yeah, that sounds good." Dan agrees, and then they're walking down the stairs and out of their apartment, onto the busy streets of London. 

It doesn't take them long to get to the sushi place - they go there fairly often since it's just a few blocks away from their house. Dan's eyes are wide, taking in his surroundings. He hasn't been outside in a month, and it's felt even longer since he's been out in the _real_ world. He looks around, and he can feel Phil's concerned gaze on him, but he doesn't turn his head. When the back of Phil's hand brushes the back of his, he winces. Phil jerks his hand away immediately, and Dan brings his own together in front of him, biting his lip. It felt natural - normal even just to reach over and grab Phil's hand if he seemed anxious or overwhelmed. Dan's sure that he'd have instinctually done the same - but that's not them. That's not the _real_ them. Instead he just looks forward, ignoring that it ever happened, wringing his hands as he walks into the restaurant.

They're led to a booth in the back and Dan slides in, picking up the menu even though he already knows what he's going to order. A dragon roll, a miso soup, seaweed salad to split between he and Phil, and unagi since he knew Phil would contemplate ordering it, decide not to, then regret it.

They sit in silence, looking at their menus until the waitress comes over a few minutes later.

"Have you made your decisions?" She asks smoothly. 

"Can I have a miso soup, a rainbow roll, and a seaweed salad? And uh... actually no, nevermind." Phil mumbles, handing her his menu. Dan nods. Phil ordered the salad - one less thing for him to worry about.

"And you?" the woman asked, turning to Dan with raised eyebrows.

"Um... can I get the dragon roll, a miso soup, and unagi?" Dan requests and she nods, jotting down his order. She checks for any drink orders and they decline and then she's gone.

"Dan... how are you?" Phil breaks the silence after a few awkward minutes of staring at the dark wood table below their hands. 

"I'm... okay. I'm glad we went out."

"Yeah, me too." Phil agrees with a small smile. 

"How are you?" Dan asks, and this conversation feels all wrong. It feels formal and removed. It feels like they're two strangers stuck in an elevator, forced to make small talk.

"I'm alright. I..." Phil bites his lip, cutting himself off in thought before he takes in a deep breath and looks at his hands on the table. "Do you keep having flashbacks?" he asks in a small voice and Dan gulps, tightening his grip on his own hands until his knuckles are white.  _He's stripping his shirt off so hard it must give the back of his neck a burn as it tugs against the flesh, dropping hard on his knees, sobbing as he begs for Phil to beat him.._

"Yes." Dan spits out the word more forcefully than he'd intended. "Yeah..." he tries again, noticing Phil tense at his sudden outburst. "Yeah, I have. It's like... I thought it'd fade and go away... that I'd forget... but it's almost like everything's gotten clearer."

"Yeah... me too." Phil agrees and Dan nods, biting his lip. Silence draws out for a few minutes before Dan takes a deep breath, surprising himself with what he says, as it's come out without any forethought.

"Phil I miss you." he states, biting his lip immediately and wondering where that came from. He looks up nervously at Phil who has an unreadable but open expression on his face, examining Dan closely. 

"I miss you too, Dan." Phil whispers carefully, and Dan lets a sigh of relief flood him because he knows that Phil understands what he means. He doesn't think Dan is silly since they've been together for a month... he knows what Dan means, and he misses him too. "Do you think... we could try to just go back to normal?" Phil asks finally, a small, hopeful smile on his lips. "Because I'd really like that."

Dan thinks for a moment, but as he looks at Phil smiling he can't help it when his own lips twitch up as well.

"Yeah... yeah I'd like to try." Dan agrees. They wear matching grins for a moment and then the waitress is back with their food and they laugh, not exactly sure what they're laughing about, but Dan feels bubbly and elated - he doesn't know the last time he laughed.

They laugh and begin eating, joking about funny times in the videos they've filmed lately, since it's the only activity either of them has done. Dan smirks as they reach the end of the meal and he picks up his second of four rolls of unagi, seeing Phil gulp and stare longingly at the piece of sushi. 

"You made the right choice, I almost ordered unagi, but decided I probably wasn't hungry enough. I guess I shouldn't order any now... it's not worth it at this point..." Phil mumbles and Dan grins, rolling his eyes. 

"The other two are for you." 

"Really?" Phil asks, his eyes lighting up as a grin takes over his face.

"Really, you dolt. I only got them because I knew you'd want some."

Both men smile at each other and Dan stiffens a bit when Phil gives him a warm smile and then Dan feels a foot gently brush his ankle, gone as soon as it came. He keeps the smile on his face, though, forcing himself to relax. It's okay. It's just Phil, and he's just thanking me for the sushi. 

Dan's able to relax and he insists on paying for their food when the waitress returns. Once he's gotten his card back they're up and out, headed back to the apartment, but this walk is the polar opposite of the first. This walk isn't stiff and silent, walking fast to get to their destination. This walk is loud and bubbly, sharing all the jokes and stories Dan didn't even know he had until now. But now he has his best friend back, and he needs to share, and to revel in this. He feels like he's walking on clouds the whole way back, and by the time they're in their apartment once more, his cheeks hurt from smiling.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters have been shorter lately - I'm in preparation for finals, but I still want to get content out to you guys. Hope you don't mind shorter chapters so long as it keeps the frequency up! :)

Three months. 

Three months is how long Dan is able to play 'normal' before he breaks.

Three months of joking with Phil, playing games with Phil, of feeling like finally they might be able to get back to normal, before Dan snaps.

It's an early Sunday morning. Well, it's 10:47, but that's early for either of them to be up and moving on a Sunday. Dan is sipping coffee while Phil scrolls through Twitter on his laptop next to Dan. The brunette absently watches as Phil clicks the little heart next to a few posts and responds to some comments, his lower lip caught between his lips as his fingers tap along the keyboard.

Dan's been feeling a little off all day, but he figures it's just because his sleep schedule has been off lately. His eyes feel heavy but he feels ultra-aware of his surroundings. He watches as Phil switches over to Tumblr and begins scrolling. It's clear from the amount of artwork that Phil, like Dan, mostly follows the fans of theirs that make art related to them. He sees screen after screen of cartoon versions of them recreating moments from videos, and for one tease of a moment he almost feels warm, a tingling of happiness rising in him. 

That happiness is obliterated the moment he sees the image. It's another drawing of the two of them - a bit scarily lifelike, of Dan wrapped up in Phil's arms as they kiss. They're entirely naked and Dan is riding Phil. This in and of itself would be enough to set Dan off, but one extra detail is what sets him off completely. It's a simple detail - maybe on a different day he'd have laughed and thought it was disturbing, but cute. Today, though, the two tawny ears poking out from his curly hair and the tail coming off the end of his spine make Dan's heart drop, and his blood begins to boil. 

Phil seems to notice too, freezing as he sees the image, then whipping his head towards Dan quickly. The minute he sees the brunette's flaming gaze, he quickly scrolls past the image. You can't erase memories, though, and suddenly Dan is taken back to the first time he ever felt Phil against him - inside of him, moving in and out as Dan was overcome with need. He remembers it, and he hates it. 

"Dan..." Phil starts, closing the laptop lid halfway and pushing it to the coffee table, turning to face the brunette whose knuckles are white as his fingers grip his knees.

_Phil felt so good inside of him, soft but hard all at once._

"Dan... are you alright?" Phil asks, the concern in his voice growing.

_He was so careful - so attentive - so gracious._

"Hey... it's okay. It's okay, Dan. We're not there anymore. We're right here." 

_They are here. They are here and Phil is still so careful. So attentive. So gracious._

"Is there anything I can do?" Phil questions, and Dan looks up to meet his eyes, blue meeting brown.

_He's here, but it's not the same. It's not the same because that place was bad. I hate that place. It ruined everything._

Blue meets brown and Dan's lips part slightly, his whole body shivering.

_Or do I? Was that place bad... or is it this one that I hate?_

Phil's eyes are wide and full of concern and care, and Dan's heart is twisting in his chest.

_Am I holding so much against that place... because now that I'm here I can no longer have what we had then?_

Dan freezes, his lower lip catching between his teeth, sucking in a sharp gasp.

_Am I in love with Phil?_

"Dan. Dan, what's going on?" Phil's voice shakes Dan out of his stupor and he lets his lip snap back, pulling his knees even tighter to his chest and burying his face in them - too overwhelmed to look at Phil directly right now.

"I'm fine." he whispers, knowing it's not right to let his best friend worry.

"Okay..." Phil murmurs, clearly disbelieving. "Well is there anything I can do?"

"No... thanks, Phil." Dan mumbles. He's trying to fight the tears that are beginning to prick behind his eyes - frustrated with himself. How could he have not noticed sooner? Every time he thought of those fic worlds it stung, but it wasn't because of what happened there. Not for the most part, at least. It wasn't because of any sort of trauma. It's been because each time he thought of it, he thought of how easy things had become between he and Phil. It's because he realized what he had lost, he just wasn't willing to accept it.

Now he has, and suddenly the whole world seems a lot more scary.

Phil can't know. Ever. That's the one thing Dan is sure of. 

If Phil knew, it could ruin everything. Their careers, their living situation... their whole lives. Phil  _is_ Dan's life... it's as simple as that. And him knowing about Dan's apparent feelings... well, even if Phil did stick around it'd just be out of pity, and surely it'd be too awkward to maintain. So Dan does the only thing he can think of doing in this situation. He sucks up his tears, clenches his jaw, and looks back up at Phil, his mouth a hard and thin line.

He's going to repress this. Feelings be damned, at least he can stop living in the past now, and truly understand why those memories haunt him so much. It's a good thing... it is. And now that Dan knows why he's been feeling this way, it'll be that much easier to shut it down.

...Right?

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

It isn't easy. 

Phil is clearly still trying his hardest to get them back to where they once were, and now that Dan is aware of his feelings he begins to tense each time Phil gently brushes against him. Each time he leans into Dan to read something over his shoulder. Each time he puts a hand on Dan's arm, looking at him with concern clear in his eyes as he asks if Dan is okay. Dan tenses and his heart picks up the pace, ringing in his ears as he tries to keep the blood from rushing to his cheeks.

Dan tries his best to stop thinking about their time together back in  _that_ place... but it's easier said than done. Not only are there the dreams that bring him back, but the moment Phil bends over to grab the controllers from below the TV so they can play Mario Kart, Dan finds his eyes trained on the way his jeans smooth out, clinging to his rounded ass, and Dan remembers what it feels like. He remembers it all too well. 

Phil catches him staring when he turns around and Dan coughs, blushing as he looks away. Phil gives him a sympathetic look. He thinks Dan is getting caught in a traumatic memory, when in reality the pillow Dan pulls into his lap is masking just how  _good_ that memory is, in all the wrong ways.

They didn't talk about it for months, but Phil clearly has noticed that Dan is still a bit off, so he's begun trying a new tactic. Now, Phil has begun joking about their time there. It's horrible.

Dan will stub his toe on the leg of the table and shout an annoyed "Fuck me!". Phil will smirk from across the room, giving Dan a little shrug, and responding with an, "Already have." Dan knows he's trying to help. It's certainly not helping.

Before their 'trip', Dan rarely got morning wood. It happened a lot as a teenager, but for the past few years it was only a few times a month that he'd wake up with a surprise to deal with. Now, it's nearly every day. Each night is filled with moans, skin against skin, Phil's lips between his teeth as they move together. Dan wakes in the morning in an empty and cold bed, his dick hard against his stomach. 

He tries not to think of Phil when he takes care of it. He really does. But every morning in the shower, the same images that he experienced in his dream come back to him, and he goes over the edge with deep blue eyes boring into his mind, a soft pale body with a sprinkling of chest hair and dotted freckles overwhelming his imagination.

"Dan?" Phil asks one day when Dan's zoned out of the show they're watching, staring at a particularly interesting patch of carpet as those same dreams play before his vision. Unfortunately, they've become a daily occurrence, too. He can't get away from them.

"Yeah?" Dan asks, blinking hard and shifting his gaze to Phil, trying to separate the lust-filled blue eyes in his mind from the wide and concerned blue eyes across the couch.

"You alright? You went into your own little world for a minute there."

"Yeah... I'm fine." Dan responds tightly, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs, holding them close. He needs to protect himself. From what, he doesn't know. Phil? Probably. Himself? Definitely. 

"Okay..." Phil murmurs quietly, reaching forward towards the remote to pause the show, looking back at Dan and thinking awhile before speaking again. "I want to get drunk." he states bluntly. Dan's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"What?"

"I want to get drunk. With you. Not like... sloppy drunk. Just a glass or two of wine to smooth out the edges. Everything's been so... tense lately."

"Yeah." Dan agrees thoughtfully. 

"So... you'll drink some with me?"

Dan thinks for a bit. Yes, taking the edge off sounds nice just about now. Then again, getting drunk around Phil sounds like anything but a good idea. To the logical side of his brain. To the other side of him, though, it sounds like a tantalizingly wonderful idea. 

Dan never said he had strong willpower.

"Yeah. Yeah, I will." he agrees, biting his lip. He'll just have a little. Just enough to stop worrying so damn much.

"Okay. Be right back!" Phil grins, and then he's hopping off the couch and prancing towards the kitchen. Dan bites his lip as he tightens his grip on his legs, breathing deep. He's not going to get sloppy drunk. He's not going to do anything stupid. Everything will be fine.

Dan's pep talk to himself has just about finished when Phil returns, two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle in the other. He sets the glasses down on the coffee table and pours the wine carefully. Setting down the bottle he raises a glass and Dan does the same.

"To us." Phil smiles, and Dan can't help but reciprocate.

"To us." Dan agrees, raising his glass to clink it, but Phil seems to want to add to his toast and doesn't meet him in the middle quite yet.

"To making it through more shit together than anyone could ever imagine, and somehow come out the other side still loving each other." Phil adds to his toast, finally clinking their glasses. 

Dan brings his glass to his mouth immediately, taking a large and slow sip. He's hoping the glass will hide his blush and once it's gone he can blame it on the alcohol. 

Phil loves him. 

It's not like it's news - of course they love each other. It just hasn't been said since they got back, and somehow in the same context as bringing up  _that_ place, it makes Dan's insides twist and his cheeks redden as his lips threaten to pull up into a small and nervous smile.

The wine takes immediate effect. He hasn't had a drop of alcohol since  _that_ place, and now the smooth dark liquid sends warmth through his body, especially his face, and he feels a light tingling through his veins. He takes several sips in a row before finally relaxing back, letting go of his knees and allowing his legs to fall in a more casual position as he leans against the couch, wine glass slowly swirling in one hand. 

They drink and they turn the show back on, Dan tuning back in as Phil fills him in on what he's missed. He makes his way through one glass and pours both he and Phil another, beginning to get giggly as his face warms up and the alcohol starts to loosen his mind. 

By the third episode he and Phil have made their way closer on the couch - the way they used to sit, but haven't since  _that_ place. Dan giggles as Phil snorts at something on the screen, leaning over into Dan's space. It reminds him of that time in their first video together when Phil leaned his head against Dan's chest, but this time Dan reaches out quickly to snatch the glass out of Phil's hand that's tipping dangerously, only making him laugh harder. 

Phil pulls away with a blush on his cheeks, thanking Dan and taking his glass back, sipping clumsily at the maroon liquid. Dan smiles at him, caught in a moment. 

He knows he's staring. He knows he's frozen, but somehow he can't seem to break out of his daze. His eyes stay on Phil and his lips stay twitched up in a smile as he gazes at his friend. 

Eventually Phil looks back and sees him, smiling in return. A strange look comes into his eye and then he's taking the wine glass out of Dan's hand and helping him to his feet. 

Phil leads him into his room and lays him down, tucking him into bed. 

"Drink some water." Phil hands him a glass of water from his nightstand. "You should get some sleep." 

Dan takes a sip of water then puts it back, resuming his smiley gaze at Phil. His expression changes though, eyes widening and lips falling from their smile as Phil leans in and pecks him on the cheek. It's a quick kiss - but it sends tingles through Dan's body, and when Phil pulls away his cheeks are newly red.

Dan's holding Phil's hands. He's not sure how he got there, but he is, and when Phil tries to pull away to leave, Dan holds tighter.

"Stay?" he asks in a voice that's embarrassingly small. Phil pauses for a moment, contemplating him, before a smile washes over his features and he nods. Dan shuffles over in the bed and Phil climbs in. 

They don't cuddle, but Dan turns on his side to face Phil, smiling at the warmth that having two people under the covers provides.

"Thank you." he whispers and Phil nods once more, a gentle twitch upwards of his lips as he reaches up, brushing a stray curl out of Dan's eyes. 

"Goodnight." Phil whispers back, and then he's closing his eyes and Dan takes a moment to observe his friend's face, soft and warm, before he closes his own eyes and allows sleep to take him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to address: I know that for the majority of this fic, it's been switching perspectives. I personally really prefer pining fics (and the mystery along with and the excitement) when it's just from one character's POV. Not only for reading, but I feel my writing is a lot better in pining fics if it's just one. So I'm sorry if you wanted more Phil chapters, I think it's mostly (if not entirely) gonna be Dan from here on out :P


	16. Chapter 16

Warm.

That's all Dan feels as he slowly breathes out, not opening his eyes quite yet. He's waking up, but he doesn't really want to. Everything is so nice right now... he just wants to stay here a little longer.

He's on his side with his arms wrapped around someone's shoulders, and their arms link under his own and behind his back. His knee wedges itself between two legs, and his face is buried in soft hair. Dan breathes deep and sighs, finally blinking awake. 

It's bittersweet. On one hand, Dan's not too ecstatic to be back in the real world and to have to deal with all the complications of life and what last night may bring up for them. On the other hand, he sees Phil in his arms, and Dan's heart swells. He's had the most peaceful and calm sleep he's gotten in months, and now he just feels warm and soft and relishes in Phil's nearness, careful not to move too much and wake Phil up. He wants to savor this moment as long as he can.

Dan can't help his lips twitch up into a small smile, though, and for his body to constrict and give Phil the tiniest of hugs as warmth wriggles up and through him, making him feel giddy. When Phil squeezes him back he freezes for a moment then relaxes, sighing and watching as the breath ruffles Phil's hair. It's okay. It was just an instinctual reaction Phil had in his sleep. Dan's still safe. 

God, he's in deep. Dan nearly chuckles at himself - at how big of a problem he's gotten himself into. Because he's head over heels in love with the boy in his arms, and if he weren't so damn content right now he'd probably break down sobbing.

Instead he lays there, absently rubbing his thumb in small circles on Phil's shoulder blade as he gazes down at the mop of black hair. It's spiked up in a half-quiff, and Dan can't help but hope that Phil will leave it when he wakes up. He loves how Phil looks with a quiff. He doesn't even dare hope that Phil would add his glasses to the mix... 

As Dan fantasizes, he doesn't even quite realize as Phil squeezes him gently. He smiles, but then Phil's head tilts up slightly and Dan shuts his eyes immediately, trying to look as asleep as possible. 

He gulps as he feels Phil's hair brush past his chin, and then he feels warm breath on his jaw. Either Phil's looking at him and waking up and will leave any second, or he just shifted in his sleep. 

Neither seems to be the case as the bed shifts slightly and Phil pulls himself forward, and then there are soft lips brushing Dan's cheek and he can't help that his eyes shoot open. 

Phil meets his gaze, eyes wide in surprise and cheeks flushed. Dan flushes himself and they pull apart with awkward laughter filling the room, Dan pushing up to a sitting position as he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, flicking his gaze up to Phil who's still flushed a bright red as he fixes his hair into a fringe. Dan just barely has the room in his racing mind to curse the hairstyle change, but there are more important things at hand.

"I'm sorry." Phil squeaks after a moment, bringing his hands up to hide his face. "I thought you were asleep."

"I wasn't."

"Yeah... I got that." Phil pulls his hands down just enough to roll his eyes at Dan, and the brunette blushes.

"Right. Um... it's fine, though. Thanks for staying with me last night by the way. Sorry, I probably shouldn't have asked you to. You know how I get when I drink." Dan mumbles, trying desperately to change the subject.

"It's alright. I'm the same. We're just a couple of co-dependent drunks." Phil giggles and Dan laughs with, albeit a bit forced.

"Honestly Phil, we're just co-dependent. Full stop. Let's not try to act like it's any different." They both laugh - honestly this time - and Dan feels some of the tension leave the air. 

"Alright, I'm gonna make some pancakes. I need sugar." Phil announces, standing up, and Dan smiles up at him.

"Make me some?"

"Who do you think I am?" Phil smiles down at Dan, and then as if on a whim, reaches out to push a lock of Dan's hair back into place. "Right. Um... well just come out in a few and they'll be ready." Phil stutters and Dan blushes, nodding.

When Phil's left, Dan falls back on his bed, eyes wide as he stares at the ceiling with the trace of a smile still on his lips. 

It's too dangerous to hope for. Certainly too dangerous. And Dan's definitely not entertaining the idea at all. He's just happy that things are feeling more comfortable now, is all. He's definitely not thinking that Phil could maybe like him since he kissed his cheek when he thought Dan was asleep. Since he kept cuddling Dan even when he woke up to find them wrapped around each other. Dan's definitely not entertaining that possibility. Because the let down would be too painful.

He's just happy that they're feeling closer. Who knows, maybe having so much physical history and comfortability from their time in  _that_ place could actually allow them to be a bit closer in day to day life. It doesn't have to be weird - friends can be cuddly. Friends can kiss each others' cheeks. Friends can tell each other they love them whenever the hell they please. 

Something in the back of Dan's mind, though, is reminding him that they  _certainly_ don't seem 'physically comfortable' with each other now. And if friends kiss each others' cheeks, it's probably not when the other is asleep. And that blush on Phil's face....

Dan stumbles out of the bedroom before he can think on the subject anymore, deeming the topic far too dangerous. He stops in the entrance and smiles at Phil for a moment, oblivious to his presence as he hums softly and flips pancakes. It takes Dan a moment to recognize what Phil's humming, but he smiles when he finally recognizes the song. It's Toxic by Britney Spears. Dan smiles and giggles silently as Phil begins to sway his hips side to side, his ass poking out a bit as he hums a bit louder. He's still in the intro, and when he finally gets to the first lyric he opens his mouth and lets out a weird moan that sounds like a cross between something sexual and someone letting out a huge shit, and Dan finally bursts out laughing.

"Phil, how many times have we gone over this?" he laughs as Phil turns around, pouting, and Dan demonstrates how to get the growl behind the  _'Baby can't you see'_ lyric. Phil copies him, unsuccessfully, and Dan just shakes his head and shrugs, smiling. They end up humming it together quietly as Dan gets coffee ready.

He's just taking the first sip of his coffee when Phil turns to him, a hesitantly teasing glint to his eye that tells Dan to watch out for whatever he's about to say.

"A bit of a different situation to the last time we hummed this together." Phil murmurs and Dan frowns for a second before his eyes shoot open and his eyebrows jolt upwards, sputtering and choking on the coffee in his mouth.

"Jesus Christ, Phil! A little warning, would you?" Dan shouts, his mind suddenly flooded with images of that hotel bed in Vegas, on all fours above Phil, his eyes at level with a red and swollen cock as he took it in his mouth, feeling Phil's mouth around his own. They'd hummed that song together and the vibrations had drove Dan mad, sending tingles all the way up and down his spine. 

How can Phil so easily refer back to that time? Isn't it at all weird to him? Dan's eyes are still wide as he shakes his head at Phil and sighs, putting his coffee down.

"Yeah. Yeah, definitely different." he finally responds and Phil chuckles, turning back to the pancakes. Dan stares at him in awe and frustration.

_What on earth is going on in that dork's mind?_


	17. Chapter 17

When the two men sit down with their pancakes to watch a show in the lounge, Dan can't help but notice how close Phil sits. Their thighs are lightly brushing, and it's not as if they haven't sat like this before, but on such a large sofa there's really no reason for it. 

Dan glances up once in surprise at Phil when he first sits down and Phil just smiles back before tucking into his pancakes. Dan tries to shrug it off, but the faint pressure of Phil's thigh against his sends shivers through his body and Dan has a hard time focusing on anything else.

The show passes and somewhere along the way their plates and mugs of coffee are discarded to the coffee table, and Phil has settled back against the couch even closer to Dan. Now their entire sides are pressed up against each other and Dan can feel his palms getting clammy. Honestly, what kind of game is Phil playing at here?

Once the credits begin to roll, Dan is shooting up out of his seat. He gathers the dishes quickly and rushes off to the kitchen, the tension in the room being too much for him to bear. What is Phil doing? Has he picked up on Dan's feelings for him? Is he trying to mess with him? To make fun of him for getting a crush? No... Phil's not that cruel. Could he be trying to make Dan feel better about having a crush on him? Or maybe he's just happy that they're back to a close friendship after it being so awkward for so long. Or perhaps he feels like it's still awkward so he's trying to overcorrect...

Dan's mind runs through all the possibilities as he does the washing up, chewing furiously at his lip until it bleeds, then licking up the metallic tasting liquid from his bottom lip and holding it tight against the top in hopes that it'll scab over quick. He's so focused on his own thoughts and the dishes he's scrubbing to dust that he doesn't even notice when Phil enters the room.

"Hey." Phil finally says, making Dan jump and fling the plate in his hand, sending soap and water flying across the room as well as the plate that crashes to the floor and explodes into shards.

"Shit!" Dan exclaims, freezing in place. "Okay... you're near the closet, can you get the broom out?" 

Phil nods, wide-eyed, and tiptoes over to the closet.

"Sorry!" the older man squeaks, clearly embarrassed to have scared Dan. He gets the broom out and Dan frowns, looking around him at the shattered ceramic littering the floor.

"Can you actually toss me the broom and then go get my shoes? I don't want to get a shard in my foot."

"Yeah, of course." Phil nods, throwing the broom which doesn't quite reach Dan, rattling to the floor where Dan has to reach out and grab it. Moments later Phil is returning with a pair of Dan's shoes, throwing them towards him, and soon Dan's feet are safe and covered as he begins to sweep up the mess. 

"Sorry." Phil repeats from the edge of the kitchen, looking down at his feet.

"It's alright. I just didn't know you were there." Dan mumbles, wincing at the sound of ceramic scraping over the tiled floor.

"Right." Phil responds, and then there is silence as Dan cleans up.

"So uh... did you come in to ask me something before?" 

"Oh! Um... no... I suppose not really." Phil murmurs and Dan raises his eyebrow, sweeping the pile of shards into the dustpan and disposing of it.

"Okay. So uh..." Dan starts, unsure where the intensely awkward air came from, but suddenly he feels he could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Phil is looking at his feet and shuffling back and forth, and Dan doesn't know where to go from here. "I guess I should go work on the script for my new main channel video. I'll uh..." Dan starts, trying to get out of the situation, but just then Phil looks up and cuts him off with a look. 

His expression is nervous. His bottom lip has been sucked between his teeth and his eyebrows are pulled together in a concerned expression. His fingers are twiddling with each other as his feet shuffle, and suddenly Dan's heart feels like it's dropped into his stomach. He doesn't know what's coming... but he's terrified.

"Dan..." Phil starts, hesitantly approaching the brunette. Something about the way Phil's talking and looking at him right now is scaring Dan - he doesn't know why - so he finds himself backing up as Phil advances. Eventually his back hits the counter and his hands come up to grip it, bracing himself as Phil continues to walk forward. He doesn't stop until he's nearly toe-to-toe with Dan, and the younger man audibly gulps, trying to search Phil's expression for any explanation for how he's acting.

"Yeah?" Dan finally asks, biting his lip once more, mentally cursing himself when he feels blood begin to pool on his lower lip. He looks up to Phil who's now looking down at his mouth, a frown on his face. 

Slowly, Phil lifts his hand up and cups Dan's jaw, lightly moving his thumb over to Dan's bottom lip and gently swiping the blood off then moving his thumb back, putting pressure on the cut to help close it up. Dan gulps, looking at Phil's eyes which are still trained on his lips. Suddenly Dan's brought back to  _that_ place. How Phil had backed him against a counter. How he'd been placed on said counter. How he'd felt the alien sensation of a tail flicking back and forth in pleasure as their lips made desperate explorations of each other. He remembers Phil standing between his legs, crotches pushed together as Dan wrapped himself around the older man, breathing in his scent as they thirsted after each other.

Dan gulps once again, and then, to his great horror, his body betrays him. Without a single thought given to it - without him ever allowing his body to move an inch, his tongue flicks out of its own volition and licks against Phil's thumb on his lip. 

Dan immediately tugs his tongue back into his mouth, blushing in mortification and searching Phil's face for signs of disgust.

Instead, though, Dan watches as Phil gulps, his adams apple bobbing up and down, as his stormy blue eyes finally snap up to meet Dan's gaze, wide in surprise. 

"Dan... I'm gonna do something and I need you to not hate me for it, okay?" Phil finally whispers, breaking the silence, and Dan nods. He doesn't trust his voice right now. 

Dan's eyes are wide as Phil steps an inch closer. As he puts his free hand down on the counter on one side of Dan. As his gaze moves back down to Dan's lips. Dan's eyes are wide for all of this, but they close when Phil finally leans in and replaces his thumb on Dan's lip with his mouth, moving that hand back to the other side of Dan and the brunette has never been so happy to be trapped in his whole life.

Dan sighs against Phil's lips, his hands coming up to the nape of the older man's neck as he kisses back carefully. Phil's hands find Dan's waist, and they're still kissing, and  _god what does this mean?_ Dan brushes the thought aside and smiles into Phil's mouth, and soon Phil's smiling back and they have to break the kiss because they're both giggling, wrapped in each others' arms, and Dan's lip is bleeding again so Phil breaks away to tear a piece of paper towel, holding it to Dan's lip and Dan just stares back at him, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

"I thought it wouldn't be as perfect. Back here, you know." Phil starts, and Dan raises an eyebrow to ask what he means. "I mean... in  _that_ place we were written to fit together perfectly. I thought everything felt so good just because we were written as soulmates. But... it's the same here. Better even, maybe." Phil smiles, and Dan grins back. He hadn't even thought of that, but yes. It's just as good here. Better... because here it's real. 

"Well... maybe soulmates don't just exist in fiction." Dan whispers back, a little scared of making such a big statement after just a kiss... but it's Phil. It's so much more than just a kiss.

"I think you could convince me of that..." Phil smirks, leaning in to kiss the corner of Dan's mouth, avoiding his lip, which Phil still has a paper towel pressed firmly against. 

"I think I'm already convinced." Dan agrees, and he can't help how his heart flutters.

"I think I want to be your boyfriend." Phil smiles, and it's so casually said, but it's so perfect. It's so _them_... it's so easy. And that's what's been missing from their friendship... the thing they've always had... it's just easy.

"I think I would love that." Dan responds, and this time Phil takes the paper towel away to give him a proper kiss.

* * *

 

It's two days later when Dan and Phil are curled up in Dan's bed, and Phil's drifting to sleep but Dan's still awake that he pulls out his laptop. He's careful not to disturb Phil who's koala-d to his side, smiling as he works around him to place the computer on his lap, typing in his password. His eyebrows raise as he sees his old folder that he'd forgotten about until now.

It's labeled "Gaming Video Ideas". Dan had chosen the title because he knew Phil would never look in there - they intentionally surprised each other with ideas sometimes, and it was a general rule that you never looked into the other person's video ideas folder. Inside, however, were certainly not gaming video ideas.

Inside this folder are Dan's saved phanfictions from ages ago when he'd made a queue to go through and read at a later date. Dan chuckles, opening it up to see what he'd put in there all those months ago.

At first everything looks normal, but as Dan gets into reading the descriptions of the fics, suddenly his blood runs cold. 

_"Dan and Phil are teenagers. Dan has no friends - his mother is a devout Christian and his father is an alcoholic. One day a new boy shows up at school and sits next to Dan, and little does he know that that boy will change his world."_

_"It's the night before Dan's birthday and everything's gone wrong. Phil stays up all night trying to set up something so Dan can have a special day, and Dan wakes up to find Phil laying on the ground in a mess of cake batter and icing."_

_"Dan is an abandoned neko waiting for adoption. When a man comes in who doesn't seem to have any malicious or perverted intent, Dan finally warms up to the idea of going home with someone, and ends up finding so, so much more."_

The list goes on, and Dan pales as he reads through them. Just as expected, the last fic is a seven minutes in heaven fic, and Dan feels like he's going to throw up.

It was his fault.

This whole thing was his fault.

Dan's shaking now, and Phil stirs, Dan slamming his laptop shut quickly. This wakes up Phil the rest of the way, who blinks sleepily and frowns at Dan.

"What's wrong?" Phil asks, his voice thick with sleep.

"I..." Dan starts. He's mortified, but he knows he can't hide this from Phil. He shouldn't. "It's my fault." he finally breathes out, opening the laptop back up to show Phil.

Phil reads for a bit and Dan watches as the realization dawns on him. "Phil I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to... I didn't know-"

"You were reading phanfiction?" Phil asks, a grin taking over his face as he reaches up to poke Dan's dimple.

"What?" Dan stutters, confusion washing over him.

"You don't have to be sorry, I just think it's cute. You were reading phanfiction!" 

"Yeah I mean... our viewers write whole novels about us... I figured I should..."

"It's cute." Phil murmurs, leaning up to kiss Dan's cheek where he'd just poked it.

"Wait... so you're not mad? It was all my fault!" Dan stresses, pulling his eyebrows together.

Phil stops for a moment, thinking, and Dan's heart sinks. 

"Yes... this  _is_ all your fault." Phil agrees finally, and Dan feels cold as stone. "It's all your fault that we're together now. It's all your fault that I'm happier right now than I've ever been my whole life. How dare you, Daniel?" Phil's giggling now, and Dan can't help but join in.

"Wait, so you're really not mad?"

"No, you dummy!" Phil laughs, and relief floods over Dan as he leans down to capture Phil's lips within his own.

* * *

 

The first mistake Dan made was making the decision that he wasn't valuing the creative talents of his viewers enough, promising to read more phanfiction. He'd just ignore the fact that it was supposed to be about him and his best friend - if he was part of what inspired this work, he should at least recognize it, right?

The second mistake he made was creating a private folder and saving the works he thought sounded interesting so he could read them at a later date. He intended to maybe some day shout out a few authors and tell them that their talents were appreciated. 

The third mistake was ever doubting that Phil loved him.

* * *

And if Dan and Phil developed a habit of occasionally adding a new fic to that folder and returning to their next video flushed and giggly, well... no one would ever be the wiser.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you didn't catch it - the three mistakes listed near the end of the chapter were a reflection back on the very beginning of this whole fic)
> 
> Anyways... WHOOO This fic has been a ride! Thank you all so much for sticking with me through all this - it's been a blast :) Please let me know what you thought of it!! <3


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